A Journey Called Life

Dear Readers,

Life can sometimes be a wild ride. At times, it's an endurance test. It can be both beautiful and challenging. In short: life is a journey.

Journey's take time and they are comprised of trips, detours, maps, and can sometimes be a series of getting lost.

And that is okay.

Life is not about the final destination, but rather the journey that it takes to get there.

It takes both ups and downs to get through life. The downs make the ups more beautiful and rewarding. The ups make the downs bearable and worthy of getting up to face another day.

Your journey is unique and individual. No two people follow the same path.

There is a proverb that says "All roads lead to Rome."

And that is true.

Not every one will follow the same path to get to their final destination.

Your path at times may not be clear and you will have to fight through the dark to find your next step. And that also is okay.

Because life is unique to us all, so is our journey. It is therefore, counterproductive to compare your journey against that of another person. They are not on your path and have not lived your life. So why are you comparing yourself to them?

The only person you can compare yourself against is: the person you were yesterday. Strive to be better than you were the day before. Embrace your journey and own it as your own. You are unique and so is your path.

Miss Oakley
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Gratitude Changes Attitude: Ways to Practice Gratefulness

Dear Readers,  

                                             
Gratitude is a game changer to our perspective on life.

In life, the more grateful we are, the more it creates a positive outlook to our current situations.

It's all about how you look at things.

Life is 10% what happens to us, and 90% the attitude about what happens to us.

Charles R. Swindoll has said:
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable think is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only think we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes." 

When you choose to be grateful about life and the experiences it gives you...your mindset begins to change. 

Practicing gratitude can be easy and very rewarding.

Ways to practice gratitude:

• Keep a small journal on you- write down the things you have to be grateful for on a daily basis in a notebook. On bad days, you may have to really look for things. It could be something as simple as: "I'm grateful for this pen and this paper, it gives me ways to express my joy of life." I have a friend who writes down rather comical things about her life in her gratitude journal. She is thankful in situations that may irritate others. Yet, she chooses to find the humor in her gratitude. It is the humor around the situation that gets her through unfortunate times. She often finds the funny in the unfunny. 
• If a pen and paper are not your style, you could keep a running list on the notepad of your phone/computer. That way, you could update your gratitude journal on the go. 
• You can also practice gratitude in the moment. If someone does something kind, make sure you honor their kindness by letting them know they are appreciated. Kindness in life is not required. Make sure the other person knows you recognized their efforts. A little goes a long way.
• Practicing gratitude can also be done for others that have not done anything for you. Like when it comes to volunteering. You can choose to give back because you are grateful for the things you have, when others have less. Volunteering is an extension of gratitude. 
• Mindful meditation is another way that you can express gratitude. I do this while hiking or going on walks. I don't take my phone with me, but rather stay present in the here and now. I appreciate the sounds of the birds tweeting, the smell of the grass, and the breeze in the air. I let negative thoughts float by me in my mind and focus on the good in the moment: The ground beneath my feet and the fact that I have the privilege to go on this walk. 

Numerous research has stated that our attitude and gratefulness is what gets us through the often tedious tasks of living life. Life throws a lot our way and it is important to have positive strategies to fight negativity. Even the negativity in our own minds.

When we practice gratitude it impacts our attitude on life. The more grateful we are, the more positive our attitudes will be. 

So go ahead, allow yourself to adopt an attitude of gratitude. Life is, in fact, all about perception. Perceive it with gratefulness. 

Miss Oakley

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There Is No "Normal"

Dear Readers,

"Normal" is a word that gets thrown around a lot. 

It's used to describe everything from relationships to what we have having for dinner.

It's also a word I strongly dislike.

The reasons for my dislike are many. Mainly, it is because using "normal" is yet another way we compare ourselves to our ideal of what is accepted in society. 

Also, there is nothing that is "normal." Everything, everyone, and every situation is unique.

Your definition of "normal" and the "normal" of another person could be completely different. 

For example: The "normal' work weeks of the following four people:

Person 1: works 40 hours a week, Monday through Friday. This is their normal.

Person 2: works 60 hours a week, 7 days a week. This is their normal.

Person 3: works 32 hours a week, on weekends only and at night. This is their normal.

Person 4: works part time at two jobs, hours and days vary. This is their normal.

Each person in the above example has their own "normal." Yet, their "normal" is not in line with any other person's.

Here is another example of a "normal" gym schedule for the following four people:

Person 1: Works out Mon, Wed, Fri after work. This is their normal.

Person 2: Does not work out, takes the stairs when they can. This is their normal.

Person 3: Works out twice a week. This is their normal.

Person 4: Works out every day in the morning. This is their normal.

What I am trying to get you to see, is that "normal" for one person, does not translate to "normal" to another person. "Normal", therefore, is an internal and personal definition. Not an outward one to judge ourselves against.

So, why do we then compare ourselves to other's "normal" when everyone's "normal" is different and unique to their situation??

My challenge to you is to re-define "normal." When you use it to define yourself, you are actually comparing and therefore, restricting yourself to the definition of what another person/society holds.

Society tries to make us fit into neat little "normal" boxes. And this just does not work. Humans are very unique and no two people are alike. 

I challenge you to stop and think about your use of the word "normal." When you find yourself using it...expand on your definition. What are you really trying to say by using the word "normal"? What does "normal" mean to you? 

I myself do not use the word "normal" at all. Ever. For any reason. Typing this post is the first time I've written/said it in years. To me, "normal" is restrictive and counterproductive to our growth. We do not move forward when we compare ourselves to self-imposed standards of society. In order to move forward we need to be our unique selves. And that comprises a variety of situations and life experiences. 

There is no "normal." There are only unique people in unique situations, dealing with the task of living life. 

Miss Oakley

Please feel free to share, comment, and ask questions!

On twitter? Me too! https://twitter.com/MissOakley

Get Ahead Over The Weekend

Dear Readers,

Weekends are wonderful. They give you a break from work and the cycle that is life.

They also are time where most people take a break from their usual habits and let loose.

And letting loose is great. In fact, it's natural and healthy.

Here's a suggestion: Let loose in a way that SUPPORTS you in your overall goals, and not take you further from them.

For example: If your goal is to lose weight or get a new job... hitting up the park for a hike or volunteering would be in support of those goals.

The weekend starts on Friday and ends Sunday. By my count that is three days out of a total of seven that comprises your week.

Three days therefore consists of 43% of your total time.

If you cheat yourself out of the weekend, you are cheating yourself out of 43% of your week. You have worked hard for the other 57%.

The weekend allows you to keep going and literally give it 100%.

This post is not to make you feel bad, but to point out that the weekends are a great time to let loose IN WAYS THAT SUPPORT YOU AND YOUR GOALS.

Forbes recently posted an article that stated that there are 14 ways that successful people get ahead over the weekend: Successful people:
1. Make Time for Family/Friends
2. Exercise
3. Pursue Passions
4. Vacation
5. Disconnect
6. Volunteer
7. Plan
8. Socialize
9. Be Artistic
10. Socialize
11. Network
12. Reflect
13. Meditate
14. Recharge

Link to the Forbes article here: http://www.forbes.com/sites/jacquelynsmith/2013/02/22/14-things-successful-people-do-on-weekends/2/

Do something that is in line with your overall life goals and do that instead of things that take you further from your goals. You are worth it! Give it 100% and you'll reach your goals in no time.

Miss Oakley

On Twitter? Me too! https://twitter.com/MissOakley

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Allow Yourself to Be Human: Replace "But" with "And"

Dear Readers,

Your self talk and how you see yourself has a direct impact on how you feel about yourself.

You will often hear people trying to validate why they did not do something. This validation is negative and extremely counterproductive.

Example: "I didn't go to the gym today, but I will tomorrow."

The "But" in that statement is where you fail yourself.
Not only are you:
1) Being too hard on yourself by
stating what you did not do.
2) You are setting yourself up for future failure by trying to immediately remedy the first statement by making empty promises in the following statement.

How many times have you said: "I didn't ______, but _____"??

MANY.

Here is the deal: IT'S OKAY THAT YOU DID NOT DO SOMETHING.

Unless you signed a contract with yourself or others: most goals are and should be flexible. Given the fact that life is chaotic and changes.

It's okay that you did not do something. However it's the "BUT" that is taking you further from your goal.

Instead, you could say: "I didn't____AND, that's okay. Tomorrow is a new day."

You aren't bashing and making false plans with yourself. You're allowing yourself to be human (and not be

the superman/woman you wish to be.)

AND THAT'S OKAY!

It's okay to not immediately remedy the situation. It's okay to not do something.

You are human and you are not expected to have a perfect day each and every single day. You also do not need to publicly state what you did not do to others. The world will not stop spinning if you didn't work out...or if you didn't answer all your emails at work...or you didn't finish all the laundry. It may be inconvenient that you did not do these things...but at the end of the day, the world will keep spinning.

When you say that you did not do something and then add a "BUT" onto it, it's damaging to how you see yourself. You are making yourself a failure, when you are not.

You are human. And you won't get everything done every single day. AND that's okay. Tomorrow is a new day.

Miss Oakley

Feel free to Share, Comment, And Ask Questions!

On Twitter? Me too! https://twitter.com/MissOakley

Toxic Relationships Suck Us Of Our Energy: Ways to Create Boundaries & Build Your Support System

Dear Readers,

I wanted to talk to you today about your relationships with others.

We all have that friend/family member/co-worker that is super negative. About everything. Nothing ever seems to go right for this person. And every time we are around this person it zaps us of our energy. You never walk away from a conversation with them and say, "Hey, I'm super energized right now! I think I should go and do something worthwhile!" No, you want to eat a sandwich and take a nap afterwards.

After being around negative people you often feel drained. You could even feel depressed.

Another symptom of being around these types of individuals, is that you start feeling negative yourself. You're energy is sucked from you and your outlook on life has diminished. Their negative outlook, is now yours. This is not good. 

This blog is to tell you: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CONTINUE TO DO THIS TO YOURSELF.

You do not need to continue to engage with toxic individuals.

The first thing you need to do is to evaluate these negative relationships. What do you gain by being in them? How do they serve you?

If you find that you do not gain anything and that they do not serve you...take action to step away from these types of relationships.

In order to walk away, you will need to set personal boundaries. These are boundaries for YOU. Not the negative person. You need to decide what you will and will not put up with. Do not confuse boundaries for ultimatums. Boundaries are internal and personal. Ultimatums are threats and highly ineffective with toxic individuals.

Once you have set your own personal boundaries with this person(s), begin to look for ways to engage more in positive relationships that you already have.

Positive relationships are individuals who energize and support us. They are people that "get" us.

If you have found that you do not have many positive relationships, then go seek them out and start building a better support system. It will take effort or your part to get out there. This effort will be worth it in the end.

Positive people are everywhere. The problem is that negative people are often more needy and have taken up all of your time. 

Note: you may have to go outside of your friends, family, and co-workers to find this type of support. The best way to find it is by being involved in the things that make you happy.

Note #2: You may have to have different positive support people for different areas of your life.

The positive support person that you may have at work, may not be the same person you have to support you in your fitness goals.

It's okay to seek out  new relationships. Relationships do not have to come to us, we can go and find them. It's often necessary.

Give yourself permission to be supported by positive people. Once you are more supported in a positive way, you will no longer allow yourself to get sucked into your former negative relationships. Finding positive support may take some effort on your part. So, go out and find that support. You are worth it. Life it too short to have your energy sucked dry by toxic relationships.

Life throws a lot of things your way, it's up to you to create boundaries with negative individuals, and build up your own positive support system.

Miss Oakley

Feel free to ask questions, comment, and share!

On twitter?? Me too!! https://twitter.com/MissOakley

Advocating for Others: The Other Side of the Story

Dear Readers,

I get really fired up for employment. The reasons are many. But the fact remains: Careers are important.

Careers and jobs give us a sense of purpose and an identity.

For some, a job gives a reason to wake up in the morning.

Think about it...Each time you meet a new person, their first questions is: "What do you do?"

What do I do?? My job is: Jobs.

I'm a Job Developer and a Career Coach. I'm also a Graduate Student in school to become a Rehabilitation Counselor- with a focus on Vocational Rehabilitation.

In short, I have made the decision to focus my career on: Careers.

I have always been passionate about employment. I myself have been working since the age of 12. In the last couple of years I found myself un-employed. And was un-employed for almost a year and a half. In that time, I learned a lot about myself. At the time, I did not understand why. I now know why: I needed this to happen.

I'm a firm believer in the fact that we learn from every stumble in life. I needed to understand the sense of job loss and therefore the loss of my identity. I needed to feel the deep depression and helplessness that goes along with losing a job. I needed to struggle. I needed to learn. Losing my job and being unemployed myself has caused me to become more empathetic to the situation of my clients.

Some of the clients I work with are employed. They are just either under-employed, or not working in fields that offer a long term career outlook. Other clients I work with are not employed at all, and either have never been employed, or have not been employed for quite some time.

All of the clients I work with are not living up to their career potential. And because all of them are "Most Significantly Disabled" usually, by the time they come to me: I am their last shot. Everyone is out of ideas. Society has given up on them entirely.

I believe that I needed to myself be unemployed to understand just what my clients go through. So although it did not make sense at the time...it now does.

All of my clients have a disability and or a mental illness that is considered "Most Significant." It is my job to assist my clients in all aspects of their career search. And I get really excited for employment. Especially employment of individuals with various barriers. Why? BECAUSE I HAVE TO. I'm their last shot and they often have no one else in their corner. If I'm not excited...Why should they be?!

Therefore, I get really excited  for jobs. My excitement is on another level. 

