Junior High Was Rough: And I Now Would Like To Talk About It

Dear Readers,

I"m the one on the far left, in the black t-shirt.

I was going to blog about something totally different today...but then yesterday a childhood girlfriend posted THIS picture (on the right) on Facebook.  I have put the blog I was writing on hold.  For, I need to share some highly personal and definitely awkward information regarding my Junior High experience.

Oh, I'm in the far left, in the black basketball T-Shirt.

To say Junior High was hard for me would be an understatement.   A VAST understatement.  It was the worst.  I think middle school was tough for most of us.  It definitely was for me.  I still have flashbacks.  And naturally, I want to share some of these flash backs with you.

I have so many stories about Middle School that I could write a book.  No.  A series of books.  

ALL of my Junior High stories are awkward.  And therefore, I would like to share a couple of those stories with you, my dear readers.


First, You Need to Know Some Back History:
In order to fully appreciate the awkwardness that was my Junior High experience I need to explain my situation leading up to Junior High.

Kindergarten through 5th Grade was spent at a Baptist church/school.  Instead of "Science" class we had "Bible" class.  I wore nothing but dresses up until the 5th Grade.  Most were home-made or from a garage sale.  Ok, ALL of them were home-made or from a garage sale.

My family was not wealthy.  Quite the opposite.  Actually, definitely the opposite.  We were non-wealthy.  This school wasn't your typical "private school".  It was basically a couple of kids getting their learn on in the basement of a church.

An example of our non-wealth:  All my underwear was purchased at yard sales.

Your perspective on life changes when you wear another person's underwear.   

There were A LOT of rules at this particular school.  I'm actually pretty sure it was a cult.  My mom says it wasn't.  But seriously, all signs point to cult.

At any rate, I learned A LOT about the Bible, and very little about anything else from Kindergarden-5th Grade.

The rules were borderline irrational at this place.  No.  Completely irrational.  No music, No TV, No Makeup, No Pants...NO FUN basically.  That's not to say that I didn't experience any of those things.  You tell a bunch of kids they can't listen to rap and then FORBID it??  With the consequence being corporal punishment??  The end result:  A BUNCH OF KIDS ARE GOING TO SMUGGLE IN RAP MUSIC.  Which we did.  And this is where my love of  rap started.  The Notorious B.I.G. was forbidden.  So naturally, I was all over it.

Ok, let me get back to whatever point I was trying to make...Which is:  Up until the 5th Grade I did not attend a regular public school and was totally clueless entering Junior High.  Also, I may or may have been in a cult situation leading up to Junior High.

Maybe it wasn't a cult, and just hardcore Baptist??  I don't know, it felt cult-ish.  Seriously.  I don't know.  I've looked into it heavily and there's no way or really knowing.  I'm just going to go with it.  This is honestly how I perceived it to be.  My perception is my reality.  Others may not see it the same way.  Namely, my mother.  At any rate, it was definitely a different experience.  (**I'd like to note here that this was not my choice, as I was a child.  I would not knowingly be in a cult.  When you're 5 years old however , you do what you're told.)  

After a series of unfortunate events at the church/school my parents decided it was time for us to join society and go to public school.  I'm guessing the series of events were do to the fact that we were in a cult.

I can guarantee when my mom reads this she is going to take REAL ISSUE with what I'm saying.  Regardless of what she says, it doesn't change anything.  It happened.  At the time, I know she thought she was doing what was best.  And you know what??  I'm a better person because of it.  Not because of the whole church/Bible thing...


But because of the fact that we were the opposite of wealthy...Which led to me wearing other people's underwear...And after wearing drawers that aren't yours...Combined with being in a cult....You develop a good sense of humor about:  EVERYTHING.

I laughed a lot during Kindergarten through 5th Grade.

Here comes the part where I enter the 6th Grade/Public school for the first time.  Also, the first time I wore something that wasn't a home-made/from a yard sale.

I remember that first day of middle school like it was yesterday.

Here's What I Wore On My First Day:
A Neon Green T-Shirt (tucked in of course...it was the early 90's.)
Black Lee Jean Shorts.
Scrunched Up Socks (2 pairs...again it was the early 90's.)
A White Pair of Keds.
A Gigantic Scrunchie.

