An Open Letter to Bruno Mars/Society As A Whole

Dear Readers,

I feel compelled to share something with you today that you never knew you wanted to know.  You do not need to know the song I'm talking about...or even who Bruno Mars is.  You don't even have to like pop music to understand what I'm about to talk about.


What I would like to discuss today are the nonsensical songs/lyrics that I've heard recently.  Apparently anyone can sing about anything.  No questions asked.


Well I'm asking questions.

The song "Grenade" (by Bruno Mars) came out a while ago, but I still feel the need to share why this song concerns me.  


When it first came out, I liked it.  It had a catchy tune and I found myself singing along to it whenever it came on.  Then one day, after hearing it 300 times in a row...I stopped singing along.  Why did I stop??  I actually listened to the lyrics.


For whatever reason, the 300th time I heard this song I realized how invalid the whole concept of the song was.


I think part off this is my age.  I used to sing along with everything and never questioned the validity of a song's lyrics.  As I get older, I become more and more concerned as to the lack of thought that is put into the lyrics of pop songs.  (That doesn't keep me from listening though.)


For example:  There's this song out by Chris Brown/New Boyz called "Better With the Lights Off."  Basically, he's telling ladies that  they are more attractive in the dark.  When I heard this song for the first time, I was aghast.  Who does he think he is??!!  I spent some time researching (jacking around on the Internet) to try and get to the bottom of this.  I thought maybe I was hearing it wrong or possibly misinterpreting it...But then I came across the video for it...And no, they are in fact signing about women being better looking with the lights off.  I wanted to analyze the lyrics to this song on my blog...but it's a family audience and this isn't the place.  I thought about posting the video...but then I think that would somehow promote it.  So I'm just going to ignore the whole song altogether.  And you should too.  


What I did post (see below) is the video for "Grenade".  Just in case you somehow forgot it or have been living in a bunker in Antarctica for the last year.

And now on to the lyrical break down of "Grenade":
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"Grenade":  By Bruno Mars

Easy come, easy go  
So far so good.

That's just how you live, oh Take, take, take it all
Take what?

But you never give  
We don't know what she took in the first place, so how could we know what she should give??

Should've known you was trouble.  From the first kiss
Well if you knew she was trouble right from the start...then why didn't you bounce and get out of there??

 Had your eyes wide open.  Why were they open?  
Yeah, why were they open?

[Bridge]
Gave you all I had  
Why would you do that?! It sounds like you barely know this girl!  it's a little premature to be giving some girl you hardly know all your belongings.

And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, you did
Maybe she didn't have room at her place for all of your stuff?  Did you think of that?

To give me all your love.  Is all I ever asked
That's kind of a lot to ask from a girl that just threw away all your gear.  You might be jumping the gun on this one.

Cause what you don't understand Is

[Chorus]
I'd catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Where are you and your girl hanging out at that you're having grenades thrown at you??  This doesn't sound like a place you'd take a date.

Throw my hand on a blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
A blade??  What do you mean A BLADE?!  Like one of those Chinese throwing stars??  This is turning into a Ninja situation.

I'd jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
The train industry really isn't booming right now.  Plus there are a ton of signs that indicate there is a train about to come and or that there are tracks in the area.  Throwing yourself in front of a train is unnecessary and unwarranted.  

You know I'd do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Would you??  Would you meet her entire family and spend the holidays with them??  Would you go purse shopping with her??  What about antiquing??  Would you do that??

 I would go through all this pain
There seems to be a lack of trust and some boundary issues going on in this relationship.  Most of this stuff you brought upon yourself.  So I'm honestly questioning your displaced blame here.

Take a bullet straight through my brain
Alright, seriously.  Where are you guys hanging out at??  You should not bring your boo to places where they are shooting at you.  That's not date material.  Ladies, If your dude is taking you out to places where you could potentially be shot...You need to re-evaluate your relationship.  This may not be the one for you.  

Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same
Dude, she threw all your stuff away.  I highly doubt she's gonna take one for the team.  

No, no, no, no


Black, black, black and blue
Beat me 'til I'm numb
Ok, someone needs to alert the authorities.  Clearly, this has now turned into a Domestic violence kind of situation. 

Tell the devil I said "Hey" when you get back to where you're from
Wow, telling you're girl she's evil probably isn't going to get you any brownie points.  