Why?? Because what is good for individuals with disabilities and or mental illness...Is good for society as a whole. The more individuals work, the more they become self-reliant and independent. Their symptoms lesson in the right employment environment. They start to see their potential. They want to work more. They tell their friends and family members that also may have a disability and or mental illness...then they too want to work. It begins a positive chain reaction. It's good for my clients and it's good for society as a whole. Everyone wins when individuals with mental illness and or disabilities are competitively employed.

The individuals that I work with are those that are considered "Most Significantly Disabled."

They are individuals that have:

• A physical barrier that limits employment..
• A mental illness that creates a barrier to employment.
• A transportation barrier such as: not having a license, not living on a bus route, or having a license but not the means to have their own vehicle or access to a vehicle.
• An educational barrier such as: having not graduated from high school or currently working on a GED.
• A work history barrier such as: Not having any work history, Being out of the workforce for a period of time, having been employed in a field that is no longer exists.
• A housing barrier such as: living in transitional housing (the YMCA), living in unsafe housing, or living in temporary housing (friend or relative.)
• A communication barrier such as: being non-verbal, being deaf, or not having access to a phone or the internet.
• A self-care barrier such as: not having access to a shower, not having the physical means to proper self care.
• A support system barrier such as: not having caring friends or family or anyone that can talk to regarding life.
• A community barrier: being a sex offender, having a criminal record, being on the child abuse or adult abuse registries. 
• And these are just the personal barriers. These are not accounting for the societal barriers of what employers think of individuals with disabilities and mental illness. This does not account for how they have been treated because of their disability. 

Not all of the clients I work with have ALL of these barriers. Some may have a couple.. Some may have all of these plus some that were not listed.

Some, but not all, of the clients I work with are living on SSI or SSDI. And or Food Stamps. And or reduced housing. And or Medicaid.

I guess this is what the general public calls "Welfare." I guess if you consider living off of $681 dollars a month being "well" and "fair."

My job is to help these clients obtain jobs. It is my job to: help the client search, apply, interview, and maintain jobs. It is also my job to open doors to employers being willing to want to hire someone with the above stated barriers to employment.

My role is to coach the client on what it means to have meaningful employment. To look at the long-term picture. To convince them that they are better off in the long run not to live "off the system" but to work and earn a living.

The hardest part of my job is not the client. Even with all of their barriers to employment.

The hardest part of my job is: Society...How society looks at and treats those with disabilities and mental illness. How employers look and think about individuals with mental illness and disability.

By the time I enter the client's life...They have been treated like they are sub-human. I have met pets that have been treated better by society than some of the clients I work with.

It's heartbreaking.

At the same time, it is also very rewarding.

The other day I dropped a client off after walking into multiple employers...having them look at her...and basically say there was NO WAY they would EVER hire her...For her to say to me: "Thank you so much for helping me. I don't know what I would do without you. I'd be lost. You're the only person who cares."

Wow.

And I am just doing my job. Yes, I do care. But for this client...I'm the only one.

My job is hard. But it's worth it. I believe in it.

I believe in the system helping someone until they find the strength and courage to help themselves.

Does it always work out like that? No. But it does some of the time. For some individuals, finding the right job restores their sense of purpose and gives them a reason to go on.

And sadly, what the general public sees/hears are all the stories of how the system does not work. The media only sensationalized the bad stories. For every bad story you hear, there are 100's and even 1,000's of success stories that are never shared.

I see how it does work. I see those successes.

It's my job to stay optimistic and to be hopeful. I have to be hopeful in order to encourage and motivate my clients. Because often times, I am their only support system. And I'm not giving up on them. 

A lot of times society has given up on my clients. And they have given up on themselves.

Me? I'm not giving up. I won't give up. I will keep getting up every day and try to break down barriers. Both actual barriers and attitudinal barriers. This is my goal in life: To change how people think of individuals with disabilities and mental illness.

I will advocate for those that cannot for themselves until I can no longer do so. Until I myself have a disability...Because if we are fortunate to live long enough, ALL of us will acquire a disability. And then my hope is that someone will then advocate for me.

This is me advocating. 

Miss Oakley

Follow me on twitter @MissOakley

Explore

Dear Readers,

The Dalai Lama once said:
"Once a year, go somewhere you've never been before."

We often go where we feel the most comfortable. Why? Because it's COMFORTABLE. Everyone likes comfort. That's probably why they make sweat pants out of cotton and not cactus.

However, if we stay where we are comfortable then we never become uncomfortable.

It is within our discomfort that we learn about ourselves, our response to the world, and reflect on that discomfort. In short, discomfort is where we learn.

This post is not to tell you to take some tropical vacation once a year. But rather, to get outside your zone of comfort and try something new.

Explore. 

Do something different. 

Learn something new.

You can do this in many many ways. The possibilities are literally endless.

My challenge to you is to get outside of what you know. Do something different. Be bold.

In order to do something you haven't experienced, you need to go into it with an open mind. Also, it helps drop your ego at the door. It's okay not to know something. And it's okay to ask for help.

It's also okay to let things get weird and for it to be uncomfortable. That's when we learn and grow as humans. That's what sets us apart from every other mammal on earth.

Uncomfortable is just that: Uncomfortable. But it's bearable and it's short-lived. Embrace it. Allow yourself to not know what you are doing and be alright with trying/doing/going somewhere you have never been before.

Self Disclosure: I started to explore years ago. I did this by saying "Yes" to everything I was invited to. I have learned a lot by doing this and have made new friends while doing so. Now, doing new things and exploring is my absolute favorite hobby. Things that I enjoy today, are things that I tried on a whim years ago.

Get out there. Try something new. Travel to different places. Accept an invitation to an event you would not normally attend. Do something to surprise yourself.

**Note: If the thought of doing something out of the ordinary terrifies you...try it on a smaller scale. Take a new way home from work. Buy a different flavor of lip balm. I'm not asking you to backpack in the desert, just to try new things and see if you learn something about yourself/the world.

Be you. Be bold. Life is short, get out and explore. 
(Even if your version of exploration means eating an orange instead of an apple.)

Miss Oakley

Questions? Comments? Want to share this post? Go ahead! It will literally make my day!

Celebrate Small Successes

Dear Readers,

We all have goals. Big ones, small ones...Even if your goal is to "make it through today." That is still a goal.

This post is here to inform you that you should CELEBRATE success that honor your goals.

Reward yourself when you have been working hard on your plan.

The reward should align WITH your plan. Meaning, the reward should move you TOWARDS, not away from your goal.

For example, If your goal is fitness: A good reward would be to buy new sneakers or hit up a class that you have been wanting to try. (A bad reward would be to eat an entire cake after a workout or order pizza straight from the gym.)

If your goal is to get a promotion: Celebrate finishing a big project. Go to a networking event. Take a class. Do something that moves you forward towards your promotion.

The reason that celebrating success is so important is that: one success leads to future success.

