Two Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back: Thanks to "The Bachelor"

Dear Readers,

Once again, I would like to share something with you that you never knew you wanted to know in the first place.

You don't need to be a fan of the show...or even watch the show in order to read this post.  The only thing you need to be...is a fan of humanity in order to understand this.

For those of you that don't watch "The Bachelor/Bachelorette" here is a summary of the show:  They get a bunch of single people, who apparently can leave their jobs for weeks at a time, and then sequester them all in a big mansion.  They then film these single people going on dates with the one available person of the opposing gender.  The available bachelor/bachelorette goes on a bunch of dates and eliminates contenders along the way.  They always keep the craziest/most unstable people.  It makes for better TV.  There is always a bunch of crying, theatrics, and drama.  Finalists move on when the bachelor/bachelorette gives them a rose.  They then go on to the next round of ridiculousness.  This continues until there are only two available options left.  The bachelor/bachelorette then is basically proposed to by two people.  They have to pick one person.  So basically, they end up breaking someone's heart and totally denying their proposal on national television in front of millions.  And then the other person gets a proposal, a ring, and they marry and live happily ever after.  Or not really.  Usually a couple weeks after the show they break up (but pretend to be together until the show starts airing.)

The show is ridiculous.

Last night I spent two hours of my life...That I'll never get back...watching "The Bachelor".  At the end I wanted both a refund and a clue.

Seriously, I need a CLUE.  I don't know why I continue to watch this thing.  I can't stop myself.  Part of me thinks that I watch it because it's so ridiculous??  Another part of me knows I watch it because I'm a sucker for love.  Even though, most of the relationships that have resulted from this show haven't worked out...I still remain hopeful.  My optimism is irrational and at times annoying.


**Just for the record:  I don't just watch really bad reality T.  I also like really good TV.  Examples include:  Breaking Bad, Downton Abbey, Luther, The League, The Office, Community, and anything on the BBC.


Last night I took it upon myself to "Live Tweet" The Bachelor.

For those of you not familiar with the twitter:  "Live Tweeting" is when someone doesn't have a life and therefore ends up tweeting in response to a show/event occurring live in real time.  It's basically a more updated version of your grandfather getting mad at the news and yelling at the TV.  

I figured if I was going to be annoyed for a couple of hours...I was going to annoy others for a couple of hours.

Which I accomplished.

I'm not going to re-cap the show.  But I am going to summarize.

In summary: there was a baton, a bunch of crying, the wearing of a really bad romper, staged kissing, semi-nudity, the scarring of children for life, a lot of bikinis, more crying, bad acting, a couple of roses given out, a lot of bronzer, sparkly dresses, and overall bad fashion.

Or that's how I saw it.

It was ridiculous.


It was also highly suspicious.  I'm not buying it.  The reason for my suspicion is because The Bachelor's (Ben's), dog is named "Scotch".  And he owns a winery.  Who names their dog "Scotch" when they own a winery??  Totally suspicious if you ask me.  


Additionally, I believe the show to be produced by a bunch of 14 year old boys.  There was a lot of unnecessary bouncing, bikini chicken fights, and a disproportionate amount of mini skirts. 

Finally, I feel that it would be a more sensible idea to give the girls potted plants instead of single roses.  Roses die.  A potted fern can stay alive forever.  With little water.  That's love.  Ferns = Love.

Despite everything, I applaud these girls.  I could NEVER go on this show.  Never.  For any reason.  If I did, it would be the worst season ever. So bad that it would probably end the show for good.  And I don't want to be responsible for that.  


Let's Reflect, What Did We Learn:

• "The Bachelor" stole 2 hours of my life.
• If you own a winery, your dog's name shouldn't be "Scotch".
• Potted plants last forever...Like true love.   

So, I Ask You:
Did you watch "The Bachelor" last night??  Would it not make for sense for The Bachelor to give out potted ferns??  Is it your belief that I need to get a life and stop "Live Tweeting" things??


Forever, Blogging About Things You Never Knew You Wanted To Know In The First Place,
Miss Oakley

**Comments are Welcomed & Encouraged.  No Judgment Shall Ever Be Passed.
**Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
**Should you wish to read more of my profound thoughts throughout the day...
    Follow my twitter account @MissOakley