Mad woman, bad woman
That's just what you are
This really isn't helping your cause Bruno.  I would have gone a different route if I was you at this point in the song.

Yeah, you smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car
Seriously, the situation is now unsafe.  Why are you taking grenades for a girl who is ripping the breaks out of your car??  

[Bridge]
Gave you all I had
We already talked about this.  Why are you giving her all of your stuff?  You just said she's trying to rip the breaks out of your car.  This doesn't make sense.  If someone is trying to kill you, the last thing you should be doing is giving them all of your stuff.  The only thing you should be giving her is a piece of your mind.  Or a restraining order.

And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, yes you did

What do you expect??  She obviously doesn't respect you if she's throwing all your gear away.   

To give me all your love
Is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand
Is
What I don't understand is...THIS ENTIRE SONG.  It makes no sense.  The two of you do not like one another.  You shouldn't be together.  This song should have ended.  The police should be there by now assessing the situation...

But no...there's more grenades and blades being thrown...

[Chorus]
I'd catch a grenade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do you have any military experience?  Because only someone with that type of experience should be catching grenades.  I'm no expert on the military.  But I'm certain that your average cat on the street has no business catching a grenade.

Throw my hand on the blade for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Alright, so you're either a Ninja that is having Chinese throwing starts thrown at you...Or you're a Chef.  A chef who likes to chop vegetables...and that is willing...for whatever reason...to throw his hand on top of a knife for his Boo.  I'm going to  go with Ninja...Only because of the Chinese stars.  


I'd jump in front of a train for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
What kind of train?  Are we talking Choo-Choo train?  Or are we talking Amtrak?  I guess you could also be talking about the El or the Subway.  But they make it really really hard for you to throw yourself in front of one of those things.  It would have to be a rare accident if that were to ever happen.  Trains/subways are clearly marked and monitored.  So I still think a "train" is just a poor choice for a mode of transportation to throw yourself in front of...to show your girl what she means to you.  If you really wanted to be brave you'd throw yourself in front of a horse or a bull or something.  Just get stampeded to death.  That would show her. 

You know I'd do anything for you (yeah, yeah, yeah)
We get it.  You'd do a lot of things.  Most of which are impossible and therefore invalid.

I would go through all this pain
What's painful...is this song.  You should read...and then interpret the lyrics to your own song.  Now that's pain son.

Take a bullet straight through my brain
Clearly, you're not hanging out at the right places.  Which might be why she's throwing all your stuff away.

Yes, I would die for you, baby
But you won't do the same
Neither one of you should be dying!  You're on a date!  Go to an Applebees or something!!


If my body was on fire.  You would watch me burn down in flames
Again, where are you taking this girl??  A war zone??  If you're body is on fire the best thing to do is stop, drop, and roll.  I think we all learned this in first grade.

You said you loved me, you're a liar
Cause you never ever ever did, baby
I think at one point she may have loved you...but then you started taking her to places where grenades and blades were being thrown at her.  Call me a hopeless romantic, but that's just not the ideal date location.  You could of taken her anywhere.  But you are picking spots where she's getting shot at.  I've been on a couple of bad dates myself, but this one...takes the prize.  

Alright and then there's more singing about grenades, pain, and how she wouldn't take a bullet for him... You know...the regular love song stuff.

I'm not going to review the rest of the song.  It would be redundant and I think we all get the point.  

But, darling, I'd still catch a grenade for you
Throw my hand on the blade for you
I'd jump in front of a train for you
You know I'd do anything for you

I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes I would die for you baby
But you won't do the same

No, you won't do the same
You wouldn't do the same
Ooh, you'd never do the same
Oh, no no no

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Let's Reflect:  What Did We Learn?

• Lyrically speaking this song is weak.  If you took his words literally then it is entirely nonsensical.  Now I have nothing against Bruno Mars, or pop music...I actually love really bad pop music...but my questionable taste in music isn't what we are discussing here.... I am seriously questioning the lyrical validity of songs being put out today.  
• If you are going to be catching grenades, you probably should have some sort of military experience.
• Do not give someone you hardly know, all of your belongings.

So, I Ask You?
Am I just getting older?  Or do you think music is becoming increasingly lyrically unauthentic??  Should we be listening to this stuff??  Is it your belief that you probably shouldn't give someone you barely know all of your stuff??

Forever, Blogging About Things You Never Knew You Wanted to Know,

 Miss Oakley

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