These Are My Confessions: In The Form of a Song by Usher

Dear Readers,

I wanted to share with you something that you didn't ever think you would want to know.  Today, a beautiful song by the Grammy award winning artist Usher has been turned into a personal confession by yours truly.

Side Note:  Yesterday I tweeted Usher to tell him that his cologne "UR" is the bomb.  I got it for my boo for Christmas.  I'm telling you...this stuff is amazing.  If you don't believe me, go and sniff it for yourself.  You should be buying this stuff by the gallons.  If I could shower in it, I would.    

At any rate, after my tweet yesterday I was inspired to do a remix of Usher's "Confessions Part II" song.


(**If you aren't familiar with the song/lyrics just play the YouTube video below.)

"Confessions Part II"

Watch this...

Read this

[Chorus:]

These are my confessions 

These are my confessions

Just when I thought I said all I could say

Just when I blogged all I thought I could say

My chick on the side said she got one on the way

I was reminded of this song and decided to confess some stuff.  I don’t have a chick on the side.  Therefore, one is not on the way.

These are my confessions

But I’m still going to confess some stuff.

Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do

Man I’m grown and sometimes I still don't know what to do.

I guess I gotta give part 2 of my confessions

I guess I gotta write some more stuff and confess things.

If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all

If I’m gonna tell a bunch of awkward stuff to my readers, then I might as well tell it all.

Damn near cried when I got that phone call

Sometimes, I want to cry when I get phone calls.  From my mom.  She calls often.

I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do 

I'm so awkward and I would like to share it with you.

But to give you part 2 of my confessions

It’s actually part one of my confessions.

[Verse 1]

Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do

This is definitely not the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  Hardest thing I ever had to do was pull a hair wad/baby out of a clogged shower drain.  No one ever sings about that.  Weird. 

Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you

I talk to myself a lot.  I live alone.  Who else am I going to talk to?

'bout that chick on part 1 I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with

I’ve never crept in my life.  I’ve never had a shorty on the side.  I’m a serial monogamist. 

Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it

 Do you know who is actually pregnant?  Beyonce and Jessica Simpson. 

The first thing that came to mind was you

The first thing that comes to my mind in the morning is getting after some grub.  I turn into a total grouch if I don’t eat in the AM. 

Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true

Second thing I do in the am is read the news.  And by news I mean blogs. 

Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did

Third thing I do is give myself a major pep talk. (**Please refer to the blog post "Stuff I Do to Get the Stinkin Out of My Thinkin") 

How I ain't ready for no kid and bye bye to our relationship

I do someday want to have children.  Not right at the moment.  Either way, it’s not going to change anything in my relationship at this current time.

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]

Sittin here stuck on stupid, tryna figure out

I definitely am trying to figure a bunch of stuff out.  Things such as:  What color high lites should I get?  What should I wear on New Years Eve?  Is blue eyeshadow for me?  Do I need a puppy?  I wonder how high I could jump in the air with a pogo stick?  I wonder if they still even sell those things?  They seems like a safety hazard…

When, what, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth

I never worry about what I am going to say.  I just ramble on and on.

Said it ain't gon' be easy

Nothing is easy.  If it was we’d all be doing it.

But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin'

I really do need to stop thinkin and contemplatin eating some delicious baked goods right now.  Not something I should be doing if I want to fit in my pants.

Be a man and get it over with (over with)

I can’t be a man.  Well not without surgery.  So, this line doesn’t apply to me.

I'm ridin' in my whip

Lately, I’ve been riding in my boo’s whip.  Which is a Prius.  I highly recommend one.  Additionally, and I know Usher will appreciate this…they have wicked sound system.

Racin' to her place

I haven’t raced to any place in years.  (**Please refer to the blog post "That One Time I Registered for a Marathon.)

Talkin' to myself

I’ve already mentioned how I talk to myself often.

Preparin' to tell her to her face

Face to face communication is the most effective form in my opinion.  Especially, if you are going to tell someone you’re having a baby with someone that is not her. 

She open up the door and didn't want to come near me

Well I wouldn’t want to come near you either.  Not really a “hugging” situation.  I can’t believe she opened the door.  I wouldn't have.

I said "one second baby please hear me"

This is going to take more than one second.  She's not a hot pocket.  You can't just put her in the microwave for a couple of minutes and it's done.  This is going to take some time to explain.  If this were my boo he'd be explaining for A WHILE.  A LONG WHILE.  

[Chorus]

[Breakdown]

This by far is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do

Writing this blog post is not the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  Dealing with the above mentioned hair-baby in the shower drain was.

To tell you, the woman I love

I tell my lover a lot of stuff.  He’s super lucky.

That I'm having a baby by a woman that I barely even know

I am not having a baby by a woman that I barely even know.  Physically impossible due to the fact that I myself am a woman.  Unless I was a surrogate.  

I hope you can accept the fact that I'm man enough to tell you this

I hope you readers can accept the fact that I’m woman enough to tell you that this blog is a mess.

And hopefully you'll give me another chance

And hopefully you all will give me another chance.

This ain't about my career

This isn’t my career.  However, if blogging was my career I'd love it.  Fact is:  I can't pay my bills with "hugs"...And believe me...I've tried. 

This ain't about my life

This actually is ALL ABOUT MY LIFE.  Mainly stories of awkwardness other observations.

It's about us

It is about us.  It's about this blog and your eyes.  Together.  Reading.  

Please

Please read my next blog post.

[Chorus]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's Reflect, What Did We Learn:

• I successfully turned a perfectly good song into a train wreck...to the tune of my own personal confession.
• Beyonce and Jessica Simpson are pregnant.  I am not.
• Hugs don't pay the bills.  

So, I Ask You?

Do you think I turned this song into a travesty??  Are removing wads of hair babies from your shower the hardest thing you have had to do??  Do you believe that "hugs" should be turned into an international form of currency that could eventually replace money as we know it??

Forever, Turning Songs Into Lyrical Masterpieces,

Miss Oakley

 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.

 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.

 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...

          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley