Dear Kim Kardashian, Flour Isn't An Actual Problem

Per usual, I am blogging about things you never knew you wanted to know.  

Today I'm taking issue with Kim Kardashian's issue with Flour.

Last week, in what was most likely a PR tactic...
Poor Kim Kardashian had flour thrown on her.

FLOUR.


She now must decide whether or not to press charges.

The horror of it all.  I can't even imagine how she feels.  How can she even face the day??  If I was her...I'd be an emotional wreck...Just a total a shell of a person....If you can stomach it...Watch the video.  WARNING:  It's graphic.  Please don't watch in front of your children. Actually, no...Have your children watch this.  And then tell them if they ever grow up to be Kim Kardashian rich, to never become this ridiculous.

If flour was my biggest problem...You know what I'd do??

I'D TAKE THE FLOUR, MAKE A CAKE, THEN THROW MYSELF A PARTY.

Why??  Because, having flour thrown on you is not an actual problem.  And cake is delicious.

Here is a List of Actual Problems Kim Kardashian:
Poverty
Racism
Childhood Obesity
Type 2 Diabetes
Unemployment
A Senseless Murder Without Justice...AKA Treyvon Martin's Killing
Everything That's Happening in Syria

Kim Kardashian is now being faced with the difficult decision of whether or not to press charges on the flour "bomber".  Imagine if you had to make a decision like that??  How do you even wrap your mind around something like that?? How do you sleep at night knowing that the flour bomber is still out there??  How do you bravely continually step out into public knowing that at any moment...flour could be thrown on you??

Wait...These aren't actual problems.

So, Kim Kardashian is contemplating pressing charges against this horrible person who threw flour on her.

And I am contemplating pressing charges against anyone (who for reasons unknown is a millionaire) that would press charges against a thrower of flour.

America:  We need to unite.  We need to make sure things like this never happen again.

Wait, it was just flour.

America:  What we really need to do is:  Make sure things like Kim Kardashian never happen again.  Not even the flour incident.  The bigger problem is that she's even a celebrity in the first place, has millions of dollars, and so much influence that stories like this are termed as "News."

Let's Reflect, What Have We Learned?

• Flour is not an actual problem.
• Actual problems are actual problems.  
• Instead of pressing charges:  She needs to bake a cake and throw herself a party.  Because she needs to celebrate not having actual problems.  And because cake is delicious.

So, I Ask You?
Do you believe people throwing flour is the biggest problem we are facing right now??  What would you do if you had flour thrown on you??  Would you press charges??  Or would you bake a cake and celebrate?? 


Other Stories of Kim Kardashian's Life:
There Is Something I Need To Confess
Kobe Bryant, NBA Marriages, and Why I Never Married a Baller
The Iowa Caucus, Kim Kardashian's Clip On Bangs, and The Sugar Bowl

Forever, Blogging About Stuff You Never Knew You Wanted to Know in The First Place,

Miss Oakley

 **Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.

 **As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.

 **Should you wish to read more of my completely profound thoughts throughout the day...

          Follow me on Twitter @MissOakley 

**PS, If you're a fan of the blog you could become a "Follower" and have posts emailed to you.  It's a pretty elite and exclusive group of followers...so consider yourself lucky.  It's like winning the lottery...Except minus the money part.

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.

Dear Readers,  

Today in the news I read that gold prices have declined for the first time since January.  Which naturally, made me think of my childhood.  And subsequently, I felt compelled to share with you yet more details of my life that you never knew you wanted to know in the first place.

Why did the prices of gold prompt what I thought was a repressed memory??  Because my childhood was full of Gold.

Gold teeth.  

I come from a place where instead of investing in a 401k, you invest in yourself.  Specifically, in your mouth.  It's almost the safest place on your body.  Practically no one is going to get all up in your grill.  Except maybe your dentist.

I have a lot of stories from my childhood.  I have a lot of stories period.  My life is awkward.  And I've decided to embrace it.  Not only that, I've gone so far as to start over-sharing personal stories of my life.  (The main reason I started this blog.)

To make sense of the weird...I've always written.  Things have always been weird, so I've had more than enough material to work with.  I've just never shared my "writings."  Until now.

My childhood was full of inconsistency and most of what happened is completely unbelievable.  I wasn't raised by wolves...but worse...Myself.  My mom worked so much that my brothers and I just decided to wing it, raise ourselves, and see how we turned out.