When you celebrate a success, you are recognizing and honoring that step in the overall journey to reach your goal. When you see that you are actually moving forward with your goals, things start to become easier.

You start losing weight. You get that promotion. You clean that bathroom that you have been putting off for a while...

Whatever your goal is, celebrate the steps that it takes to get you the desired end result. Remember: the celebration needs to be in line with your goal AND be a positive one. Celebration should never take you further away from your goal...that isn't celebration, that's called sabotage.

So go ahead, celebrate success. Even the small ones. It's all the small wins that lead up to the championship game in life. Celebrate those wins. You deserve it.

You owe it to yourself to celebrate you. When you honor your forward movement, it will propel you into successfully achieving your goals.

Miss Oakley

Please feel free to share, comment, and ask questions.
On twitter? So am I! https://twitter.com/MissOakley

Ways to Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones

Dear Readers,

Negativity is everywhere. Examples: The media. It's what our friends come to us to discuss. And most destructively, it is in our own heads.

All this negativity creates more negativity. In the counseling world we all this a "Negative Feedback Loop." An example of a negative feedback loop would be: You telling someone that you feel sad or depressed. The other person in turn says "stop feeling sad/depressed." This results in you feeling MORE sad/depressed. One negative thought, created another, which in turn, escalated the already negative situation.

We also do this to ourselves. We get upset about something. And then we get more upset that we even ARE upset. This creates more anger and more general negativity about a situation.

I call these negative thoughts and feelings around our thoughts: "Stinkin Thinkin."

The good thing about Stinkin Thinkin is that we are in charge of our own thoughts, and  therefore, can work to create ways to diminish those negative feedback loops.

Here are a couple strategies to stop negative thinking:

Next time your friend or family member says they are sad/depressed...stop yourself from telling them not to be sad/depressed. If it was that easy, they would have stopped long ago. Instead, ask them how you can support them in their recovery of being sad/depressed. They may just need something as simple as a sympathetic ear to listen. Or, ask them to remember a time when they weren't sad or depressed and see what circumstances surrounded that positive experience. Then help them find those "bright spots" in their daily lives...or occasions where they are not sad or depressed. Support them in finding those small things that they do find enjoyable. NOTE: only support things that are positive. For example, if binge drinking or eating 3 pizzas make them happy...this is counterproductive and should not be supported. But, if exercising, walking their dog, or playing with their children are their bright spots in their day...then support those things.

If you personally are experiencing "Stinkin Thinkin" then file away your negative thoughts: IN THE TRASH CAN. Honor your self-destructive thoughts by writing them down, and then ceremoniously throw them away. When you toss away that negative thought, also toss away your emotions and feelings to that thought. It is important to honor those thoughts rather than just ignoring them. If you ignore something, it will show it's way back to you in one way or another. Writing down your thought validates what you are feeling. This is the first step in changing your thought process. If you notice that you continually write down similar negative thoughts, then the next step is to make a plan to do something about those thoughts. You can never change the way you think without conscious action in order to change your thought process. Otherwise you will spend years of your life believing your own negative thoughts.

Another thing you can do is start replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. This can be done by keeping a gratitude journal or by making notes in your phone of the small things in your day that made you happy. Even on the worst days, there is something positive. Otherwise, you would not continue going on. Start looking for those bright areas in your life. This could be done at night when you start to worry about your "To Do" list for the next day. Instead of worrying, write down a couple things that made you smile over the day. You will sleep easier when you focus on the good, and not on what you need to get done. Tomorrow will come regardless of whether or not you spend time worrying before you go to bed. Why not spend that time reviewing your bright spots in the day?

Be kind to yourself. You are the only you, you have.

Miss Oakley

If you are on twitter...I share health/wellness and counseling/motivational info as I come across it at: https://twitter.com/MissOakley

Please feel free to comment, share, and ask questions!

Let's Tumble!

Dear Readers,

I have decided to start posting more on Tumblr and less on this blog. Please head over to: http://missoakley.tumblr.com/ to check out my Tumblr site!


Miss Oakley

A Little Consideration, Makes All The Difference

Dear Readers,

When you help someone else, you often help yourself. It is through our work, that we often find ourselves. 

I ran across this quote by Eeyore and wanted to share:

 A little Consideration, a little Thought for Others, makes all the difference. 

If you can't tie a balloon to your own tail, to lift yourself up: Find a friend, family member, or open minded stranger that will do so for you. On the flip side, if you see someone that could use a little pick up...tie a balloon to their tail. It only takes a minute and could mean the world to that other person. 

Do we all need to drive around with a carload of balloons and string? No. But, hey, if  you wanted to and that made you happy: then go for it.

My thought with this quote is that when you start feeling bad about things and ruminating on your problems...Why don't you turn that situation into one where you can help someone else out? You can stop yourself from spirning into what I call "Stinkin Thinkin" by just helping another person. In the end, your problems may not seems so big after all.

Sharing is Caring,
Miss Oakley

Just Keep Going

Dear Readers,

A dear friend has requested that I blog something today. So, here I am blogging. She was looking for some motivation for the month of February. And really, I think we all are. February is rough. Living in the Midwest as I do, it is the last month of winter. I've never really met anyone that is absolutely in love with the month of February. So, I'm writing today to motivate us all to get in love with February. I think February is a good time to re-evaluate where we are at with our New Year's Resolutions. For many of us, those resolutions are long forgotten. And you know what? THAT IS FINE.

I'm not going to pressure you, and ask you for your reasons as to why you haven't kept up with whatever it is that you resolved to do. I'm even going to go as far as to say that it's ok that you haven't kept up with them.

Resistance to change is part of the process. And even if you haven't kept after whatever you said it was that you were going to change about yourself this year...It is fine.

If your goal is important to you, you will find it within yourself to renew your passion and re-focus your energy on that goal.

If now in February, you have realized that your goal does not really fit in with your life, that is fine as well. You can always find another goal. Or revise your original goal that more aligns with your life as it is now.

And if you've kept after your resolution...Awesome. Just keep going. Keep doing whatever it is that you have been doing.

My point with this post is not to make you feel upset or bad about what you haven't done. My guess is, you already feel bad about it. And don't need me on your case.

All I want to say is that you have it within yourself to keep going after your goal. Even if you haven't kept up with it. You can start now. Today.

Resolutions can be made whenever. They don't have to be made January 1st. They can be made throughout the year, at any given time. Even in February.

You can make a resolution today. Or tomorrow. But, might I suggest today. Because there will always be a tomorrow, and a way to push back your goal. Honor your goal. Keep going. And do something about it today.

You can do it. Just keep going. Take it a day at a time. Personally, I take my days an hour at a time. That way I get 24 chances for success. If one hour is bad, there will always be another. Don't let one bad hour, day, or month run your life. You get 24 chances a day. One of those is bound to be good. Go with it. Go with what is good in your life. And then just keep going. You have this.

Cheers to February!

Ways to Fit In Fitness Into Our Lives

Dear Readers,

Today, I wanted to write a little something about fitness. This past week I have talked about the importance of having a plan in order to reach our goals.

Last year, I decided that fitness, and overall wellness, needed to become more of a priority in my life. And therefore, I put a plan in place in order to achieve my goal.

I can now say that my wish of being healthy/well has successfully gone from a wish, to goal, and is now a lifestyle in which I choose to live.

It has been a long road to get to the point where I workout and eat healthy every week. But now that it is a part of who I am, I wanted to share what I've done to get myself to this point. This past week, I celebrated my 33rd straight week in the gym. It did not just happen over night. This was many years in the making. I had to commit to a goal and put a plan in place in order to get to where I am today. I have tried many, MANY ways to help get myself to this point.

The one thing that I have found through years and years of personal research of getting healthy is that movement of any kind is better than no movement at all. The second thing that I have learned is that fitness needs to fit into my schedule. So, the first place I started looking for ways to incorporate activity was within the things that I was already doing: The tasks that come along with being an adult and living life.

My goal with this post is to point out some non-traditional ways that I have incorporated exercise/activity/movement into my day. Life sometimes got in the way of my activity, and I found myself with no time left in the day to workout. This lead me to make changes within my life so that I was incorporating activity in the things that I was already doing. So I wanted to share some ways I've incorporated fitness into my often hectic life. When I say fitness, I am not necessarily talking about the gym. Any type of movement is beneficial to our overall health, wellness, and level of happiness. The following suggestions are all things that I have done without a gym membership.

Ways I've Fit Fitness Into My Life:

Walking up the stairs instead of using the elevator. Or walking down stairs instead of using the elevator.  This is something I started doing this in college and have never looked back. In college, I lived on the 9th floor. And one day after waiting a long time for the elevator, I decided it would probably be faster just to walk up the stairs. And I was right. I now take the stairs every opportunity I have. If stairs are an option, I always take them. And 100% of the time, I feel glad that I did. Just the simple act of taking the stairs, increased my desire to look for more ways to incorporate fitness into my day. So living on the 9th floor in college, and one day taking the stairs years and years ago...set off something in me. My hope is that the next time you are given the opportunity to take the stairs (instead of the elevator/escalator) that you do so. I hope that you too are glad you did and start looking for additional ways to fit in fitness into your life.

Parking a little further from my destination is another way that I have fit activity into my life. Years ago, when I was Pharmaceutical Representative and traveled a lot for my job I started doing it as a way to get some exercise after driving for a while. Now, I do it everywhere. It also has a side benefit of other cars not being near yours and therefore, not being able to ding up your doors. (And I drive an Altima so I like to keep that thing looking fresh.) Now, every time I go into a store, I always park a ways back. Next time the weather is nice and you have the opportunity to park a little further than normal...I challenge you to do so.

Using a basket instead of a cart at the store is another way that I have fit some activity in my busy life. Obviously,  you'd do this for small loads. For larger purchases, please use the cart. My point is that baskets are something that are available at most stores and something that I had for years, overlooked. Once I started using baskets while shopping, it changed shopping forever. Shopping went from being a necessary task...to an opportunity for fitness. Plus, baskets are fun. It's even more fun if you skip with said basket. But then you get some looks. Alright, scratch the skipping. Unless you want looks. If you're looking for looks: skip away. Using the small baskets are a way to incorporate some arm exercise while you are shopping. Just remember to switch arms half-way through. Next time you shop, consider a basket instead of cart. And curl away while you shop. Instant fitness.

Standing up doing one activity that you would normally do sitting down is another simple way to fit in fitness. I used to do my makeup sitting down. No more. I now stand up and burn calories. For bonus points, I've also stood up to read at home. Sometimes when no one is home I just walk around reading a book. This is SUPER effective at the gym with weights as well. I used to sit down and use machines a lot. Now, I do  most of my workout standing up and with free weights. Turns out, it works your core more AND you burn more calories in less time. Which, I'm a fan of. So stand up. Stand up once a day for an activity you normally do sitting down. You'll burn extra calories without any extra effort. It's a win win all around. Next time you find yourself sitting down...ask yourself: "Could I do this same thing while standing up?" If the answer is "Yes", then go for it.

If you aren't in the mood to go the gym, just do SOMETHING. Anything, it doesn't matter. As long as you are moving. It could be a short walk after dinner or a load of laundry that you were going to skip until the next day. Take your dogs on an extra walk you wouldn't normally go on. Take the kids to the park. Whatever, just move it. Movement of any kind is beneficial. So if you decide to skip a day at the gym, that's fine. Go for a walk instead. Hand wash your car. Clean out that closet that you've been meaning to do for months. Just be active and move your body. Activity of any kind is better for you than just sitting around on the couch. And if you are on the couch...there is no one stopping you from doing lunges to and from the bathroom/kitchen on commercial breaks. If TV is your activity of choice, fine. Fit in fitness on commercial breaks.

Cleaning your house is another way you can fit in fitness. Cleaning is something that you already have to do. So why not incorporate some additional exercise?? When I clean, I incorporate squats and lunges in. There's nothing like cleaning your toilet, doing 10 squats, and lunging into the kitchen to get cleaning supplies. I figure I'm getting dirty anyway, so I might as well get some exercise in. So next time you clean, do a couple squats in between tasks. Add in some jumping jacks. You're getting dirty and sweaty anyway, so you might as well go for it. Cleaning is probably the easiest way to burn some calories while fitting in fitness. So next time you go for your broom, do so lunges beforehand. You're getting dirty anyway so why not??

Gardening, shoveling, yard work, and tasks outdoors are other ways I've fit in fitness into my life. If you own a home, these are things that need to be done anyway. And if you don't own a home...I'm sure you know someone that does...and that someone may appreciate a lending hand. So next time it snows, go shovel your driveway. If you don't have a driveway, shovel the driveway of an elderly person in your life. A shovel costs $5, and for five dollars, you can get in a killer workout by shoveling. If you live somewhere that it doesn't snow...you can always do yard work. And again, if you don't have a yard, volunteer to help someone that does. I love working outside and again, my thought is that if you're getting dirty anyway, you might as well fit in some fitness while you're at it.

My point in this post is that fitness CAN be fit into your busy life. Often times, you just need to look for ways to increase the level of activity in the things that you are already doing. You already have to clean. So why not add in some lunges while you sweep your floor?? You already have to go to the store, so why not park a little further, take the stairs, and use a basket?? 

My hope is that you will start making some small changes and those changes will increase your desire to look for even more ways to fit in fitness into your busy life. It's ok if you are not doing any of the above mentioned things. However, I a just asking that you try. You don't have to go to a gym to start becoming active. Start with what you are already doing.

A body in motion tends to stay in motion.  Once you start moving your body, it helps you keep moving.  Changing the smallest of habits can lead to us on a path to making lifestyle changes. 

