**Blowing Into A Paper Bag**

Dear Readers,

What is it that I'm doing you ask??


I'm blowing into a paper bag.

Packing has gotten out of control.  Way out of control.  My place looks like a flop house.  I can barely move.  There is stuff everywhere.  And because it's Me:  THERE IS LITTLE TO NO STRUCTURE GOING ON.  

**Deep Breath**

I need to really dig deep.  The next 24 hours are critical.  So what do I do??
Write a blog post.

I'm taking a break.  I have to.  Or else things are going to spiral out of control.
Or more out of control than they already are.  

Alright, so I'm moving in with the boo into his brother's condo.  The move is temporary, so the goal is to put most of my treasures into a storage unit.

What is currently giving me anxiety has to do with:  Storage.  There's what I would consider a potential storage concern at the condo.  The concern being:  There's not going to be room for my shoes.  Or coats.  Or vast collection of sweat pants.

The boo has a normal sized closet.  I honestly don't see how this is going to work.  He's optimistic about it.  I don't think he understands what all is involved when you are female.  There's a lot of stuff that you have when you are a girl, that guys don't have.  For example:  I have no less than ten scarfs.  Do you know how many scarfs he has:  ONE.  As in, singular.  A Single Scarf.

I'm going to be cutting this close.  Good thing I don't have one of those silly jobs to slow me down.  Supposedly, I'm moving Friday afternoon.  Or that's when the movers are coming at least.

Why would someone hire movers that are waking up to nothing but Saturdays everyday (aka not working)??  Because I love my boo.  And I'd like our union to continue.

In past experiences moving in with a domestic partner has been a non-fun event.  I'm talking about the actual move itself.  Not the living together part.

I've seen a rational person lose their ish over moving.  I'd like for neither of us to choke the other one out.

And for $300, I feel like a potential domestic dispute can be entirely avoided.

I've been packing all day.  Ok fine...I've taken a couple of breaks here and there.  But mostly, I've been packing and cleaning and moving around stuff from one pile to another.

Since most of this stuff is going into storage...I've been sorting through everything and have been trying to figure out what I'll need for the next month or so.

I feel like I'm packing for college all over again.  I can't decide what to take.

True Story:  For the past 10 minutes I've been staring at three white tank tops...trying to decide which are my "favorite two" to take.  It was at this point I decided I needed some fruit punch...and a break.

So this is me taking a break.


I have no less than 70 reservations about this whole thing.  I like my personal space.  A lot.  A lot a lot.

My reservations all pertain to myself personally.  The boo and bro are really laid back and I know everything will be ok on their end.

It's my end I'm worried about.

As I go through my belongings, I have started to question many things.  Mostly, I'm wondering if I've turned into a hoarder.

I'm not really a hoarder.  I just have an emotional attachment to some things.

My former life no longer fits into my current life.  But I can't just throw/give everything away.

I think I've done a pretty good job with sorting through my things.  Both literally and metaphorically.  But there are some things I just can't say goodbye to.

Like Walter (aka Wally).  Wally has been a part of my household for the last five years or so.  I got him as a gift one year for Valentine's Day.  I'm not a big fan of flowers (I thing spending $$ of roses is ridiculous...just not my thing).  So I understand how the former domestic partner had to go with an alternative option.  Also, he waited until the last minute and grabbed whatever was left at     Wal-mart.  And apparently, Walter is what is left if you wait to get your boo a gift on Valentine's Day.  

It's not the gift that I have the attachment to.  It's the time I've spent with Wally.  When I was driving around as a Drug Rep, Wally would come with me.  Don't Judge:  You put 5,000 miles a month on your car driving around Iowa...You'd bring a stuffed animal with you too.  

Anyway, we've spent SO MUCH TIME together.  And I can't seem to part with him.  Not because of an attachment to my former domestic partner.  But my attachment towards Walter himself.


Yeah, I know he's a red ape with a bad pleather jacket.  But he was with me when no one was.  Literally.  He rode in my car for thousands and thousands of miles and never once did he give me a hard time.  Never. Not when I rapped along with my boy Snoop Dog or Dr Dre.  Or even Bone Thugz and Harmony.  


Yes, I realize he's a stuffed animal.  I think this is what happens when you don't have kids.  Actually, no.  This is what happens to ME.  This is what happens when you're me.


Do I have a vivid imagination??  Yes.  Do I give stuffed animals their own persona's and make up stories about their lives??  Yes.  I'm forever a four year old.  


Guys, I'm not sure where I was going with this.  If I was even going anywhere.  I just needed a break to calm down.

I am now calm and can get back to sorting through my underwear and questioning why I bought those Sketcher Shape Ups two years ago (that I just found in my closet).

I'll keep everyone posted on the moving situation.


Should you have any thoughts, comments, concerns, or would just like to question my judgement overall...Just leave a comment!


Other Stories:
Bathroom Attendants, Sled Dogs, and Living In My Car
Dog Roommates, Big Pun, and My Closet
That One Time I Was a Drug Rep: A Tale of Type 2 Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction


Forever, Blogging About Very Important Stories Of My Life,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

News You Can Use: Celebrity Update

Dear Readers,
I feel the need to update you on all things Celebrity related today.