Flash forward a couple of decades and my two brothers are successful and work with inanimate objects (airplanes).  I've had a great sales career and am now in grad school to be a Therapist.  We turned out alright.  One of the three has been through extensive therapy.  You can pick which one that was.

Ok, back to the teeth.

My mom isn't going to be a huge fan of this.  However, I'm sure I'll be lucky enough to have an adult daughter that will one day blog about her weird childhood.

Ok seriously, I need to get to the teeth.

So this morning as I'm reading about declining gold prices I'm reminded of the sound financial advice that I obtained from my parental units as a child.

As far as my parents financial planning strategies go, I'm not sure there was any sort of official strategy.  This is due to the fact that you'd have to have some actual money to strategize about.  Which, we did not.

Full Disclosure:  I wore underwear from garage sales.  I'm not even mad about it.  In fact, it's kind of funny?  (Not funny at the time though.)

Could my childhood situation have been worse??  DEFINITELY.  It could of been much worse.  Could it have been weirder??  Probably not.

Anyway, I'm trying to set the scene in regards to our level of un-wealth and therefore subsequent financial planning processes.  Or rather, lack thereof.

So as I'm reading about gold today I remember a tidbit of actual advice my Dad gave me one day.

In summary what he told me was:  One day, when I get older I need to put my money in a safe place.  The safest place he knew of was in your mouth.  He then goes and shows me his gold teeth.  He said they were worth a lot of money.  Additionally, it was in his viewpoint that your mouth is a really hard place for someone to steal from.  Although, he's had friends that have had theirs stolen.  (Yes, their teeth.)

So, I filed that under "Financial Planning" and went to college.  I decided I should get a degree in business.

Color me surprised when I learned in a Finance class that most people invest in these things called "stocks and bonds" and have "'401k's" and "IRA's" instead of a bunch of gold teeth.

I learned a lot.

Due to a phone call from my parents one day while in said college...I also learned that if you swallowed your investment accidentally it's hard to re-coup the profits.  You'll have to wait for a while, and it isn't pretty.  But it can be done.

In summary, I received some great financial advice from my parents:  Put your money where you mouth is.  However, this is not the same advice I received from my Finance professor in college.  It was a toss up, but in my professional career I opted for the 401k route...as gold teeth were never part of the benefit packages.

Let's Reflect, What Have We Learned?

• I lived through my childhood and received a lot of sound advice.
• Putting your money where you mouth is...Should probably not be taken literally.
• I have a 401k and no gold teeth.  

So, I Ask You?
What is the best financial advice your parents have given you??  Do you think gold teeth are good investments??  Are you surprised to find that I'm almost a fully functional adult??  

Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted to Know in The First Place,

Miss Oakley

 **Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.

 **As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.

 **Should you wish to read more of my completely profound thoughts throughout the day...

          Follow me on Twitter @MissOakley 

**PS, If you're a fan of the blog you could become a "Follower" and have posts emailed to you.  It's a pretty elite and exclusive group of followers...so consider yourself lucky.  It's like winning the lottery...Except minus the money part.

Eggs Are Delicious. Except After Their Expiration Date.

Dear Readers,

Today I wanted to share with you something you never knew you wanted to know about me.  I apologize to the millions of readers of this blog for not posting in a while.  I've been busy with grad school and trying to find a job...

Which brings me to the topic of the day:  EGGS.

Specifically, MY eggs.

As you may or may not know...I've been looking for a gig for a while.  Each day I get online and search for jobs.  And I don't know if you're aware of how the Internet works...(at least for me...)...You start searching for one thing online...With the purest intentions of being productive...and then 87 clicks and two hours later:  You've accomplished nothing.

Two Hours and 87 Clicks Later:

You've looked up the meaning of "eccentric" (because you're trying to find meaning in your life),
You've shopped for deals on lint rollers, 
You've looked up the lyrics to "Party Rock", 
You've watched no less than 10 videos of cute Siberian Husky puppies playing, 
You've looked at a friends 300 pictures of their vacation to Disney World, 
You've researched squat techniques, 
You've tweeted 30 non-nonsensical yet thought provoking things on twitter,
You've looked up just how long Jessica Simpson has been pregnant for (I feel like it's been 2 years),
You've found out The Situation has entered rehab,
You've learned of Jeb Bush's endorsement for Mitt Romney, 
You've looked for an Etch-A-Sketch on eBay,
You've researched "Models without Photoshop",
You've looked into taking piano lessons,
You've joined some new activist group,
You've started a new blog, 
You've forgotten you've started a new blog,
You end up looking up the meaning of "eccentric" again because that's what you started off doing.

 (I actually just went through my history for the past couple of hours and listed my activities...)

This is how you end up getting on Craiglist on some egg donor add.  Pretty much every day is like this for me.  And each day while searching for jobs I somehow always end up on Craigslist.

At first I laughed and thought:  "Who would do this??"  Then I thought:  "Why WOULDN'T I do this??!"  In the end I figured there was no harm in looking into it.  The going rate for an egg is around $10,000.  And I'm not doing anything with mine at the moment, so I thought it was a no-brainer.  I'm in perfect health, I've never been pregnant, and I'm educated (supposedly.)  These are the three main things egg donors look for.

Turns out, I'm the perfect candidate.  Except for the fact that my eggs are too old.

Apparently, couples only want eggs from women under a certain age.

Today, the egg donor company sent me a nice letter, but basically said my eggs were expired and that I should throw them away before they started to smell.  (At least this is how I interpreted their email.)  They also said I should throw away all hopes and subsequent dreams.  (Not in the email either , but rather implied.)

 Left: Good Egg                      Right:  My Egg 

This came as quite the shock.  I happen to also be in the best shape of my life:  mentally, physically, and spiritually.  I'm what you would consider a "rational adult" and as my grandma would say:  "Healthy as a horse."  People should be lining up for my eggs.  (Literally.)

Well, no one is in my line.  Which is sad, because eggs are delicious.

After hearing the bad news, I forwarded the email that said I was:  ridiculously-old-and-should-be-doing-other-things-with-my-life-than-filling-out-egg-donor-applications-on-Craigslist to my domestic partner...

He replied back and said that he loves eggs and eats them even well after the expiration date.  In fact just last night, he ate a dozen eggs.

Which then made me hungry for an omelette....

So I'm going to head to the store to get ingredients for omelettes now...Just after I get on the Internet and jack around for a couple more hours while supposedly looking up omelette recipes.

Who knows what I'll end up signing up for by the end the day.

I need this shirt.

Let's Reflect:  What Have We Learned?

• Eggs Are Delicious.
• Apparently, You Should Throw Them Away After The Expiration Date Though. .
• I'm Going To Make Omelettes.

Let Me Ask You?

Do you love eggs??  How long do you thing eggs are good for??  Have you ever had eggs after their expiration date??  Would you buy one of mine for $10,000??

Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted to Know in The First Place,

Miss Oakley

Other stories of my life:

I Am Ill, I Eat Out of My Trash Can, and I'm Probably a Raccoon

A Christmas Story of Inappropriate Awkwardness

The Professor: Otherwise Known As The Worst Date Of My Life

 **Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.

 **As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.

 **Should you wish to read more of my completely profound thoughts throughout the day...

          Follow me on Twitter @MissOakley 

**PS, If you're a fan of the blog you could become a "Follower" and have posts emailed to you.  It's a pretty elite and exclusive group of followers...so consider yourself lucky.  It's like winning the lottery...Except minus the money part.

A Historical Look at Valentine's Day

Dear Readers,

Today I wanted to share with you a historical take on Valentine's Day.  The history being:  Mine.

As always, today I will be sharing with you stories of my life that you never knew you wanted to know in the first place.

Valentine's Day has historically been not my favorite day and I wanted to share a couple stories of Valentine's Day past.

It is important to note that I have have never been a big fan of Valentine's Day.  Here's why:  Generally, if society wants me to do something or expects something of me...It makes me not want to do it.  And therefore, I end up not participating in it.  Additionally, I don't like flowers.  Seriously.  At all.  However, I understand that a lot of people like flowers and that is fine.  I'm not judging.  They're pretty.  However, they're just not my cup of tea.  If you want to show your love for me, get me a potted plant.  Like a fern or perhaps a cactus.  Those things live forever and take minimal effort to keep alive.  Additionally, they are cost effective.  It makes sense.  To me.  Everyone that has had the un-pleasure of knowing me knows that I do not like flowers.  So much so, that I've only gotten them once.

At any rate, I wanted to share some stories of how fun Valentine's Day can be.  For me.

Last Year (2011):
Last year on V-Day I spent it in a "seminar" at the unemployment office.  An all day seminar...in a room....with people that had also lost their jobs.  ALL DAY.  Because I have what could be considered a "unique sense of humor" I wore a red shirt.  Just because I was in a depressing place, didn't mean I couldn't show some love.  Intermittently throughout the day, I would look down at my red shirt and start laughing at the irony of the whole situation.  This did not help me make friends.  An unemployed lady, in red, laughing at herself?  Not funny.  Well, it was super funny to me.  And that's all that matters.  Last year I wasn't dating anyone.  On purpose.  I had two rescue dogs (Pooh Bear and Mr. Bingley) that I was fostering and they were the only guys I needed.  I didn't get any gifts.  Unless you call Mr. Bingley rolling around in his own excrement a gift?  I came home after the "seminar" of fun to that guy caked in his own stuff in his kennel.  So for Valentine's Day he got a bath.  And I got to clean up a good time.  So thanks Mr. B.  You must have read my diary and knew exactly what I wanted for this special day.

Last year wasn't a complete bust though, because I totally got a card from my Mom asking me to be her Valentine.  

Last year, that was my only card.  I didn't even get a "Happy Valentine's Day" text from a dude.  Not even my brothers.  Or a guy friend.  No one.  And you know what?  I was ok with it.  I think later that night I ordered myself a pizza and watched TV.  It was the best.

Valentine's Day 2010:
This was the last year I was with my Former Domestic Partner.  And it was a Valentine's Day to remember. A couple weeks prior we had decided that I was going to move out and we were going to separate.  Which was super romantic.  Combine that and couples therapy...and it was a guaranteed good time.  (This was the Valentine's Day following The Christmas of The Waffle Iron...So you can imagine my mental state at the time.) At any rate, that year I got roses and chocolates.  WHICH WAS OFFENSIVE.  Why??  Because I'm anti-roses.  Very anti.  Everyone knows this.  He included.  He knew it so much so that he prefaced giving me my "gifts" saying:  "I know you hate roses..."  So he gets me the only thing that I don't want.  I asked him why he hated me.  Seriously, why?  Then I gave him his gift:  custom made cuff links with his initials...and the riot act.  I think I slept in one of the guest rooms that night.  Willingly.

Later on my mom calls and asks what I got.  I told her.  Then cried.  She said, "Honey, most girls like that stuff."  I told her I wasn't most girls and that he specifically knew that's the last thing that I wanted.  Also, after giving me the chocolates he got into them without my knowing and ate a bunch of them.  Basically, he ate all of the good ones and  I was left with the mysterious ones with the weird fillings.

Valentine's Day 2009:
Still will the Former Domestic Partner.  It was a Saturday and I had spent the whole day cooking.  Which is important to note:  I DON'T COOK.  Ever.  For any reason.  And this Valentine's Day I was literally cooking all day.  It was very unlike me.  It was a Saturday and I had spent the entire week out of town on business and I wanted to make it special.  And boy was it special.

So I cooked all day, cleaned, set the table, dimmed the lights, lit a crap load of candles, put on girly stuff that was lacy and therefore super itchy, drew up a bubble bath...THE WHOLE DEAL.  All of it.  No romantic stoned was unturned.

The Former Domestic Partner comes home hours and hours later.  I ended up just eating by myself, drinking a bottle of wine, and got into the bubble bath alone.  He comes home, walks into the bathroom, and then asks me what was going on.  He said, "Why are you in the bathroom, in the tub, in the dark, with a bottle of wine?"  Earlier I had lit a bunch of candles, but they had burned out because "earlier" was about 4 hours ago...when he was supposed to be there.  Additionally, I had drained the tub and I was just literally sitting in it.  With a bottle of wine.  In the dark.  Nude.  He then asks, "You didn't fill the tub up earlier did you?!"  Um, yeah.  I said, "Why else would we buy a house with a huge jacuzzi jet tub and not use it??!"  He then runs down to the lower level of the house and says "GET A BUCKET!!"

I had no idea what was going on.  Turns out, we had been having some plumbing issues and I wasn't supposed to use the tub.  Which I had no idea.  Because no one told me.  I went downstairs to an impromptu  pool party.  Water was gushing everywhere.  We got completely soaked and spent the next couple of hours cleaning it up.  Which was fun.

I would have cried, but it was too funny.  The Former Domestic Partner didn't see it this way.  He was not amused.

