I wanted to talk to you today about your relationships with others.
We all have that friend/family member/co-worker that is super negative. About everything. Nothing ever seems to go right for this person. And every time we are around this person it zaps us of our energy. You never walk away from a conversation with them and say, "Hey, I'm super energized right now! I think I should go and do something worthwhile!" No, you want to eat a sandwich and take a nap afterwards.
After being around negative people you often feel drained. You could even feel depressed.
Another symptom of being around these types of individuals, is that you start feeling negative yourself. You're energy is sucked from you and your outlook on life has diminished. Their negative outlook, is now yours. This is not good.
This blog is to tell you: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO CONTINUE TO DO THIS TO YOURSELF.
You do not need to continue to engage with toxic individuals.
The first thing you need to do is to evaluate these negative relationships. What do you gain by being in them? How do they serve you?
If you find that you do not gain anything and that they do not serve you...take action to step away from these types of relationships.
In order to walk away, you will need to set personal boundaries. These are boundaries for YOU. Not the negative person. You need to decide what you will and will not put up with. Do not confuse boundaries for ultimatums. Boundaries are internal and personal. Ultimatums are threats and highly ineffective with toxic individuals.
Once you have set your own personal boundaries with this person(s), begin to look for ways to engage more in positive relationships that you already have.
Positive relationships are individuals who energize and support us. They are people that "get" us.
If you have found that you do not have many positive relationships, then go seek them out and start building a better support system. It will take effort or your part to get out there. This effort will be worth it in the end.
Positive people are everywhere. The problem is that negative people are often more needy and have taken up all of your time.
Note: you may have to go outside of your friends, family, and co-workers to find this type of support. The best way to find it is by being involved in the things that make you happy.
Note #2: You may have to have different positive support people for different areas of your life.
The positive support person that you may have at work, may not be the same person you have to support you in your fitness goals.
It's okay to seek out new relationships. Relationships do not have to come to us, we can go and find them. It's often necessary.
Give yourself permission to be supported by positive people. Once you are more supported in a positive way, you will no longer allow yourself to get sucked into your former negative relationships. Finding positive support may take some effort on your part. So, go out and find that support. You are worth it. Life it too short to have your energy sucked dry by toxic relationships.
Life throws a lot of things your way, it's up to you to create boundaries with negative individuals, and build up your own positive support system.
Miss Oakley
Feel free to ask questions, comment, and share!
On twitter?? Me too!! https://twitter.com/MissOakley
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