I am in the process of moving and have been busy packing and therefore, am super stressed.  So instead of complaining about my life I thought it would be best to share what's going on in the lives of celebrities.   

So here is some
"News You Can Use."

Oscar Nominations Came Out Yesterday:
You can read the complete list HERE.  I'm ok with pretty much all of their picks.  Except anything to do with "The Tree of Life".  Which in my opinion, was horrible.  Was it not??

The Oscars are February 26th.

Demi Moore Has Been Hospitalized:
For "Exhaustion".  She collapsed from an epileptic seizure and was rushed to the hospital last night.  Lately, she's lost a ton of weight and those around her have been concerned for some time.  They believe that she's fallen off the wagon and has been hitting the booze pretty hard.  So in addition to getting a divorce from Ashton Kutcher, this is what Demi has been up to.  Celebs are notorious for being hospitalized for "Exhaustion".  It's weird, because I haven't seen her act in anything since GI Jane.  Maybe she's exhausted from plastic surgery??  We need to cut her some slack though.  Word on the street is that getting a divorce is non-fun.  Also, she has decided to seek professional treatment.  And for that, I commend her.  

Rihanna and Chris Brown:
Rihanna and Chris Brown never really stopped hanging out.  They were spotted out this last weekend together.  They have recently started to re-follow each other on Twitter.  It is in my opinion that these two are going to give it another try.  Should they try it one more time??  Uh, no.  Definitely not.  But I don't think they're going to listen to me.  Or you.  Or anyone except their loins.  

Heidi Klum and Seal Headed Towards Splitsville:
Heidi Klum is filing for divorce from Seal.  After six years.  (Some sources are saying it's been 7 years.)  I'm not sure...Let's just say they've been together 6-7 years.  And in Hollywood time that's pretty much forever.  I didn't see this one coming.  I'm really going to miss their Halloween party outfits.  My sources are saying that Heidi is just using this as a scare tactic to get Seal to go to therapy for his anger outbursts.  Apparently he has issues with anger management.  We'll see what happens.  
To be continued.  

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari Have Come Down With A Case Of The Babies:
Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are having a baby.  This is probably a bad idea.  Babies however get a lot of press.  PR wise I guess this is how Kristin Cavalleri is going to stay relevant.  And I'm pretty sure she wants to get paid.  There's no better way to make sure you get some consistent cheddar for 18 years than having a baby put in you.  Is this a bad idea??  Yes.  Is she going to be financially set for life??  Yes.

Lil Jon + Maury Povich = Bad:
Found this little treasure on YouTube.  Looks like Lil Jon teamed up with Maury Povich and made a song "Dat Baby Don't Look Like Me."  The song, is horrible.  You can check it out for yourself below.  The lyrical masterpiece starts at the 18 second mark.   

It's Getting Ugly Between Katy Perry and Russell Brand:
Katy Perry unfollowed her husband Russel Brand on Twitter.  This is looking like it's going to get bad.  Supposedly, he's working on a "tell all" book.  I'm guessing that this is going to get way out of control before it's all said and done.  

Jessica Simpson Knows How To Party:
Jessica Simpson wore this mask.  Why??  I have no idea.  And I'm pretty sure she has no idea either.  About a lot of things.  (If you can't tell, the mask is of a male reproductive organ.)  I'm hoping this is just her trying to be funny??  The pic was taken at a friend's Bachelorette Party.  She's super pregnant right now and therefore can't drink.  Still, I don't get it.  

Vanessa Bryant Is Getting Paid:
Vanessa Bryant (Kobe Bryant's ex) ended up with $75 million and 3 mansions.  Earlier, I projected she'd get $100...and so not to brag or anything, but I was pretty much right on.

Khloe Isn't A Kardashian After All:
Color me surprised.  I thought she totally looked like Kim and Kourtney.  No??  Don't any of you worry.  They're going to address this whole thing just like every other family does:  By having a special episode about the scandal on their show "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."

A Gem of a Photo I Found On The Internets:

Louis Vuitton Hockey Mask.  So you can be a serial killer in style.  

And Finally, A YouTube Flash Mob Sensation:

Should you have any thoughts, comments, or would like to reflect further...Just leave a comment!
Forever, Blogging About Informative News You Can Use,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

I'm Moving: An Announcement and An Analysis

Dear Readers,


There are a couple of things I would like to share with you today.  They are both things you didn't know you wanted to know.

What I will be sharing are two things:
1.  An Announcement.
2.  An Analogy.  


An Announcement:  I'm moving.

Not far though.  I'm moving approximately 1.2 miles away from where I currently reside.  I could walk there.  And I have.

I'm moving in with the boo.  And his bro.

Due to the current situation that is:  MY LIFE:  it has been decided that it would be in my best interests to move out of my ridiculously overpriced apartment, and in with my lover and his brother.

I think it's for the best.  The main reason is that, I have been waking up to nothing but Saturdays for over a year now (aka I'm unemployed) and my apartment is $1,100/month.  For 600 square feet.  In IOWA.

$1,100/month isn't that much if you were living in basically any major city in the U.S.  But not Iowa.  It is my firm belief that the state of Iowa should be PAYING ME to live here.  And not the other way around.