Next week I will be talking more about goals, health, and ways to become more positive in our lives. My goal is to help motivate and encourage others on their paths to becoming the best version of themselves.

Thanks for reading,
Miss Oakley

If you have a goal and would like to discuss how to get to where you want to be...Please just reach out to me.

Invest in You

Make An Appointment: With Yourself

Plans Help Turn Wishes Into Goals

How to Make, Keep, and Achieve a Goal: Keeping Your New Year's Resolution
Technology Can Help You Stick With Your Goals

My "To Done" List

My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be

**Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.
**As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.
** Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

Technology Can Help You Stick With Your Goals

Dear Readers,

This week I have been blogging about how to make and keep goals: Include your New Year's Resolutions. In spirit of what I have been talking about this week, I wanted to share some applications that can assist you with keeping track of those goals.

Let this be said: Technology is neat. I love it. It is something that is near and dear to my heart. And therefore, I would be remiss if I talked about goals and did not point out ways that technology can help you on your path to achieving your dreams.

Here is a list of applications that can be useful for the following:

• Setting Goals: Stikk.com, Achievr, Habitforge
• Journaling: Day One, Diaro
• Organizing/Managing Time: Fantastical, Clear, Wunderlist, 30/30
• Fitness: P90X, Yoga Studio, My Fitness Pal, Fitocracy, Run Keeper, Gym Pact
• Healthy Eating: Lose It!, Fooducate
• Quitting Smoking: My Last Cigarette, Quitnet, Quit Smoking
• Budgeting: Mint, Back in Black

Just google any of the above listed applications. And let technology assist you with honoring your goals.

I myself have used: Fooducate, My Fitness Pal, and Mint. I even went so far as to blog about my new found love of of the app Gym Pact. To read about Gym Pact: Click Here.

They apps listed above are all are fantastic and FREE. Just google them to learn more.

**Sources: imore.com, examiner.com, ABC News, Old Town Alexandria Patch, and the American Counseling Association e-news letter.

Other Related Posts:

Make An Appointment: With Yourself

Plans Help Turn Wishes Into Goals

How to Make, Keep, and Achieve a Goal: Keeping Your New Year's Resolution

Invest in You

My "To Done" List

My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be

If you have a goal and would like to discuss how to get to where you want to be...Please just reach out to me.

Cheers to a New Year and to Setting and Achieving our Goals,
Miss Oakley

**Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.
**As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.
** Follow my twitter account @MissOakley
**Emails can be sent to: observationsbymissoakley@gmail.com

Make An Appointment: With Yourself

Dear Readers,

This week I have been talking about the importance of making goals and creating action plans.

One way I personally have held myself accountable is by setting an appointment: With myself.

I have several part time jobs and attend graduate school part time as well. In order to make sure that I have time to get my gym workouts in: I have started to schedule appointments with myself. I schedule these self-appointments as if I was meeting a client. Only, I am meeting myself. And honoring my goal.

This has helped me look at my week ahead and look for areas of (workout) opportunities. When I have some free time, I set an appointment. With me.

This is something that I have been doing for several months and it has been working. And therefore, I am sharing my strategy with you.

Ways you can schedule time for yourself:
Schedule an appointment with yourself in your planner.
Write your goal on your daily To Do list.
Put your goal on a post it note and place it somewhere where you will see it every day.
Or set an alarm on your phone for yourself.

Over the years, I have done all of the above strategies for various goals. The main thing is that you find your own personal method that works.

Blogging until the internet says I can't,
Miss Oakley

Plans Help Turn Wishes Into Goals

Dear Readers,

Yesterday, I talked about goal setting, the importance of keeping yourself accountable, and how your plan must always be re-evaluated. To read yesterday's blog: Click here.

Today, I wanted to talk a little bit more on the importance of having a plan.

Plans are what turn our wishes into goals. And goals are what help us achieve our dreams.

In the world of therapy/counseling, practitioners refer to goal-setting as a "Treatment Plan."

A treatment plan starts with a main goal. It then outlines the steps necessary to achieve that goal. In addition, it defines the responsible parties for each task. Finally, it outlines dates that each task should completed. All great treatment plans are flexible, and change based on the needs of the client. That is, they are constantly evaluated to make sure that they are consistent with the client's needs.

It sounds simple, and that is because it is. I think sometimes we make things harder than they need to be. And the reason is that: Life is hard. And life being hard, makes everything else hard. Including our goals.

The likelihood of goals becoming realized, increases when a person commits to doing something each day to honor their main goal.

What are you doing each day to honor your goal? If you are not doing anything, start. Carve out five minutes a day to work on your goal. Work up to the point where you are honoring that goal at least 15 minutes a day. 15 minutes a day is just 1% of your entire day. Your goal is worth 1% of your time. If not, then it is not a goal of yours...it is just a wish.

Wishes are wonderful. They make us dream of things to come. However, wishes can only become goals when plans are attached to them and followed through with.

Make your wish become a reality. By creating a plan. Having a plan, IS the plan.

If you have a wish that you need help turning into a goal, please let me know. I'm here to help. My goal is to help while motivate others with this blog.

Cheers to a New Year and Turning our Wishes into Goals,
Miss Oakley

Other Related Posts:
Invest in You
My "To Done" List
My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be

**Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.
**As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.
** Follow my twitter account @MissOakley
**Emails can be sent to: observationsbymissoakley@gmail.com

How to Make, Keep, and Achieve a Goal: Keeping Your New Year's Resolution

Dear Readers,

Goals are good. Evidence: Everything.

I heart goals.

We get to where we want to be in life by setting goals and sticking with them.

Today is Monday, and a week after the New Year. I thought it would be a great time to discuss the best ways to keep our New Year's Resolution's.

Although I am talking about a New Year's Resolution...this blog is really for anyone that has ever made a goal for themselves.

Having a goal is the first step to making a change in your life. However, often times we are vague with our goals and they lack a clear plan. Lacking a clear plan for our goals, cause them to be far off and not within our grasp. We have the best intentions when we create goals for ourselves. The thought process that goes into goal creation is a clear indication that we have realized that there needs to be a change in our life. Where we fall short most of the time, is putting together a small, achievable, and measure plan to achieve our goals.

A New Year's Resolution is the epitome of the goal creation process. It is also the best example that I can think of to share with you on how goals are thoughtfully created, however, not followed through with. The reason we do not follow through, is not because we do not wish to achieve something. It is because we lack a clear plan.

How many years have you come up with a well intentioned New Year's Resolution? Only for life to get in the way, and therefore, your goal to be put on the back burner?  It doesn't even have to be a New Year's Resolution...How many times have you said: "I'm going to start doing _____." Or, I'm going to change ______ about myself."

I don't know about you...But for me, this has happened often. So many times in fact, that a couple of years ago, I stopped making New Year's Resolutions all together.

This year, I decided to go back to making Resolutions. Mine being: to write more. So here I am, writing more. What you are reading, is my resolution. This blog makes me accountable. (Which will be discussed later.)

With this blog post, my goal is to set the story straight: Goals can work you for. The secret to goal setting is to create a plan that includes STEPS to reach those goals. In addition to steps, you need to make yourself ACCOUNTABLE. The final key to a successful goal is: EVALUATION of that goal.

It is that simple. And it works. I can tell you it works, because I've seen it work. And I'm doing it myself. And it's working.

STEPS Defined:
Steps help break down your goal. For example: If your New Year's Resolution is to workout more: What does that even mean? What does working out "more" mean? Your goal needs to be defined. You could set your workout goal to something like: every other day, X times a week, X times a month, etc.

If your New Year's Resolution was to be be a better: friend/sister/brother/aunt/co-worker/spouse/ect...What does that really mean? What does being "better" mean? You could break being "better" down. Maybe that means you call 2 people a week on the phone, just to talk. Or you set a monthly friend/spouse date. Or, you write a hand written letter to an aging grandparent each week.

If your New Year's Resolution was to get a better job/advance in your career...You need to state what that really means to you. If you want a better job, you are going to have to go after it. Getting a better job does not just happen. You need to network, get yourself out there. You could re-state your goal and say that you are going to network and reach out to 2 different people a week. Or apply at two different jobs a week. Or you could say that you are going to spend 15 minutes a day searching for jobs. Break that large goal of "A Better Career" into something that is more bite-size and achievable. 15 minutes a day is do-able. A goal of a life changing career...Not so doable on a daily basis.

What I'm really saying here is that you need to make your goals SMALLER. I know that sounds silly, but smaller and more achievable goals really do work better in the long run.

Saying you are going to workout "more", or be a "better" friend/spouse/etc , or have a more rewarding career is rather vague. And not really measurable. Putting numbers, or something that is more quantifiable is the easiest way to break down a large goal.

One way I break large, lofty goals down is to the daily-doable basis. What can I do once a day, to get to my goal? If you focus on doing just one thing a day that leads you towards your end goal...it does not seem that overwhelming.

A good way to set your priorities is to ask yourself: "Is what I'm doing on a daily basis moving me towards my goal?" If the answer is no, you need to re-evaluate your daily habits.

You may know the story of the comedian Jerry Seinfeld. When he was coming up in the comedy world, he set the goal of writing one joke a day. Each day that he wrote a joke, he put an "X" on the calendar. Instead of focusing on being "The World's Best Comedian", he focused on not breaking the chain of "X's" on his calendar. And it worked. He's one of the most successful comedians of all time.

My point being: do one thing each day that aligns with your overall goal for yourself. Focus on doing that one thing a day. Not on the huge, overwhelming ultimate goals. If you focus on the smaller, and more achievable goal...Before you know it, you will be well on your way to reaching your ultimate goal. Soon the small, daily-doable tasks, have turned into habits. And those habits have created change. And change is what is needed in order to achieve goals.

ACCOUNTABILITY Defined:
Making yourself accountable is also important. Accountability is what keeps us going after our goal, even when life becomes hard. Now, do you have to shout your goal from the rooftops?? No. But, you need to tell someone. Even if that someone is yourself. I know it sounds silly, but having a real and open conversation with yourself sometimes is what stands between you and successfully achieving your goal. I am speaking about this from self experience. I know for me, I am what stands in between either my success or my failure. No one else.

For other people, it works best if they tell another person. Or a group of people about their goal. Sometimes it is not the accountability that is what is important. Sometimes, it is the SUPPORT SYSTEM that is the result of the accountability that counts. Having other people that are in your corner generally helps. Knowing you have a support system that is there for you, will help keep you moving towards your goal.

EVALUATION Defined:
Goals need to be re-examined from time to time. Often times, they may need to re-adjusted to fit with where your life is at now. It is good to re-examine your goal and to adjust your plans as necessary. Sometimes our life changes. And with that change, should come a re-adjustment of the steps in order to reach our goals. There are times that our lives change so much, that our entire goals need to changed in order to honor the change that is occurring in our lives.

Evaluations of our actions is often the best indicator of whether or not we are on track to meet our goal. Essentially, what we are doing on a daily basis is aligned with our larger goal. It is the things that we do each day, that get us to where we want to be.

RESISTANCE TO CHANGE MAY OCCUR:
It is important to note that with goals, sometimes comes change...and with Change, often comes resistance. Resistance can be in many forms. Often it happens in the form of self-sabotage. Self-sabotage is anything that you personally do that keeps you from achieving your goal. I will blog more about sabotage later. The important thing to note, is that resistance to change is natural. And when it happens, embrace that resistance. It means, that change is occurring.

MY GOAL/RESOLUTION Defined:
My overall life-goal is to help others. I am doing this by going grad school to become a Counselor. On a smaller scale, I have set a goal for 2013: On a daily basis I have decided to write and share my writings with others. Blogging daily is breaking down a larger goal to smaller, achievable pieces. I take time out of every day to write. Even if it is just for 15 minutes. I turn that writing into a blog. I have shared my overall vision with my friends and family. Also, I've shared in on many social media platforms. By me sharing my goal with others (and being honest with myself), I have made myself accountable. Evaluation is something that I plan on doing from time to time. I know it will become harder to keep up writing daily. Life will get in the way. I will just take it day by day. Writing for 15 minutes a day, is not overwhelming. And when life gets overwhelming, I will just tell myself that I can always take 15 minutes to write. The small daily tasks of writing each day will turn into a habit. The habit formation is what is needed for real change to happen. Once change occurs, I will naturally blog once a day. This will make NOT blogging once a day seem un-natural eventually. Eventually, I will reach my goal of blogging and writing every day. The goal I have for 2013, aligns with my overall goal of: helping others.

Thank you for reading. Little do you know, that by you reading my blog, it is helping me with my overall goal. So, thank you. Thank you for keeping me accountable. Thank you for all the emails, tweets, comments, follows, shares, texts, messages, and phone calls regarding this blog. You keep me accountable. And accountability is all part of the goal-achievement process.

If you have a goal and would like to discuss breaking it down into smaller pieces...I'd love to assist you. Please just reach out to me. I love, no I LIVE, to help others. Reaching out to me would not be a burden. If fact, it probably would make my day.

Cheers to a New Year and to Setting and Achieving our Goals,
Miss Oakley

Other Related Posts:
Invest in You
My "To Done" List
My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be

**Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.
**As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.
** Follow my twitter account @MissOakley
**Emails can be sent to: observationsbymissoakley@gmail.com

Laughter: An Infographic

Dear Readers,

This weekend, make some time to laugh. Find something fun/funny to laugh at. I'm a firm believer in laughter being the best medicine. Evidence: This infographic.

Here's what laughter can do for your body:

Not only is laughter good for you: It's FUN.

So go ahead, laugh. Find something funny.When I feel a case of the sads coming on, I usually go to one of my old and trusted friends: YouTube. Just today, I found this gem:

So, I challenge you to laugh today. NO. I challenge you to laugh MULTIPLE times today. Go ahead, Laugh. Make your own day.

Also, I challenge you to read another one of my blogs today. If you don't find the blog post itself funny. Maybe you will find the fact that I intentionally write about these things, and post them on the internet...humorous.

Other Writings By Yours Truly:
The Amish Exist
Eggs are Delicious. Except After Their Expiration Date
I Haven't Bought Underpants Since 2005
Dogs, Babies, and Bears

Forever Posting, (Until the Internet Says I Can't)

Miss Oakley

**Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.

**As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.

**Follow me on Twitter @MissOakley 

**PS, If you're a fan of the blog you could become a "Follower" and have posts emailed to you.  It's a pretty elite and exclusive group of followers...so consider yourself lucky.  It's like winning the lottery...Except minus the money part.

Fitness Friday: Gym Pact.

Dear Readers,

It's Friday! TGIF! The start of the weekend!

On Fridays, after work, I hold a self-sponsored Happy Hour at the gym. I call it:
A HAPPY HOUR OF FITNESS.

Instead of drinking shots of booze, I take shots of amino acids. It's a good time and everyone that attends has a great time.

Workout Happy Hour is fun AND you don't wake up with a hangover the next day.  (Also, if you wanted to do a happy hour of fitness, there's no rule that says you can't do a regular happy hour afterwards.)

Lately, I've been trying to make fitness more of a priority in my life. It has been a lifestyle choice, and I fully embrace it. For the past 32 straight weeks, I have hit the gym/weights at least 4-6 times a week.

It's a new record for me. Never before in my life have I done any sort of physical activity for 32 weeks straight. I've always taken a break. Or found a reason to take one.

Throughout my life, I've always gone to the gym and have been in pretty good shape. I was even a former athlete. Not a GOOD athlete. But I was on teams. Lettered. Colleges called me and wanted me to join their athletic departments. Stuff like that. I'm not tooting my own horn. If I was, I'd say I was actually decent. But, I wasn't. Back in the day I "played" Basketball, and ran Cross Country and Track. But, I was never really good at any one of them. I just liked being part of a team and having something positive to do.

At any rate, in order to be strong enough to participate in sports: I've always lifted weights. But, I've also always lifted erratically. I'd lift for a couple of weeks, see some progress...and then stop. I'd take some time off and then realize I was getting out of shape, and then start back up again.

It was a vicious cycle.

And never in my life have I kept with it.

But oh, have the tides have turned.

My significant other said something to me about 8 months ago that changed the way that I thought about both myself and fitness overall.

He told me that he really admired how hard I work and study for school. But, that he couldn't understand why I didn't put the same amount of energy into my fitness regimen as I did with school or my career.

And of course I got mad at him for saying such a thing.

HOW DARE HE POINT OUT AN AREA OF WEAKNESS.

The fact of the matter was: He was right. Did this hurt my ego to admit? YES. Does this hurt to actually type this in a sentence for others to read and our mutual friends to also know that he was right? YES.

However, it's the truth.

He was right. I put so much energy into school and into my career. But I did not do the same in the gym.

I strongly believe that: ONCE YOU KNOW MORE. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO DO MORE.

And it was then that I knew more about myself. I knew that as far as fitness goes, I was not giving it all I had. I knew he was right. And knowing that, made me change my fitness goals. So sometime last April, I set a new goal for myself. I vowed to keep working out. And not stop when I saw results. I vowed to hit the gym no matter what, at least 4-6 times a week.

And you know what?? I kept after it. When life handed me lemons: I made lemonade. (Well, literally, I love lemonade and why wouldn't you if life was just HANDING them to you??) But figuratively, when I got busy and stressed...I headed to the gym and not the the bar or fridge like I previously was doing.

I made myself accountable. I started posting things on Facebook and Twitter. I started telling friends and family. I started to believe in myself. I took ownership over my level of fitness...just like I have with grad school and my career.

Eight months later, I am now reaping the rewards!

Rewards that have been reaped:

• I feel better overall.
• I have been able to get off of multiple medications. 
• I sleep better.
• My mood has improved.
• My energy levels have increased.
• I have actual visible muscles.
• I have started to become more productive. And not just in the gym. In all areas of my life.

I've also realized that I'm stronger (literally and figuratively) than I've ever been. I've been an athlete my whole life...Yet, I've never been in better shape. This is both: The oldest I've ever been....and also...the most in shape I've ever been. I feel more alive than I did when I was in High school.

So you get it right?? You get that this has been good for me?? Do I need to go on??

One more thing:
Not only has this been good for me physically and mentally. It now will be good for me financially.

"How can fitness be good for me financially (you ask)??"

With Gym Pact.

At Book Club, some friends and I were discussing the gym. (I had shown up to Book Club all sweaty after a workout...and this prompted our non-book-club discussion.) A girlfriend had been talking about this "Gym Pact" and so I asked her what it was all about.

Well, what is Gym Pact? It's amazing, is what it is. It's basically a program that PAYS YOU TO WORK OUT.

I'm serious.

Gym Pact is an application that you can download on your iPhone or Android cell phone. It allows you to check in a gyms, workout, and literally get paid for doing the workouts that you are already doing. Also, it keeps you accountable. It allows to to say how often a week you want to work out. You basically make a pact with yourself to workout X times a week. Then you set the dollar amount for how much you are willing to pay if you miss your workout goal. So, if your goal is to workout three times a week. And you workout three times a week. You get paid. To workout. But if your goal is to workout three times a week, and you only work out twice a week. Then you have to pay for your missed workout. It's genius! I'm a cheapskate, and trust me, I will NEVER miss a workout now. So therefore, I will be getting paid for the workouts that I'm already doing!

So if you are:

• Already working out and a fan of money.
• Or someone who is not working out and want a way to stay accountable.
• Or someone who has made a New Year's resolution to workout more...

Gym Pact is for you!

If you sign up on Gym Pact please use my referral code: barbeShann

Using this code will give us both $5 (after your first workout!) You can search for the application on your iPhone, Android, or sign up on the world wide web at: www.gym-pact.com 

I've come a long way on my fitness journey. To read more of previous tales of my athletic inspired pursuits  please read the blog posts listed below. Two things will happen if you read any/all of these posts. One, you will not be disappointed. Two, you will feel better about yourself.

Previous Tales of my Athletic Pursuits:
That One Time I Registered for a Marathon
Excerpt from my MySpace Profile Circa 2005, in which I talk about my "Extreme Athleticism"
Weight Training, White Jeans, and a Couch: A Tale of Muscles
Thought About Going for a Jog. Ate Cold Cuts Instead.
Can I Perform a Citizens Arrest at the Gym?
Invest in You

Always Sharing,

Miss Oakley

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