Stuff I've Done Over the Years to Deter The Opposite Sex

Dear Readers,

Per usual, I would like to share some stories of my life.  These are all things you never knew you wanted to know about me in the first place.

Words that have been used to describe me have been:  “eccentric”, “independent”, and “free spirited”. 

So needless to say, over the years I’ve done some things to not attract the opposite sex

(or people in general).  Some of it was on purpose, some of it wasn't.  You can decide.

Here’s a List of a Couple of Things I’ve Done to Deter Potential Suitors:

1.  Recently, I've been giving out the number to Domino’s to dudes instead of my actual phone number.  Why??

a) I have a boo...and...

b) That way they will get something out of the whole deal.  In this case, that “something” would be delicious pizza.

I’ve also given out:  just straight up random numbers (123-4567, 555-5555), my girl friends numbers, and in one instance my grandmother’s home phone number.  This sort of behavior worked when guys actually just called you, instead of texting you.  So I pulled this stunt a lot in college.

2.  I once bought myself an engagement ring.  It was fake so cool out.  I blame TJ Maxx. 

Side note: that place is like one huge awesome garage sale isn't it?? 

Anyway, I was at TJ Maxx and found this ring on clearance because it was an odd size.  So for $17 I got what looked to be like a legit wedding ring.

What I found was that this did absolutely nothing to discourage men.  Apparently, being engaged/married does nothing to stop someone from approaching you.  In fact I think it actually increased the number of potential suitors.  So this tactic did not work.  But…

I did pull one over on my family one year at Thanksgiving.  I flashed the ring around and made an entire announcement. Naturally, my family was completely stunned.  After their initial shock I could see that a couple of them were relieved.  They finally were going to get me off their hands. 

Then, I yelled out: “SIKE!!!!” 

Yeah, I really showed them…Wait…

3.  Two words:  Cassandra Lockhart. 

This was my pseudo name since college.  Cassandra is now 26 (go with it please) and a teacher.  She lives in Des Moines...and has a lot of cats. 

I realize, making up an entirely different persona is completely passive aggressive behavior.  I’ve only done it on certain occasions when necessary...Mostly, in my early 20's.  My friends knew about Cassandra and sometimes they played along and made up their own names.  It was fun for all involved.  Except possibly, the guy that wanted to know my/their actual name(s).

4.  Wearing:  Sweatpants, Glasses, and or a Hat when going out in public.  Sometimes these three are worn in combination.

There just are days when I can’t be bothered to put an outfit together. These days sometimes happen to also fall on a day my friends want to go out and do something.  During these occasions, I warn them I’m coming “As Is”. 

 Last year I recall my girlfriends husband questioning my attire when I said I was “ready to go”.  I came out wearing a sweatsuit...

    

 We were on vacation, on a beach, and were going out (aka everyone was dressed up).  I made a compromise with him and put jeans on (but kept the sweatshirt). 

 In your face friends husband.

  

I  could go on and on about things that I've done.  But I think you get the point:  I'm awkward.


Let's Reflect:  What Have We Learned?

• I like to entertain myself by giving out Domino's number instead of my own to guys.
• TJ Maxx is like a large garage sale fill of possibilities.  You can even get fake wedding rights there.
• Most of my days are spent "AS IS", my friends and family have learned to deal with it.

So, I Ask You?

Is there anything that you do to deter possible suitors and or people in general??  If so, what??  Do  you think TJ Maxx is comparable to a large yard sale??  

Forever, Blogging About Stories Of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted To Know In The First Place,

Miss Oakley

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