After a couple of hours cleaning up we went back upstairs and I showed him the lovely dinner I had made, told him it was really good, and then went to bed.  In the guest bedroom.  Willingly.  It was a Valentine's Day I hope to one day tell my grandchildren about.

Valentine's Day in 6th Grade:
The day before Valentine's Day I had broken up with my boyfriend, Smames Smarpenter* (*not his real name.)  It just wasn't working out.  We were looking for different things in life and my heart wasn't really in it.  So I passed him a note in Social Studies class to inform him of the dissolution of our union.

When I got to school on Valentine's Day his older brother (who was in 8th grade at the time) was standing at my locker.  As I approached him, he threw a heart shaped box at me and said it was from Smames.  I thought, "Wow, he's really taking this well...he still got me a gift...."  I turn the heart over and realize that he was in fact not taking it well.  And it wasn't really a gift.  What I had been given was:  one of those heart shaped plastic boxes that is usually filled with conversation hearts.  Usually.  However, in this instance, all of the conversation hearts had been removed and replaced with dog food.

I was livid.  Not because of the dog food.  But because I hadn't thought of it first.  What a genius idea.

So at any rate, that year my dog Annie, got a sweet gift.

Valentine's Day This Year:
I don't want to brag or anything, but I have three Valentine's this year.  One being my Mom (of course).  The other being my boo, Felix* (*not his real name).  And the third being my friend Smamber* (*not her real name.)

The boo and I have decided not to get gifts for each other.  Because I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day and either is he.  All I asked for was a love letter.  Supposedly, he's been working on one for a week...so we'll see.

A couple weeks ago I threatened his life if he got me any heart shaped jewelry.  I think he was more relieved than anything.  The only people that can get me heart shaped jewelry are my grandma and my mom.  Case closed.

Actually, the only heart shaped thing I ever want is a heart shaped pizza.  That's love right there.  (And also the precursor to Type 2 Diabetes...Which is a gift that keeps on giving.)

I got a little excited this year and gifted him/us with an early Valentine's Day present.  We really needed a plunger.  We have had a couple of bathroom situations and I highly doubt a heart shaped necklace could get the job done.  And because I am romantic, I of course made a card to go along with the plunger.  Evidence of my romantic side is below:

As you can see.  He's a lucky guy.

And because it's Valentine's Day, I would be rude not to include a couple of cards.  Below are all cards that I think are funny and would send to myself if I was dating myself.  Just call me a hopeless romantic.  Or just hopeless.

    
**all cards were retrieved from www.someecards.com

Let's Reflect:  What Have We Learned?
I'm not a fan of roses.
I'm not a fan of heart shaped jewelry.
I am a fan of heart shaped pizza.

So, I As You?
What are your feelings on Valentine's Day?  Do you have any stories of Valentine's Day past that you'd like to share?  What is the best/worst gift you've ever gotten??

Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted to Know in The First Place,

Miss Oakley

 **Comments are welcome & no judgement will be passed.

 **As with everything I write, Feel Free to Share.

 **Should you wish to read more of my completely profound thoughts throughout the day...

          Follow me on Twitter @MissOakley or on Tumblr 

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/missoakley

**PS, If you're a fan of the blog you could become a "Follower" and have posts emailed to you.  It's a pretty elite and exclusive group of followers...so consider yourself lucky.  It's like winning the lottery...Except minus the money part.

My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be

Dear Readers,
I'm about to set it off.  Right now.

Lately, it seems like everyone is mad about something or wants to complain about how the world has mistreated them.

Everyone is upset about everything.

Which is fine, but seriously that's what a diary is for.  Not social media websites.

I've been taking a break from Facebook and Twitter and the online community as a whole lately because it's just too depressing.  If you want to instantly get bummed out, read status updates/tweets.

Now, I'm not saying we shouldn't state our feelings and get things out in the open.  All, I'm saying is there needs to be a specific social media website where you can go and complain.  My Proposal:  We call this website "Bitter".  It's like Twitter, but with more angst.  That way everyone that wants to be negative, can be surrounded by everyone else that wants to do the same.

It's not that I don't care about things that are going on in everyone's lives...I Do.  I really really do.  I want to know what's going on.  I just don't want to get bummed out on a daily basis.

Life is hard.  Trust me, I know.  I have at least 100 things I could and probably should complain about.  I've found that complaining doesn't do anything for me personally.  It solves nothing. I've gotten absolutely nowhere by complaining.