I think in addition to my travesty of an outfit I had a home perm.  And Bangs.  That I curled and then feathered.  My outfit/hair/vibe was offensive.  I had no idea what I was doing.

Not me

Things spiraled out of control from there.  MAINLY WITH MY BODY.

I got braces.  And not like the "cool braces".  But the kind of braces that requires you to wear head gear.  For anyone that has never seen some head gear, take a gander at the photo on the right.  This isn't me.  This is what you find when you google "head gear".  I had to wear something similar to school.

I wore these braces for five straight years.  All of Junior High and most of High School.  It was awesome.

(Another thing that I'm just remembering is my Orthodontist.  That often kissed me on the mouth...)

SO.....MANY.....MEMORIES......

As I write this, I'm just glad that I'm a fully functional adult.  Things could have gone in a whole different way.

Ok so I rocked really bad braces and head gear.

Additionally, I had a bad case of acne.  Real bad.  So bad that there had to be medical intervention.

I also had what is considered a full on unibrow and mustache.  I didn't realize this for quite some time.  A nice boy on the bus pointed out my 'stache one day.  After he pointed out, it was followed by me crying for several hours and THEN SHAVING MY ENTIRE FACE with a blunt Bic razor.

My mom worked a lot and therefore was rarely home.  So all-things-girl-related I just took into my own hands.  I don't have any sisters, only younger brothers.  And like most younger brothers...I knew they didn't have any ideas of what to do with a sixth grade girl sporting a mustache...so I didn't ask them.  I just shaved my face.

Later, I wondered if this was the best decision.

There was no way of knowing.

I Got All of My Information on How to Be a Girl From:
A) Personal Trial and Error
B) Teen Magazines
C) A Combo of Both

I honestly learned everything I know about all girly things from magazines.  One day I learned that you could bleach your mustache.  So I ordered the bleach.  For the next couple of years, I was the proud owner of a bleached mustache, and not the regular kind.  (Later I discovered waxing and went in that direction.)

**Also, it is important to note:  Due to the above stated fact of our non-wealth related status I didn't actually buy theses magazines.  I just read them at a friend's house or in the line at the grocery store.  So sometimes I didn't get the full "story" which led to additional trial and error.

Now, that I think of it.  I had a lot of body hair issues.

Like my legs.  Does anyone remember the show "Harry and the Hendersons??"  Yeah, my leg hair was kind of like that.  So one day I decided to shave.  Without water or shaving creme or anything.  That didn't work out.  Turns out, you shouldn't shave your dry legs with a razor.  Who knew??  Definitely not me.  Why??  Because I didn't read about it in "Teen Beat" or "Word Up!" magazine.  

Ok so in addition to the hair, the acne, and the braces...I hit puberty.

Which was fun.

You know how the voices of young males change as they get to a certain age??

Well, so did mine.  I have no idea why.  (Honestly I think I had some type of hormonal imbalance.  Which you needed to know.)

My favorite memory of middle school was this one day in band class.  I was telling someone what I thought to be something witty.  A classmate heard me talk and to everyone said "Who is the new guy??!!"

That "guy"??  Me.

He and I remain friends to this day.

There were many things that did not work in my favor leading up and throughout Junior High.  The one thing that did work in my favor however, was happening to have the ability to laugh at things and having a decent sense of humor.  Which was developed because of the above stated cult affiliation.

Oh, memories.

Luckily, for you readers, I have always written.  Which means that some of these tales are in my Junior High diary.  And I'm 100% my stories are awkward.  I'm also 100%, I'll share them with you.

For today though, I think this concludes my segment on stories of awkwardness.

Let's Reflect, What Have We Learned?

• Laughing is better than crying.
• I am recovering from several body hair incidents.
• Wearing drawers that aren't yours, gives you a different perspective on life.

So, I Ask You?
Was Junior High awkward for you??  Did you ever have a pair of white Keds??  Do you or have you ever had a mustache??



Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted To Know About In The First Place,
Miss Oakley

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