At any rate, a couple months ago we had a "family meeting" and decided I had to move.

The decision was really really really hard on my part.  For a lot of reasons.  Mainly, my pride.  But you know what trumps pride??  The option of having to live in your car.

Another thing that trumps pride is LOVE.

An Analysis:  Will I Make a Good Roommate??

I haven't lived with another human being in over two years.  Lately, I've been wondering if I'll make a good roommate.  I do a lot of what could be considered "bizarre" things that may not be well received.


Things That I Do That May Not Be Well Received:

• I have daily dance parties by myself.  Why??  Because it's fun. 
• Sometimes I don't like to wear pants.  Why??  They're restrictive.
• I now will have to be semi-accountable for my daily activities. (See the above two statements.)
• I night feed.  Meaning:  I eat during the night and wake up with no recollection of what went down.  Most nights I wake up with a couple of wrappers in my bed, a jar of peanut butter, cereal...whatever I can get my hands on.
• Sometimes I have Fashion Shows when I get bored.  My fashion shows consist of me, trying on everything in my closet.  Then wearing myself out and sleeping on a pile of clothes.
• I'm not sure if I'm the best person to share a bathroom with.  Why??  Because I'm female and therefore come with a lot of lotions and various beauty products.  
• I have a bunch of stuffed animals.  
• I like to "sleep in".  And after a year of not working, seriously, that's what happens.  You start embracing sleep.  Also, you don't have that much going on so why not??  

However, on the other hand there are some things that I do that may make me a good roommate.

Things That I Do That May Be Well Received:

• I am easy to get along with. 
• I am also easily entertained.
• I like people.
• I like to keep things fun and never know what I'm going to do next.  Literally.  I have no idea what I'm going to do next.  This keeps things interesting.  Both for myself, and for others.

So, we'll see how this all turns out.  I have until next Monday to be out of my apartment.  So, I'll be packing and moving all this week.  It should be a good time.  I heard moving in the winter is super fun. 


Let's Reflect:  What Did We Learn?
I'm moving.
I don't like to wear pants at times.
I'm pumped to move in the winter. 


So, I Ask You?
Do you make a good roommate??  Do you believe that I will??  Why or why not??  Do you love moving in the winter??

Forever, Blogging About Things You Need To Know,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.
 **As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.
 **Should you wish to read more of my completely profound thoughts throughout the day...


          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

I Have Class All Weekend. Jealous??

Dear Readers,

It's another day.  And therefore, another thing that I need to share with you.

Today is kind of a big day. For I officially start the second semester of Graduate School.

I only have 2 1/2 years left.  So watch out world.

This semester I'm taking two classes that are going to be super interesting:  Psychiatric Disorders and Educational Research.

In the Psychiatric Disorders class we are going to learn how to diagnose and then plan treatment around various disorders.

I am pumped.

There's a lot of reading that comes with that class.  Turns out, there are a ton of different disorders out there.  One of our books is 900 pages.  And that's just one of the three that we need to read.  And that's not  even counting the non-book stuff we have to read/do.

I happen to like reading, so this will mostly likely work out for me.

However, I think it may be best that I get this reading done before I go to bed.  The other night I was reading a study on Schizophrenia for this class...and I had some weird dreams that night.

One of the things that I'm not looking forward to is the fact that all of my classes are on the weekends this semester though.  My classes are Friday nights from 5-10pm and then all day Saturday and Sundays.

The things we do for Master's degrees.

So while you are busy having a life this weekend...I'll be busy getting my learn on.  I will also be getting my Lunchable on.  And drinking a Capri Sun.  Because it's Grad School, and that's what you do.

Let's Reflect, What Did We Learn?

• In 2 1/2 years, I might have a life.
• Reading about Schizophrenia before going to bed causes strange dreams.
• Nothing says future Therapist like bringing a Lunchable to class.

So, I Ask You?
Are you doing anything fun this weekend??  Are you jealous of my life??

Forever, Blogging About Things You Need To Know,
Miss Oakley

 **Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.
 **As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.
 **Should you wish to read more of my completely profound thoughts throughout the day...

          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

An Open Letter To My Zit and SOPA

Dear Readers,

Today, I would like to take the time to discuss something that has been on my mind for a while.

Naturally, this is something you never knew you wanted to know in the first place.

My blemish.

Who has decided to become one with my face.

I've tried everything to get rid of it.  And now, as a last resort I am going to try to SHAME it into hiding.

This zit and I have a special bond and we've been together for a while.  About two weeks now.

This thing is a "Repeat Offender."

A "Repeat Offender" to me is just like what it is in the criminal justice system.  It is someone who has committed a crime.  Repeatedly.  And this "someone" is my not so good friend, Mr. Blemish.

I don't know what is going on here.  I'm an adult.  I shouldn't be getting blemishes. That's what Junior High was for.

My dermatologist is going to have me try out some new creams.  I can't wait.  The last time I tried out some new stuff my face looked like I had chicken pox.

So everyone brace yourselves for "my new face."  It will be coming to you soon.  I'm going to try this stuff out this weekend.

And in other news...


As you know probably know by now there's this whole SOPA thing going on.

