Bitter.com: Like Twitter, but with more Angst.

Dear Readers,
(I wrote this last winter.  When I was Waking up to Nothing but Saturday's...I never published it...Until now...)

It seems like everyone is mad about something or wants to complain about how the world has mistreated them.  Everyone is upset about everything.

Which is fine, but...that's what a DIARY is for...And real live friends/family...Probably not social media websites.

Sometimes I contemplate taking a break from Facebook and Twitter because it's a downer.  If you want to instantly get bummed out, read a couple status updates/tweets from that friend that likes to complain.

Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't state our feelings and get things out in the open.  (Obviously, I'm in grad school to be a Therapist, I'm all about feelings.)  All, I'm saying is there needs to be a specific social media website where you can go and complain.  My Proposal:  We call this website "Bitter".  It's like Twitter, but with more angst.  That way everyone that wants to be negative, can be surrounded by everyone else that wants to do the same.  (Here's a fun fact: If you try to go to bitter.com you are re-directed to Burger King's website...So, at least Burger King has a sense of humor??)

It's not that I don't care about things that are going on in everyone's lives..I Do.  I really do.  I WANT to know what's going on.  I just don't want to get unnecessarily bummed out when I log on to Facebook to look at pictures of your cute pets and instead read about the ailments of your day.  That's not what I signed up for.

Life is hard.  I get it.

On a daily basis, I think we all are wronged  on average... approximately 10 times (totally did the research for that fact.)  Instead of focusing on how the world has mistreated me, I try to find ONE thing positive that happened in my day.  I focus on that.  It gives me strength to move on.

For example:  I recall having a Major Case of the Sads a while back.  It was a day that I got almost nothing on my "To Do" list done.  I called my Mom and told her I was having a tough time.  Like a legitimately tough time.  We decided that I needed to just do SOMETHING, ANYTHING.  So what did I decide to do??  I walked to my mailbox and got my mail.  Seriously.  This was the highlight of the day for me.  I wasn't working and it was winter time and super cold here. Which could turn even the most active person into a semi-hermit.

Every time I think about posting/tweeting something negative, I re-think it.  If I'm having a true issue, I call someone that loves me and I talk it out.

In my opinion, when I post things that are negative...it gives that negative statement/feeling the power.  I don't want to give it more power.  I want to take the power away.

Life is hard.  If I know ANYTHING it is that it's all how you look at things.  We all go through horrible stuff and it's mostly not fair.

Complaining and letting bad things consume my mind does nothing for me.  If anything, it is paralyzing and it keeps me from moving forward.

A couple years I cam across this quote by Charles R. Swindoll:
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

After much reflection, I decided that I needed to adjust how I look at things.  Not everything is bad.  Even actual bad things are not that bad when looked at from the right perspective.  What can be bad is giving the bad stuff even more power over my feelings than it already has.  Bad things happen, but I can choose to try to find the good in all things.  I have a choice in not what happens, BUT HOW I RESPOND.  I can respond negatively and bitterly...OR...I can choose to try to find something good.  It is not the actual event...It is my Response to that event that is important.

Like for example, this whole Waking-Up-To-Nothing-But-Saturdays-Thing/being unemployed.  It's been going on for 13 months now, and instead of complaining...I've embraced it.  I may never have this time again on my hands.  So I'm going to use it now, while I have it.  Being unemployed can be super depressing, but it doesn't have to be.

NOTHING THAT HAPPENS TO ME HAS TO BE DEPRESSING/SAD/NEGATIVE.  Everything that happens to me can just be something that happens.  That might be non-fun.  But it is when I define something as "horrible" that I give it the power to actually BE horrible.

I do this with working out too.  For example, last month I worked out 10 times.  Is that enough?  No.  Mathematically that works out to 2.5 times a week.  Which wasn't my goal.  However, I worked out 10 times.  Ten!!  How great is that?!  I'm choosing to celebrate my minor success and not give the power to all the days I didn't work out.

I'm really trying to look at life differently.  I'm trying to find the funny in the non-funny.  And the happy in the sad.  So far I like the new perspective.

Years ago, I started a happy journal.  At the end of the day, I listed all the things that happened that made me happy.  Some days there were only one thing on the list (and I even had to struggle coming up with the one thing).  One day all I could write was:  "walking my dogs."  For a second I got sad, but then I thought of the dogs.  How happy they were to go on a walk.  That was the highlight of their day!  They were so happy, and cute, and grateful that their momma took them on a long walk.  Then I remembered a couple of cute things that they did on that walk.  After thinking about that one singular happy thing that happened in my day, I turned what was potentially a completely bad day, into a good one.  I went to bed that night with a smile on my face.

So, I'm not going to contribute to negativity...not on social networking sites...and not in the real world either. I shall choose to embrace the negative...and hug the crap out of it...and try to find a small piece of positivity in the negative, and focus on that instead.


Miss Oakley