My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be

Dear Readers,
I'm about to set it off.  Right now.

Lately, it seems like everyone is mad about something or wants to complain about how the world has mistreated them.

Everyone is upset about everything.

Which is fine, but seriously that's what a diary is for.  Not social media websites.

I've been taking a break from Facebook and Twitter and the online community as a whole lately because it's just too depressing.  If you want to instantly get bummed out, read status updates/tweets.

Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't state our feelings and get things out in the open.  All, I'm saying is there needs to be a specific social media website where you can go and complain.  My Proposal:  We call this website "Bitter".  It's like Twitter, but with more angst.  That way everyone that wants to be negative, can be surrounded by everyone else that wants to do the same.

It's not that I don't care about things that are going on in everyone's lives...I Do.  I really really do.  I want to know what's going on.  I just don't want to get bummed out on a daily basis.

Life is hard.  Trust me, I know.  I have at least 100 things I could and probably should complain about.  I've found that complaining doesn't do anything for me personally.  It solves nothing. I've gotten absolutely nowhere by complaining.

On a daily basis, I think we all are wronged at least ten times in some way.  Instead of focusing on how the world has mistreated me, I try to find ONE thing positive that happened in my day.  I focus on that.  It gives me strength to move on.

For example:  The other day I was having a Major Case of the Sads.  And got almost nothing on my "To Do" list done.  I called my Mom and told her I was having a tough time.  We decided that I needed to just do SOMETHING, ANYTHING.  So what did I decide to do??  I walked to my mailbox and got my mail.  Seriously.  This was the highlight of the day for me.  I'm not working and it's wintertime and super cold here. Which could turn even the most active person into a semi-hermit.  Up until walking to the mailbox, the day was going to be filed as "a bad day".  But after the walk, I decided there was no use in beating myself up about what I didn't get done that day.  Instead, I focused on what I DID get done:  I went on a walk and got the mail.

Every time I think about posting/tweeting something negative, I re-think it.  If I'm having a true issue, I call someone that loves me and I talk it out.  In my opinion, when I post things that are negative...it gives that negative statement/feeling the power.  I don't want to give it more power.  I want to take the power away.

Life is hard.  If I know anything about life, it is that it's all how you look at things.  We all go through horrible stuff and it's not fair.  I get it.

Complaining and letting bad things consume my mind does nothing for me.  If anything, it is paralyzing and it keeps me from moving forward.

A couple years I cam across this quote by Charles R. Swindoll:
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

After much reflection, I decided that I needed to adjust how I look at things.  Not everything is bad.  Even actual bad things do not have to be bad.  What can be bad is giving the bad things that happen even more power over my feelings.  Instead, I can choose to try to find the good in all things.  I have a choice not in what happens, but how I respond to what happens.  I can respond negatively and bitterly...Or...I can choose to try to find something good.

Like for example, this whole Waking-Up-To-Nothing-But-Saturdays-Thing/Being Unemployed.  It's been going on for 13 months now, and instead of complaining...I've embraced it.  I may never have this time again on my hands.  So I'm going to use it now, while I have it.  Being unemployed can be super depressing, but it doesn't have to be.
Nothing that happens to me has to be depressing/sad/negative.  How I respond to what happens to me is my choice.

I do this with working out too.  For example, last month I worked out 10 times.  Is that enough?  No.  Mathematically that works out to 2.5 times a week.  Which wasn't my goal.  However, I worked out 10 times.  Ten!!  How great is that!  I'm choosing to celebrate my minor successes and not give the power to all the days I didn't work out.

I'm really trying to look at life differently.  I'm trying to find the funny in the non-funny.  And the happy in the sad.

Years ago, I started a happy journal.  At the end of the day, I listed all the things that happened that made me happy.  Some days there were only one thing on the list (and I even had to struggle coming up with the one thing).  One day all I could write was:  "walking my dogs."  For a second I got sad, but then I thought of the dogs.  How happy they were to go on a walk.  That was the highlight of their day!  They were SO happy, and it all was because their dog mama took them on a walk.  Then I remembered a couple of cute things that they did on that walk.  After thinking about that one singular happy thing that happened in my day, I turned what was potentially a completely bad day, into a good one.  I went to bed that night with a smile on my face.

So what I'm saying is, I'm not going to contribute to negativity...Not on social networking sites...Not in the real world...and Not inside my own head.  I shall choose to embrace the negative...hug the crap out of it...and try to find small pieces of positivity in my day and celebrate those things instead.  


My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be.


What do you think??  Do you think life really all about what you make it??  Do you look for the good in the bad??  At the end of the day today will you reflect on all of the good things that happened, rather than the bad??

Forever, Blogging About My Life,

Miss Oakley

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