Gizmodo posted a good article that explains what SOPA is and means.  You can check their article out HERE.

I personally, think the whole thing is ridiculous.  Of course the internet shouldn't be censored.  That's why we use it in the first place.  To get info.  Without censorship.

Seriously, if I wanted to live in North Korea and have my online activities severely limited...I'd live there.

But, I live in the U.S.  And I'm pretty sure that's why the founding fathers started this country.

Instead of complaining about it.  We need to do something about it.

We need to get all up in the legislative system and let our voices be heard.

Sign the petition:  Tell Congress: Don't Censor The Web.

I refuse to be silenced.  I must continue blogging about important things such as:
My Middle School Mustache.
The American Dream.
Interpreting Really Bad Pop Songs.

Let's Reflect: What Have We Learned?

• I have a blemish.
• SOPA is ridiculous and we need to sign the petition.
• No one is going to stop me from telling awkward stories.

So, I Ask You?
What is your thoughts on this whole me having a zit/SOPA thing??  Will you sign the petition??



Forever, Blogging About Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed. 
 **As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.
 **Should you wish to read more of my completely profound thoughts throughout the day...


          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

The Amish Exist

Dear Readers,

Today I wanted to share a story with you.  And it happens to be a story that you need to know.  

This story is about:  

That One Time I Realized Amish People Existed.  And a bunch of them are residing in Iowa.

For real.

Up until a couple of years ago...I thought that the Amish were something of an "urban legend."  Like the stories about "Kidney Thieves" and "Walt Disney Being Cryogenically Frozen."  (Look them up if you don't believe me.) 

Turns out...The Amish...Not An Urban Legend. 

These people actually exist.  I know this for a fact.  Because I have witnessed them in all of their Amish-ness.

How did I learn about the existence of The Amish you ask??  Well, I'll tell you...

One day I was driving around for my Pharmaceutical Drug Rep gig  ("That One Time I Was A Drug Rep: A Tale of Type 2 Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction.") in southern Iowa.  

It was about 4PM and I had been driving for HOURS.  

I'd eaten a bunch of Cheetos and Twizzlers and had had way too much caffeine that day.  Specifically, latte's.  (They are delicious are they not??)

So anyway, I had been driving for hours and ended up in Lamoni, Iowa.

As I'm driving along the highway...I pass a horse and buggy.  Being driven by someone that looked like they came out of the 1800's.  Wearing all black, a hat, had a long beard...the whole thing.

I thought the Cheetos had gotten to me and I was seeing things.

But then I saw ANOTHER one.

And then another.  

And then a bunch of kids...with lunch boxes.  Who all looked like they were ready to go to a funeral.

I thought I had lost it.  I was convinced I had driven to the end of the world.  

I had never seen any Amish before.  And seriously didn't know they existed.  

I needed to talk this out.

So I pull over and stop at Pamida.  For those of you unfamiliar with this "Pamida" I speak of...Pamida is a small chain store.  It's like a little mini Wal-mart.  They are in really small towns.  And you can get everything there.  

When I pull into Pamida there is a horse and it's buggy tied to a light pole.  

I had clearly lost it.

I took a picture with my phone, sent to to my brother *Jack*, and then immediately called him.  I needed him to verify my mental state.  

Our Conversation:

Jack:  "Hello?"

Me:  "I'm lost."

Jack:  "Where are you?"

Me:  "I'm trapped in the 1800's."

Jack:  "You're probably exaggerating.  Seriously, where are you?"

Me:  "I'm in Lamoni, Iowa...Almost in Missouri."

Jack:  "And you don't know how you got there?  Why are you lost?"

Me:  "Did you get that picture I just sent you??"

Jack:  "No.  What was it of?"

Me:  "I have no idea.  Some dude that looked like Abraham Lincoln...only shorter...and he was driving a buggy.  With a horse"

Jack:  Snickers.  

Me:  "I'm serious.  I'm scared.  I've been driving for a really long time and now I've ended up in the 1800's."

Jack:  "No, you're just in southern Iowa.  There's a bunch of Amish in that area."

Me:  "WHAT?!  These people are real?!"

Jack:  "Uh, yeah.  There's a bunch of them."

Me:  "Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

Jack:  "What?  Did you want the Amish to say 'Hey, we're here??'

Me:  "Yeah, that would have been nice."

Jack:  "Don't worry, you're fine.  You're not lost.  You're just in Iowa.  That's what you get for living in Iowa."

Me:  "Dude, I've lived here for a while.  And I've never once seen anything like it."

Jack:  "Well, you must have never been to southern Iowa."

Me:  "I guess not."

Jack:  "You're kind of ridiculous.  Do you know that?"

Me:  "Yeah, I know."

Jack:  "Ok, I'm going to go.  I have a job."

Me:  "So do I.  Apparently I'm going to sell Erectile Dysfunction medication to the Amish."

Jack:  "Have fun."

Me:  Looks at the horse tied up to the lightpole next to my standard issued Drug Rep Impala and shake my head in disbelief.  

I then go into Pamida.  And there's Amish all up in the store.  I kept trying to make eye contact with the store clerk as if to say "Can you believe we're seeing this??"  But apparently, I was the only one in the store that was unfamiliar with the goings on of the Amish.

Anyway, I bought a bag of Chex Mix and some Laffy Taffy and then hit the road.   

And went on a mission to capture my experience.

So here I am driving all slow and creepy on the highway...trying to get a picture of the Amish.  I felt bad.


But then I just told myself that they had no idea what a cell phone or a Blackberry was.  And it was ok to exploit their lifestyle.

Here is the evidence:

Evidence of the Amish.

Rush Hour in Lamoni, Iowa

I took pictures like I was at the zoo or something.  The whole time laughing and looking around to see if ANYBODY else was seeing what I was seeing.  But it was just me and the Amish out there on that road.  Just me taking pictures of them and laughing.

I imagine I'm not the only one who laughed that day.

I'm pretty sure that night at dinner an Amish family talked about how funny it was to realize that an actual Drug Rep that sold Erectile Dysfunction medication in Lamoni, Iowa existed.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Click here should you want to read about:   "That One Time I Was A Drug Rep: A Tale of Type 2 Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Reflect:  What Did We Learn?

• The Amish Exist.
• Apparently there are a bunch of them in Southern Iowa.
• Drug Reps who sell Erectile Dysfunction medication to the Amish living in Southern Iowa also exist.  

So, I Ask You?

Did you know the Amish existed??  Did you know there was a bunch of them living in Southern Iowa??  If so, Why didn't you tell me?? 

**Jack is not my brother's real name.  
**Just an FYI:  Don't try looking the Amish up online.  They don't have a website. 

Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted To Know About In The First Place,

Miss Oakley

 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.

 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.

 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...

          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

There Will Be No Roses in My Future

Dear Readers,

I wanted to share with you a breakthrough that occurred last night.  As always, this is stuff you never knew you wanted to know in the first place.

A lot of things happened last night.  Many decisions were made, and I am now not the same person.

Last night, I decided to do something productive with myself and instead of watching "The Bachelor",              I decided to read for an upcoming class.

One of the classes I'm taking this semester is "Psychiatric Disorders"..and there's a lot of reading to be done.  Turns out, there are a lot of disorders out there.

So instead of watching "The Bachelor", I read.  About Psych Disorders.

But because, I'm me, I still DVR'd the thing.  Which honestly, I think is worse than actually watching it.  Why??  Because watching the show could be done accidentally...I could accidentally be switching through the channels and stumble upon the show.  But DVR'ing it...That's intentional.  It's pre-meditated and planned out.  Which is why it is worse than just straight up watching it.  

After an hour or so of reading...Naturally, I got hungry.  It was at this point that I decided to turn on my TV...


Then my brother calls...So, I mute the show and talk to him for a while. 

After we get off the phone, I still have the show muted...And decide to just watch a little of it...muted.

It was after approximately thirty seconds that I came to a life changing decision:
I was done watching this show.

In that thirty seconds...I was visually assaulted by: the horrible acting, theatrics, and just overall ridiculousness of the show.


And because I'm reading about Psychiatric Disorders...And thought that this show would give me some great examples of what I was reading about...I continued to watch the show muted for about 5 minutes.  It was probably the worst and yet most eye opening 5 minutes of my life.    

For the five minutes that I tuned in (muted) what I saw was offensive.  It was the rose ceremony at the end of the show...and some girl decided to basically pass out.  I think she was upset because she thought she wasn't going to get a rose from "The Bachelor"??  (I don't know...I hadn't watched any of the episode.)  This is what I told myself that was going on...as I watched it muted.  

It was the above stated girl that did it for me.  I couldn't understand what her deal was.  I think this was the third episode??  So she'd probably spent... a total of ten minutes with "The Bachelor"??  And in those ten minutes...decided the fate of her life depended on him giving her a rose??  The Bachelor", Ben, has a personality of a mop.  And not even a cool Swiffer mop...just a regular mop.  I wouldn't cough for him, much less shed an actual tear.  I just didn't get it.  Or her.  Or really, the premise of the entire show.    

To make a short story long...I can no longer watch this show.  I'm done.  After I don't know how many seasons it's been on...I'm quitting it.  I'm going to go cold turkey.

I guess I just saw it in a different light tonight.  Also, I was reading about Psychiatric Disorders and a lot of things started to make sense...

The course of my life has now been altered.  I now will not be spending two hours every Monday evening, watching a complete train-wreck being passed off as a TV show.

I don't judge any of you that will continue to watch this show.  I have no room to talk.  I think I've seen almost every season...I know I've seen at least ten of them.  So trust me, I am passing no judgement.  All I'm saying is that I personally am discontinuing my love affair with "The Bachelor".

There will be no roses in the future for this gal.

Let's Reflect:  What Have We Learned:

• Worse than actually stumbling upon "The Bachelor" is DVR-ing it.
• Worse than DVR-ing it, is watching it muted.
• Worse than everything...is crying over a mop.

So, I Ask You:
Did you watch last nights episode?? If so, do you or do you not think that if the producers put a Swiffer Wet Jet mop in place of Ben...it would make for better TV??



Forever, Blogging About Things You Never Knew You Wanted To Know In The First Place,
Miss Oakley


**Comments are Welcomed & Encouraged.  No Judgment Shall Ever Be Passed.
**Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
**Should you wish to read more of my profound thoughts throughout the day...
    Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

Happy Martin Luther King Jr., Day!

Dear Readers,

Some of you (in the U.S.) have the day off today.  For it is Martin Luther King Jr. Dry.  And there's no way I could blog about anything else on this day..  

Every year I have a personal tradition.  I personally honor this day with self-education and reflection of MLK Jr.'s work.  I started this several years ago...I was working for a company that honored the day and let their employees have the day off.  And because I had the day off...For his day...I wanted to celebrate by learning more about his life. So each year since, I have taken time to recognize a man that forever changed the world because he had a dream.   

My celebration of MLK Day starts off with me reading something that he has written, or a speech of his...And always ends with me looking up a bunch of his quotes.

I wanted to share some of his quotes with you.  And reflect on what they mean to me.  

Please keep in mind that my viewpoints of his quotes are shared by me and me alone.   

**Side Note:  I LOVE QUOTES.  Seriously, I love them.  They are therapeutic.  I keep a running list of quotes...and when I'm having a rough day...I pull the list out.  MLK is all up on my list.      

Favorite Martin Luther King Jr. Quotes and My Personal Reflection:

"I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight that we, as a people, will get to the promised land."

This quote gives me inspiration.  He had faith in something they he knew he might never see.  To me this means that I need to work and try to make the world a better place...even if I myself will never see the results of those efforts.  The things I do today will be beneficial to my children and to my children's children.  I don't know my children's children...and I may never meet them...but I know I want the best for them.  


"At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love."

I'm a big fan of non-violence.  I think we all are.  There's no harm that can come from hugging it out.     


"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

In the end, I will remember what I DIDN'T say...not what I DID say.  I try to live my life so that I don't regret not saying something I should have.  This is hard sometimes.  Especially when I know that my beliefs sometimes aren't shared by everyone.  Whenever I say something that I know is not going to be well received...I take a deep breath...and go for it.  I tell myself, "Someone else is probably thinking the same thing, they just aren't saying it...You need to say it for yourself...and for them."  This may or may not be true, but it helps me to say what I feel needs to be said.  


"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

My life has been about all of the little moments.  They all add up.  I think life is just a series of tiny little moments.  Every moment counts and everything I do or do not do counts.  Sometimes this quote flashes in my mind when I see/hear something that I know isn't right.  The easiest thing to do is to just let it slide and tell myself "Next time ____ happens, I'll say something."  If I find myself saying "Next time...." I know I need to act on it THIS time.


"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

This is probably one of my my top ten quotes ever.  Said by anyone.  For any reason.  This quote keeps me marching the beat of my little drum.  It keeps me on my path to doing what I believe needs to be done .  I think my life will be over the minute I become silent about that which I care about.  To be silent, is to not be passionate.  And to not be passionate, is not to live.


"An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity."

Sometimes it is easy to get wrapped up in my own personal concerns.  However, luckily the world does not revolve around me.  Whenever I'm in the midst of a personal pity party I think of this quote.  



"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

Ignorance is not bliss.  Ignorance is ignorance. 


"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in time of challenge and controversy."

The times in my life that have been the hardest...have also been the times that I discovered what I was made of.  Turns out, I'm a lot stronger than I think.  It is in those challenging times where I am tested and become a better person.  I wouldn't be who I am today, if I didn't go through a couple things.  The hardest times in my life have also been hard on those that I love.  The true measure of love (to me), is the people that have/will stick by me through all the good times and the not so good times.  


"We may have all come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now."

This quote can be used for a lot of situations.  We (society) are all in the same boat.  Whether we like it or not.  It's probably a good idea to figure out how to collectively work together so we don't sink the ship.  



"That old law about 'an eye for an eye' leaves everyone blind.  The time is always right to do the right thing."

I think "an eye for an eye" is one of the most misquoted/misused passages ever.  People use it to justify various things.  There was a point in my life where I too didn't totally understand this quote...then I thought about it.  If we took this quote literally...and started poking eyes out for what we feel is unjust...we'd all be blind.  I believe the intention of this quote actually was to say that if you committed a crime against someone (example: poking out someones eye); the fine was was equivalent to the worth of the eye.  It meant that you should not seek revenge and rather the fine for everyone was the same...Rich and poor...for all social classes.  In no way did it justify revenge.  What it was saying is that for every wrong, there is a compensating measure of justice.  That compensating measure, should be no greater than the wrong itself.  Basically, it was a way to encourage people to forgive and show mercy to those that have wronged them.  Not to literally poke other people's eyes out.  Or justify revenge.  




"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness."

When in doubt, the best thing for society is what benefits all.  Not what only benefits me.  


"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

I love this quote.  In the last couple of years, I started stepping on a staircase, so dark...that I couldn't even see the next step in front of me.  Rather than let fear keep me in my tracks...I just felt my way on to the next step.  I don't know what lies ahead of me as far as my future goes.  But I do know, that I needed to start stepping in order to find out.   So I started stepping.  In the dark.  I still can't see the whole staircase, but I am hoping it's there.    

