A Historical Look at Valentine's Day

Dear Readers,

Today I wanted to share with you a historical take on Valentine's Day.  The history being:  Mine.

As always, today I will be sharing with you stories of my life that you never knew you wanted to know in the first place.

Valentine's Day has historically been not my favorite day and I wanted to share a couple stories of Valentine's Day past.

It is important to note that I have have never been a big fan of Valentine's Day.  Here's why:  Generally, if society wants me to do something or expects something of me...It makes me not want to do it.  And therefore, I end up not participating in it.  Additionally, I don't like flowers.  Seriously.  At all.  However, I understand that a lot of people like flowers and that is fine.  I'm not judging.  They're pretty.  However, they're just not my cup of tea.  If you want to show your love for me, get me a potted plant.  Like a fern or perhaps a cactus.  Those things live forever and take minimal effort to keep alive.  Additionally, they are cost effective.  It makes sense.  To me.  Everyone that has had the un-pleasure of knowing me knows that I do not like flowers.  So much so, that I've only gotten them once.

At any rate, I wanted to share some stories of how fun Valentine's Day can be.  For me.

Last Year (2011):
Last year on V-Day I spent it in a "seminar" at the unemployment office.  An all day seminar...in a room....with people that had also lost their jobs.  ALL DAY.  Because I have what could be considered a "unique sense of humor" I wore a red shirt.  Just because I was in a depressing place, didn't mean I couldn't show some love.  Intermittently throughout the day, I would look down at my red shirt and start laughing at the irony of the whole situation.  This did not help me make friends.  An unemployed lady, in red, laughing at herself?  Not funny.  Well, it was super funny to me.  And that's all that matters.  Last year I wasn't dating anyone.  On purpose.  I had two rescue dogs (Pooh Bear and Mr. Bingley) that I was fostering and they were the only guys I needed.  I didn't get any gifts.  Unless you call Mr. Bingley rolling around in his own excrement a gift?  I came home after the "seminar" of fun to that guy caked in his own stuff in his kennel.  So for Valentine's Day he got a bath.  And I got to clean up a good time.  So thanks Mr. B.  You must have read my diary and knew exactly what I wanted for this special day.

Last year wasn't a complete bust though, because I totally got a card from my Mom asking me to be her Valentine.  

Last year, that was my only card.  I didn't even get a "Happy Valentine's Day" text from a dude.  Not even my brothers.  Or a guy friend.  No one.  And you know what?  I was ok with it.  I think later that night I ordered myself a pizza and watched TV.  It was the best.

Valentine's Day 2010:
This was the last year I was with my Former Domestic Partner.  And it was a Valentine's Day to remember. A couple weeks prior we had decided that I was going to move out and we were going to separate.  Which was super romantic.  Combine that and couples therapy...and it was a guaranteed good time.  (This was the Valentine's Day following The Christmas of The Waffle Iron...So you can imagine my mental state at the time.) At any rate, that year I got roses and chocolates.  WHICH WAS OFFENSIVE.  Why??  Because I'm anti-roses.  Very anti.  Everyone knows this.  He included.  He knew it so much so that he prefaced giving me my "gifts" saying:  "I know you hate roses..."  So he gets me the only thing that I don't want.  I asked him why he hated me.  Seriously, why?  Then I gave him his gift:  custom made cuff links with his initials...and the riot act.  I think I slept in one of the guest rooms that night.  Willingly.

Later on my mom calls and asks what I got.  I told her.  Then cried.  She said, "Honey, most girls like that stuff."  I told her I wasn't most girls and that he specifically knew that's the last thing that I wanted.  Also, after giving me the chocolates he got into them without my knowing and ate a bunch of them.  Basically, he ate all of the good ones and  I was left with the mysterious ones with the weird fillings.

Valentine's Day 2009:
Still will the Former Domestic Partner.  It was a Saturday and I had spent the whole day cooking.  Which is important to note:  I DON'T COOK.  Ever.  For any reason.  And this Valentine's Day I was literally cooking all day.  It was very unlike me.  It was a Saturday and I had spent the entire week out of town on business and I wanted to make it special.  And boy was it special.

So I cooked all day, cleaned, set the table, dimmed the lights, lit a crap load of candles, put on girly stuff that was lacy and therefore super itchy, drew up a bubble bath...THE WHOLE DEAL.  All of it.  No romantic stoned was unturned.

