The Amish Exist

Dear Readers,

Today I wanted to share a story with you.  And it happens to be a story that you need to know.  

This story is about:  

That One Time I Realized Amish People Existed.  And a bunch of them are residing in Iowa.

For real.

Up until a couple of years ago...I thought that the Amish were something of an "urban legend."  Like the stories about "Kidney Thieves" and "Walt Disney Being Cryogenically Frozen."  (Look them up if you don't believe me.) 

Turns out...The Amish...Not An Urban Legend. 

These people actually exist.  I know this for a fact.  Because I have witnessed them in all of their Amish-ness.

How did I learn about the existence of The Amish you ask??  Well, I'll tell you...

One day I was driving around for my Pharmaceutical Drug Rep gig  ("That One Time I Was A Drug Rep: A Tale of Type 2 Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction.") in southern Iowa.  

It was about 4PM and I had been driving for HOURS.  

I'd eaten a bunch of Cheetos and Twizzlers and had had way too much caffeine that day.  Specifically, latte's.  (They are delicious are they not??)

So anyway, I had been driving for hours and ended up in Lamoni, Iowa.

As I'm driving along the highway...I pass a horse and buggy.  Being driven by someone that looked like they came out of the 1800's.  Wearing all black, a hat, had a long beard...the whole thing.

I thought the Cheetos had gotten to me and I was seeing things.

But then I saw ANOTHER one.

And then another.  

And then a bunch of kids...with lunch boxes.  Who all looked like they were ready to go to a funeral.

I thought I had lost it.  I was convinced I had driven to the end of the world.  

I had never seen any Amish before.  And seriously didn't know they existed.  

I needed to talk this out.

So I pull over and stop at Pamida.  For those of you unfamiliar with this "Pamida" I speak of...Pamida is a small chain store.  It's like a little mini Wal-mart.  They are in really small towns.  And you can get everything there.  

When I pull into Pamida there is a horse and it's buggy tied to a light pole.  

I had clearly lost it.

I took a picture with my phone, sent to to my brother *Jack*, and then immediately called him.  I needed him to verify my mental state.  

Our Conversation:

Jack:  "Hello?"

Me:  "I'm lost."

Jack:  "Where are you?"

Me:  "I'm trapped in the 1800's."

Jack:  "You're probably exaggerating.  Seriously, where are you?"

Me:  "I'm in Lamoni, Iowa...Almost in Missouri."

Jack:  "And you don't know how you got there?  Why are you lost?"

Me:  "Did you get that picture I just sent you??"

Jack:  "No.  What was it of?"

Me:  "I have no idea.  Some dude that looked like Abraham Lincoln...only shorter...and he was driving a buggy.  With a horse"

Jack:  Snickers.  

Me:  "I'm serious.  I'm scared.  I've been driving for a really long time and now I've ended up in the 1800's."

Jack:  "No, you're just in southern Iowa.  There's a bunch of Amish in that area."

Me:  "WHAT?!  These people are real?!"

Jack:  "Uh, yeah.  There's a bunch of them."

Me:  "Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

Jack:  "What?  Did you want the Amish to say 'Hey, we're here??'

Me:  "Yeah, that would have been nice."

Jack:  "Don't worry, you're fine.  You're not lost.  You're just in Iowa.  That's what you get for living in Iowa."

Me:  "Dude, I've lived here for a while.  And I've never once seen anything like it."

Jack:  "Well, you must have never been to southern Iowa."

Me:  "I guess not."

Jack:  "You're kind of ridiculous.  Do you know that?"

Me:  "Yeah, I know."

Jack:  "Ok, I'm going to go.  I have a job."

Me:  "So do I.  Apparently I'm going to sell Erectile Dysfunction medication to the Amish."

Jack:  "Have fun."

Me:  Looks at the horse tied up to the lightpole next to my standard issued Drug Rep Impala and shake my head in disbelief.  

I then go into Pamida.  And there's Amish all up in the store.  I kept trying to make eye contact with the store clerk as if to say "Can you believe we're seeing this??"  But apparently, I was the only one in the store that was unfamiliar with the goings on of the Amish.

Anyway, I bought a bag of Chex Mix and some Laffy Taffy and then hit the road.   

And went on a mission to capture my experience.

So here I am driving all slow and creepy on the highway...trying to get a picture of the Amish.  I felt bad.


But then I just told myself that they had no idea what a cell phone or a Blackberry was.  And it was ok to exploit their lifestyle.

Here is the evidence:

Evidence of the Amish.

Rush Hour in Lamoni, Iowa

I took pictures like I was at the zoo or something.  The whole time laughing and looking around to see if ANYBODY else was seeing what I was seeing.  But it was just me and the Amish out there on that road.  Just me taking pictures of them and laughing.

I imagine I'm not the only one who laughed that day.

I'm pretty sure that night at dinner an Amish family talked about how funny it was to realize that an actual Drug Rep that sold Erectile Dysfunction medication in Lamoni, Iowa existed.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click here should you want to read about:   "That One Time I Was A Drug Rep: A Tale of Type 2 Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Reflect:  What Did We Learn?

• The Amish Exist.
• Apparently there are a bunch of them in Southern Iowa.
• Drug Reps who sell Erectile Dysfunction medication to the Amish living in Southern Iowa also exist.  

So, I Ask You?

Did you know the Amish existed??  Did you know there was a bunch of them living in Southern Iowa??  If so, Why didn't you tell me?? 

**Jack is not my brother's real name.  
**Just an FYI:  Don't try looking the Amish up online.  They don't have a website. 

Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted To Know About In The First Place,

Miss Oakley

 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.

 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.

 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...

          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley