It has been a while and that is okay. Life gets busy. There has been a topic that I have been drawn to lately and want to get it out there, so here I go.
I am a woman of a certain age. An age where the pressure to hide this age is constant. It is plastered throughout the media in every avenue. Commercials tell me ways to be more beautiful, magazines show advertisements of products to mask my age, and the internet has every tip imaginable on how to look younger. The list goes on and on.
And it bothers me.
Why? Because I love who I am.
I love my imperfections and appreciate what my body is capable of doing. I feel beautiful.
This has not come naturally though. It has been a long journey to self-acceptance.
Throughout the years I have probably hated every single body part of mine and tried to do something to perfect it.
Here's a couple areas of myself where I always thought I would one day improve and therefore be perfect:
Up until my wedding I did not like my back. Then I started trying on wedding dresses and I started to like this back of mine for the first time. Why? Because my back has always had my back. Because it is strong. Because it is a part of me.
My nose was something I took issue with for years. When I was in my teens the big plan was to get a nose job. Then I realized that I have the same nose as my brothers. And if I changed it, it would make us different. So I decided to embrace it. I have a great sense of smell and it gives me character. It's a good nose.
There is a gap in between my front teeth. I have had braces twice in my life. And closed the gap. And you know what? I didn't like it. Why? Because I did not look like myself. So I let the gap come back. And I love it. My teeth are healthy and strong. Without them, I would not be able to enjoy the great food that I eat every day.
Why am I telling you my imperfections? Because it has been a long road to get to this point and I am not going to let society tell me to change myself after I have worked so hard to love myself as is.
I am perfectly imperfect.
Society says I need to be vigilant about hiding my age and need to look youthful. And I find this absolutely insulting. Because I like my age and I like that I look older.
Why should I bend for society anyway? Society doesn't know me. I know me. And I like who I am.
In recent decisions to go against this model of perfection I am told I should be...I have decided to let my gray hair be and not cover it up.
This decision has not been supported by ONE other female in my life. And although it saddens me. These other women are not me. My responsibility for self-love is only towards myself. It is not my job to take ownership of what other people think of my decisions. My responsibility is to myself and to accept me. And I do.
I think the gray that is starting to show up in my hair is really beautiful. It is like natures natural highlights. And I am going to go with it.
The whole point of this post is that it has taken me decades to become comfortable in my own skin. And now that I am there, I will not let one other person let me think that I am not beautiful just because I am getting older.
It is also okay to love yourself as you are. Today, I am the best version of myself. Tomorrow I will be one day older, and I am going to choose to embrace what that brings. This is how I chose to think about life. And it has made living more enjoyable.
So I am going to go ahead and love myself. What is the worst that could happen?
Miss Oakley