The Former Domestic Partner comes home hours and hours later.  I ended up just eating by myself, drinking a bottle of wine, and got into the bubble bath alone.  He comes home, walks into the bathroom, and then asks me what was going on.  He said, "Why are you in the bathroom, in the tub, in the dark, with a bottle of wine?"  Earlier I had lit a bunch of candles, but they had burned out because "earlier" was about 4 hours ago...when he was supposed to be there.  Additionally, I had drained the tub and I was just literally sitting in it.  With a bottle of wine.  In the dark.  Nude.  He then asks, "You didn't fill the tub up earlier did you?!"  Um, yeah.  I said, "Why else would we buy a house with a huge jacuzzi jet tub and not use it??!"  He then runs down to the lower level of the house and says "GET A BUCKET!!"

I had no idea what was going on.  Turns out, we had been having some plumbing issues and I wasn't supposed to use the tub.  Which I had no idea.  Because no one told me.  I went downstairs to an impromptu  pool party.  Water was gushing everywhere.  We got completely soaked and spent the next couple of hours cleaning it up.  Which was fun.

I would have cried, but it was too funny.  The Former Domestic Partner didn't see it this way.  He was not amused.

After a couple of hours cleaning up we went back upstairs and I showed him the lovely dinner I had made, told him it was really good, and then went to bed.  In the guest bedroom.  Willingly.  It was a Valentine's Day I hope to one day tell my grandchildren about.

Valentine's Day in 6th Grade:
The day before Valentine's Day I had broken up with my boyfriend, Smames Smarpenter* (*not his real name.)  It just wasn't working out.  We were looking for different things in life and my heart wasn't really in it.  So I passed him a note in Social Studies class to inform him of the dissolution of our union.

When I got to school on Valentine's Day his older brother (who was in 8th grade at the time) was standing at my locker.  As I approached him, he threw a heart shaped box at me and said it was from Smames.  I thought, "Wow, he's really taking this well...he still got me a gift...."  I turn the heart over and realize that he was in fact not taking it well.  And it wasn't really a gift.  What I had been given was:  one of those heart shaped plastic boxes that is usually filled with conversation hearts.  Usually.  However, in this instance, all of the conversation hearts had been removed and replaced with dog food.

I was livid.  Not because of the dog food.  But because I hadn't thought of it first.  What a genius idea.

So at any rate, that year my dog Annie, got a sweet gift.

Valentine's Day This Year:
I don't want to brag or anything, but I have three Valentine's this year.  One being my Mom (of course).  The other being my boo, Felix* (*not his real name).  And the third being my friend Smamber* (*not her real name.)

The boo and I have decided not to get gifts for each other.  Because I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day and either is he.  All I asked for was a love letter.  Supposedly, he's been working on one for a week...so we'll see.

A couple weeks ago I threatened his life if he got me any heart shaped jewelry.  I think he was more relieved than anything.  The only people that can get me heart shaped jewelry are my grandma and my mom.  Case closed.

Actually, the only heart shaped thing I ever want is a heart shaped pizza.  That's love right there.  (And also the precursor to Type 2 Diabetes...Which is a gift that keeps on giving.)

I got a little excited this year and gifted him/us with an early Valentine's Day present.  We really needed a plunger.  We have had a couple of bathroom situations and I highly doubt a heart shaped necklace could get the job done.  And because I am romantic, I of course made a card to go along with the plunger.  Evidence of my romantic side is below:

As you can see.  He's a lucky guy.

And because it's Valentine's Day, I would be rude not to include a couple of cards.  Below are all cards that I think are funny and would send to myself if I was dating myself.  Just call me a hopeless romantic.  Or just hopeless.

    
**all cards were retrieved from www.someecards.com

Let's Reflect:  What Have We Learned?
I'm not a fan of roses.
I'm not a fan of heart shaped jewelry.
I am a fan of heart shaped pizza.

So, I As You?
What are your feelings on Valentine's Day?  Do you have any stories of Valentine's Day past that you'd like to share?  What is the best/worst gift you've ever gotten??

Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted to Know in The First Place,

Miss Oakley

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My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be

Dear Readers,
I'm about to set it off.  Right now.

Lately, it seems like everyone is mad about something or wants to complain about how the world has mistreated them.

Everyone is upset about everything.

Which is fine, but seriously that's what a diary is for.  Not social media websites.