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you've ever read any of MLK Jr's quotes, anything he's written, or read about anything he did as a person...you know that he believed in his dream.  I too have a dream.  Will I ever have a day on the calendar to remember my bday??  Probably not.  And I'm okay with that.  MLK inspires me to follow my dream and do so:  lovingly, compassionately, and to the betterment of society as a whole.


Forever Blogging About Things That Are Personally Important,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.

It Is Non-Fun To Tell Someone That They Smell...And Not In A Good Way.

Dear Readers,

Since it is a new day, I thought I would find a new topic to discuss.  As always, it's something you never wanted to know in the first place.

What is the topic you ask??  Body Odor.

I'm talking about B to the O, my dear readers.

It's one of those topics that I find society doesn't talk enough about it.  I think we need to start a healthy dialog around it.  It needs to be talked about and we need to "clear the air" so to speak.


First of all, body odor is natural.  Everyone has their own natural musk.  Some people's natural odor just happens to stink.  Literally.

I have so many stories about B.O. and sweating.  As I think about it...It's actually a disproportionate number of stories.  In fact, there are so many...that I actually had to go through a mental list and PICK one.  It was a toss up, and I went with a throw back tale.  No worries...I'll share some of my other smelly/sweaty stories with you later.  For today, I'm going to share a story of stink that happened in college.

My First Story of Stink:
Back in college I was a Resident Assistant (RA) for some time.  The "RA" is basically the person in charge of a large group of students (which we in the biz refer as "residents.")  I had 60 co-eds that I was responsible for.  It was the best job I ever had.

And the worst.  Why??  Because I was in charge of 60 co-ed students/residents.  And that meant I had to regulate. On Everything.  Including B.O.

My first year of doing the whole RA thing, the residents shared rooms.  So there were 2 people per room.  And whenever you have two people living in a confined space, you're going to come across a couple issues.  Also, the room that the students shared was about the size of a single car garage...or a large walk in closet.  Or jail cell.

Because of confidentiality reasons, I'm not going to name names.  I am however, going to tell you of an incident that I had to regulate and therefore resolve.

I had a male resident that did not get particularly get along with his roommate.  There were many reasons.  Most of them were hygiene related.  Basically, one of them smelled.

So the resident that had his nasal passages offended came to me one day to discuss his roommate.  And by "discuss" I mean this guy had HAD IT.  As a good RA, I listened to him rant and rave for about an hour.

I then had to investigate.  The thing about body odor is that...If you're going to accuse someone of having it...You better have your story straight.  So, I couldn't just take the word of his roommate...I HAD TO GO AND SMELL THE KID.

Have you ever tried to smell someone without their knowing??  Just randomly??  It's hard.  And there's no way to transition into it.  You can't knock on their door and say "Hey, can I smell you?  Your roommate thinks you stink."

At any rate, I had to fully investigate the situation and do a "Smell Check."


The "Smell Check" Was To Determine If:
A) It was their room in general that smelled.
B) He just needed to was his clothes.
C) He actually had Body Odor.


Turns out, it was option "C".  This guy, did in fact, have B.O.  BAD.    


So bad in fact...that I couldn't even talk to him about it on the spot.  I had to go back to my room and assess my next move.  Also, I had to get out of their room because I was gagging.  


I go back to my room and call up a couple other RA's...to get their opinions and bounce some ideas across.  It was the consensus of my fellow RA's...That this was in fact a potential health issue.  So therefore, I needed to address it.

So I did.

I grabbed one of my own bars of "Zest" and went back down to their room.

**Side Note:  Whenever, I have to do something uncomfortable or anything that involves confrontation...I just get down to it.  I rarely use transitions either.

So I knock back on their door and talk to the resident about his stink.

A Summary of Our Conversation:
Me:  I hand him a the bar of soap and say "Hey dude, you need to use this.  Seriously...Do you know what I mean??"
Smelly Resident:  "No?"  (Of course he didn't know what I mean.  People that have B.O. don't know.  If they did, I imagine they'd do something about it.)
Me:  "I don't know how to say it, so I'm just going to say it.  You smell.  And the smell isn't a good smell either."
Smelly Resident:  Super embarrassed.
Me:  "This isn't anything personal and you do what you want.  But your roommate is having a real issue with your odor."
Smelly Resident:  "Really?"
Me:  "Yes, and as uncomfortable as this is.  It's my job to talk to you about it.  If the situation was reversed and it was he that smelled...I would do the same thing for you.  I'd talk to him and give him a bar of Zest...just like I did with you."
Resident:  Still super embarrassed.
Me:  "Ok, we never have to talk about this again.  But seriously dude, use the soap."

And this concludes the summary of our conversation about his body odor. 


As an RA, I had to have this and many many other really awkward conversations.  The trade off was that  I had my Room & Board paid for.  However, I did the math and it worked out to to be something like $3 an hour.  And I had to confront many many things.  Like B.O.  Was it worth it??  I don't know.  But it happened, and I thought I'd share my story.

Let's Reflect:  What Did We Learn:

• Everyone has their own natural musk.
• In uncomfortable and or confrontational situations I rarely use transitional statements.
• I gave a resident a bar of Zest because he smelled.  And not in a good way.  Also, I haven't used Zest since.  

