Transitions: From Miss to Ma'am

Dear Readers,


There is more information I feel I need to share with you.  As always, this is based on factual information and with much research.  The facts are my life and the research has be done by me...on myself.


I need to go to Target and get a couple things...(bananas, gum, moisturizer)...you know... important stuff.  


This post isn't about my shopping list.  I need to explain my thought process that compelled me to write this thing...


So I'm in my apartment making a shopping list...When BOOM I have a flashback of something that went down at Target a couple years ago.


Let me set the scene for you.


Here's an Outline of My Recollection of the Scenery:

• The Target:  the one on Mills Civic (in West Des Moines...Iowa).  It's a Super Target actually.  So you can literally get everything there.  food, kitty litter, a bedspread, a coordinating rug to the bedspread if so desired...etc.
• The Weather:  I remember I was wearing sweat pants.  So it could have been any day really.  Let's just say it the temperature was moderate that day.
• The Time:  I know it was at dusk.  I don't like driving in the dark.
• The Location:  The exact location was the check out line.
• My Haircut:  Horrible.  I'm just describing what I remember.  I had a horrible haircut, fact.
• My Age:  At the time I was 28. 

Now that I've set the scene, I need to tell you about the actual event that occurred.

Here's What Went Down at Target:
Me:  purchase important things such as bananas, gum, moisturizer...
Me:  Swipe debit card for payment
Teenage Checkout Boy with Recent Highlights and Clearly a Spray Tan:  "Uh, Ma'am do you want cash back?"
Me:  Looks at him blankly
Teenage Checkout Boy with Recent Highlights and Clearly a Spray tan: "Ma'am??"
Me:  Looks behind myself.
Me:  Looks around for this "Ma'am" he's talking to.
Me:  Realizes that I am the "Ma'am".
Me:  Heart sinks knowing my days of being referred to as "Miss" are numbered.
Me:  "No, thank you.  I don't need any cash back."  I would however would like you to take that comment back. (Which I didn't say...but I thought it...LOUDLY...in my head though...but still it was loud.)


**It is important to note that this was the first time I have ever been referred to as "Ma'am".  Up until this point I had always been "Miss"...


I keep my act together like the adult that I am and go out to my car.  I then talk myself out any type of emotional theatrics.  I crank up Snoop Dogg in my car and drive home.

I'm ok until I get home...up until I got to into the bathroom.  I was putting away the Target stuff...Then...I glanced at myself in the mirror on the way out:

What I had a glimpse of was a 28 year old me...with a wicked bad haircut.

Then it turned into a One-Way-Ticket-To-Cry-Town.  No stops, no layovers

I BOO-HOO it up.  I start cried like it was my job.

(I would like to point out that I rarely ever cry...however, I realize that a lot my posts involve me crying....On a regular day the only thing that makes me cry are those ASPCA commercials with the sad looking dogs...Other than that, I'm pretty solid.)


So I'm crying like it's nobody's business.  I'm home alone, so who cares.


This will be just between me and the mirror.  


Then...I hear the garage door open....Which meant my former domestic partner was now home. 


He walks into the house expecting to encounter a rational person.

He does not.

Here's What He Finds:
He finds me in the bathroom.  I have my face two inches from the mirror and I'm crying like no other.  My first words to him were:
Me:  "Do you still think I'm a Miss??"
Former Domestic Partner:  Has no idea what I'm talking about.
Me:  "DO I LOOK LIKE A MISS OR A MA'AM??"  
Former Domestic Partner:  Shakes his head with disbelief and with knowing exactly what went down, "Oh no...What now...Who called you a Ma'am?  Tell me what happened."


I tell him what happened.  He laughs.  And to make me feel better he says, "You realize you are crying about some teenage boy that probably needed a work permit to even get a job there...that called you ma'am instead of miss right?"  He does not get the seriousness of the situation. He has no idea what the Miss-to-Ma'am transition is like.  Guys don't have to deal with this. 


I then call all my friends and ask them if they've been called "Ma'am"??  They too, had experienced this atrocity. 


So I've been in the transition of going from "Miss" to "Ma'am" for a couple years now.  I successfully went from the whole Girl-to-Miss thing...So I think can do this


So Let's Reflect:  What Did We Learn?

• Obviously, I'm still letting all this settle in.  I mean c'mon...I named this blog "Observations by MISS Oakley".  I wasn't going to call it "Observations by a Former Miss and Now a Ma'am, Oh and My Last Name is Oakley."  It didn't feel right. 
• Transitioning from Miss to "Ma'am" is a turning point in a woman's life.  Hallmark should make a card to mark the event.
• I need to go to Target and get some things.

So I ask you:  (If you are female) Has this ever happened to you??  How did it make you feel?  (If you are male) Have you ever called a lady "Ma'am" without thought to whether or not she may be in fact a "Miss"?? Should Hallmark make a card to recognize such milestones in life such as the "Miss to Ma'am" transition??


Forever, Blogging About Things I Feel You Should Know,
Miss Oakley

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