I've been taking a break from Facebook and Twitter and the online community as a whole lately because it's just too depressing.  If you want to instantly get bummed out, read status updates/tweets.

Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't state our feelings and get things out in the open.  All, I'm saying is there needs to be a specific social media website where you can go and complain.  My Proposal:  We call this website "Bitter".  It's like Twitter, but with more angst.  That way everyone that wants to be negative, can be surrounded by everyone else that wants to do the same.

It's not that I don't care about things that are going on in everyone's lives...I Do.  I really really do.  I want to know what's going on.  I just don't want to get bummed out on a daily basis.

Life is hard.  Trust me, I know.  I have at least 100 things I could and probably should complain about.  I've found that complaining doesn't do anything for me personally.  It solves nothing. I've gotten absolutely nowhere by complaining.

On a daily basis, I think we all are wronged at least ten times in some way.  Instead of focusing on how the world has mistreated me, I try to find ONE thing positive that happened in my day.  I focus on that.  It gives me strength to move on.

For example:  The other day I was having a Major Case of the Sads.  And got almost nothing on my "To Do" list done.  I called my Mom and told her I was having a tough time.  We decided that I needed to just do SOMETHING, ANYTHING.  So what did I decide to do??  I walked to my mailbox and got my mail.  Seriously.  This was the highlight of the day for me.  I'm not working and it's wintertime and super cold here. Which could turn even the most active person into a semi-hermit.  Up until walking to the mailbox, the day was going to be filed as "a bad day".  But after the walk, I decided there was no use in beating myself up about what I didn't get done that day.  Instead, I focused on what I DID get done:  I went on a walk and got the mail.

Every time I think about posting/tweeting something negative, I re-think it.  If I'm having a true issue, I call someone that loves me and I talk it out.  In my opinion, when I post things that are negative...it gives that negative statement/feeling the power.  I don't want to give it more power.  I want to take the power away.

Life is hard.  If I know anything about life, it is that it's all how you look at things.  We all go through horrible stuff and it's not fair.  I get it.

Complaining and letting bad things consume my mind does nothing for me.  If anything, it is paralyzing and it keeps me from moving forward.

A couple years I cam across this quote by Charles R. Swindoll:
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

After much reflection, I decided that I needed to adjust how I look at things.  Not everything is bad.  Even actual bad things do not have to be bad.  What can be bad is giving the bad things that happen even more power over my feelings.  Instead, I can choose to try to find the good in all things.  I have a choice not in what happens, but how I respond to what happens.  I can respond negatively and bitterly...Or...I can choose to try to find something good.

Like for example, this whole Waking-Up-To-Nothing-But-Saturdays-Thing/Being Unemployed.  It's been going on for 13 months now, and instead of complaining...I've embraced it.  I may never have this time again on my hands.  So I'm going to use it now, while I have it.  Being unemployed can be super depressing, but it doesn't have to be.
Nothing that happens to me has to be depressing/sad/negative.  How I respond to what happens to me is my choice.

I do this with working out too.  For example, last month I worked out 10 times.  Is that enough?  No.  Mathematically that works out to 2.5 times a week.  Which wasn't my goal.  However, I worked out 10 times.  Ten!!  How great is that!  I'm choosing to celebrate my minor successes and not give the power to all the days I didn't work out.

I'm really trying to look at life differently.  I'm trying to find the funny in the non-funny.  And the happy in the sad.

Years ago, I started a happy journal.  At the end of the day, I listed all the things that happened that made me happy.  Some days there were only one thing on the list (and I even had to struggle coming up with the one thing).  One day all I could write was:  "walking my dogs."  For a second I got sad, but then I thought of the dogs.  How happy they were to go on a walk.  That was the highlight of their day!  They were SO happy, and it all was because their dog mama took them on a walk.  Then I remembered a couple of cute things that they did on that walk.  After thinking about that one singular happy thing that happened in my day, I turned what was potentially a completely bad day, into a good one.  I went to bed that night with a smile on my face.

So what I'm saying is, I'm not going to contribute to negativity...Not on social networking sites...Not in the real world...and Not inside my own head.  I shall choose to embrace the negative...hug the crap out of it...and try to find small pieces of positivity in my day and celebrate those things instead.  


My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be.


What do you think??  Do you think life really all about what you make it??  Do you look for the good in the bad??  At the end of the day today will you reflect on all of the good things that happened, rather than the bad??

Forever, Blogging About My Life,

Miss Oakley

 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
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