So I Ask You:

In awkward situations what do you do??  Do you just get right to the point??  Do you use Zest??  If so, are you going to continue using it after this story??

Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted To Know About In The First Place,
Miss Oakley

 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
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P.S. I just started tumbling yesterday, so I don't have a lot on it.  But I will, don't you worry.

Dogs, Babies, and Bears

Dear Readers,
There's something I wanted to share with you today.  It is probably something you didn't think you wanted to learn about me today.  But after reading you'll think:  "Man, I'm really glad Miss Oakley told me about this today."  Or you'll think:  "Man, this Miss Oakley gal, needs to get a life.  I can't believe I actually read her blog."  I'm ok with either thought.  Or any thoughts really.

If there's a couple things I love they are:  Dogs and Babies.  One day I plan on filling up my house with a bunch of both of them.  Right now...I have neither.  Additionally, and not related to dogs OR babies...I think bears are cute.  Just in general.  I thought you should know this as well.  

Honestly, the reason I love YouTube/Facebook/Twitter/the internet in general...is that I get to see photos/videos of my friends kids and pets.  All day.  Every day.  And when I run out of photos of actual people I know...I can then search for cute stuff online.

The other day a friend posted some pictures of her baby boy that were so cute that I contemplated printing off every single one of the 62 pictures and wallpapering my wall with his cute little mug.  When I saw his pics for the first time I almost barfed he was so cute.  And since I'm awkward...I told my friend about the above stated plans of wallpapering my apartment with her child's face.  She was ok with it.  (We've been friends for a long time.  And therefore, I was justified in asking her if I could do this. )  I swear, this kid could win a Gerber photo contest.  That's how sure I am in his cuteness.  One of the reasons he's so cute is that I grew up with his parents...and I can see both of them in his little face.  It's like looking in the face of a rainbow and a teddy bear both at the same time.  So friend and her husband...thank you for reproducing.  I'd post a pic, but I prefer not to scar this child for life.  Should he want to have his picture on a blog someday...it shall be his decision.  For now, his face will just be plastered all over my apartment walls.  Which totally wouldn't scar a child at all.      


If anyone has ever had to un-pleasure of spending more than five minutes with me...they know that I LOVE DOGS/PUPPIES/ALL THINGS ANIMAL RELATED.  I have a thing for dogs.  All kinds of dogs.  Big, little...it doesn't matter.  I've never seen a dog I didn't think I could love.  I especially have a thing for puppies.  Why??  Because they're adorable.  

My girlfriend had a Holiday party a couple weekends ago and she and her husband have two huge Labs.  I'm not going to lie...at one point in the party I snuck away to cuddle with them on the couch.  At one point we were all holding paws and I started to cry.  It was a beautiful moment.

I would really really really love to become an aunt one of these days.  By my count, I have three brothers...and my hope is to one day love the stuffing out of their children.  None of the three of them plan on having any kids anytime soon so I guess I will just have to wait.

I guess, I could start having kids or puppies myself (well not actually giving birth to a litter of puppies...but you know what I mean.)  But I'm not ready.  So I'm going to opt out of giving birth to children/puppies right now.

My point is that I have no dogs or children in my life...So I've turned to one of my dearest friends...YouTube to get my dog and cute kid videos for the day.  I'm posting some of my favorites.  Additionally, I did a lot of research for this post.  So...you're welcome.

I will first start with is Boo.  Boo is a Pomeranian.  With an awesome hair cut.  He's super cute and has a massive following.  He also has his own Facebook page.  I don't know who gave him a computer.  Or how he has internet access.  Let's just say it's magic.  And seriously, I don't know how he types...Look how small his paws are.  So yeah, Boo is a magical Pomeranian with a cute hair cut.  He has a ton of videos on YouTube.  Should you care spending a couple of hours online looking at his cuteness.

Mishka is a Husky.  And she is awesome.  As you'll see in her video.  She's also kind of a big deal.  She has her own YouTube channel.  Which naturally, I subscribe to.  And not to brag or anything:  but she's totally been in her own dog food commercial.  

Here are a couple of Pugs doing a cute head tilt.

Mishka again.  Saying "I Love You".  I could watch this video 100 times.  And I have.

Not sure why the parents let their child sleep in a dog bed.  However, I don't judge.  Also, it's cute.

I love this video. (Not Mishka...another Husky...I have a thing for sled dogs.)

This video below could be also be considered "annoying".  I however, consider it "adorable."

Ok, not a dog or a child.  It's actually a gigantic bear.  Waving. If you don't think this is cute.  You probably need to re-evaluate some aspects of your life.

And this concludes my blog on Dogs, Babies, and Bears. 


Let's Reflect:  What Have We Learned:

• I love dogs, babies, and apparently bears.
• YouTube is a great source of information.
• I need to get a life.

So, I Ask You:  

Do you also love dogs, babies, and or bears??  Why or why not??  Are you in agreement, that YouTube is a great place to research important topics??  Is it your belief that I may or may need to get a life??



Forever, Informing You of Very Important Things,
Miss Oakley


**Comments are Welcomed & Encouraged.  No Judgment Shall Ever Be Passed.
**Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
**Should you wish to read more of my profound thoughts throughout the day...
    Follow my twitter account @MissOakley