On a daily basis, I think we all are wronged at least ten times in some way.  Instead of focusing on how the world has mistreated me, I try to find ONE thing positive that happened in my day.  I focus on that.  It gives me strength to move on.

For example:  The other day I was having a Major Case of the Sads.  And got almost nothing on my "To Do" list done.  I called my Mom and told her I was having a tough time.  We decided that I needed to just do SOMETHING, ANYTHING.  So what did I decide to do??  I walked to my mailbox and got my mail.  Seriously.  This was the highlight of the day for me.  I'm not working and it's wintertime and super cold here. Which could turn even the most active person into a semi-hermit.  Up until walking to the mailbox, the day was going to be filed as "a bad day".  But after the walk, I decided there was no use in beating myself up about what I didn't get done that day.  Instead, I focused on what I DID get done:  I went on a walk and got the mail.

Every time I think about posting/tweeting something negative, I re-think it.  If I'm having a true issue, I call someone that loves me and I talk it out.  In my opinion, when I post things that are negative...it gives that negative statement/feeling the power.  I don't want to give it more power.  I want to take the power away.

Life is hard.  If I know anything about life, it is that it's all how you look at things.  We all go through horrible stuff and it's not fair.  I get it.

Complaining and letting bad things consume my mind does nothing for me.  If anything, it is paralyzing and it keeps me from moving forward.

A couple years I cam across this quote by Charles R. Swindoll:
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”

After much reflection, I decided that I needed to adjust how I look at things.  Not everything is bad.  Even actual bad things do not have to be bad.  What can be bad is giving the bad things that happen even more power over my feelings.  Instead, I can choose to try to find the good in all things.  I have a choice not in what happens, but how I respond to what happens.  I can respond negatively and bitterly...Or...I can choose to try to find something good.

Like for example, this whole Waking-Up-To-Nothing-But-Saturdays-Thing/Being Unemployed.  It's been going on for 13 months now, and instead of complaining...I've embraced it.  I may never have this time again on my hands.  So I'm going to use it now, while I have it.  Being unemployed can be super depressing, but it doesn't have to be.
Nothing that happens to me has to be depressing/sad/negative.  How I respond to what happens to me is my choice.

I do this with working out too.  For example, last month I worked out 10 times.  Is that enough?  No.  Mathematically that works out to 2.5 times a week.  Which wasn't my goal.  However, I worked out 10 times.  Ten!!  How great is that!  I'm choosing to celebrate my minor successes and not give the power to all the days I didn't work out.

I'm really trying to look at life differently.  I'm trying to find the funny in the non-funny.  And the happy in the sad.

Years ago, I started a happy journal.  At the end of the day, I listed all the things that happened that made me happy.  Some days there were only one thing on the list (and I even had to struggle coming up with the one thing).  One day all I could write was:  "walking my dogs."  For a second I got sad, but then I thought of the dogs.  How happy they were to go on a walk.  That was the highlight of their day!  They were SO happy, and it all was because their dog mama took them on a walk.  Then I remembered a couple of cute things that they did on that walk.  After thinking about that one singular happy thing that happened in my day, I turned what was potentially a completely bad day, into a good one.  I went to bed that night with a smile on my face.

So what I'm saying is, I'm not going to contribute to negativity...Not on social networking sites...Not in the real world...and Not inside my own head.  I shall choose to embrace the negative...hug the crap out of it...and try to find small pieces of positivity in my day and celebrate those things instead.  


My Life Is What I Give It The Power To Be.


What do you think??  Do you think life really all about what you make it??  Do you look for the good in the bad??  At the end of the day today will you reflect on all of the good things that happened, rather than the bad??

Forever, Blogging About My Life,

Miss Oakley

 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

**Blowing Into A Paper Bag**

Dear Readers,

What is it that I'm doing you ask??


I'm blowing into a paper bag.

Packing has gotten out of control.  Way out of control.  My place looks like a flop house.  I can barely move.  There is stuff everywhere.  And because it's Me:  THERE IS LITTLE TO NO STRUCTURE GOING ON.  

**Deep Breath**

I need to really dig deep.  The next 24 hours are critical.  So what do I do??
Write a blog post.

I'm taking a break.  I have to.  Or else things are going to spiral out of control.
Or more out of control than they already are.  

Alright, so I'm moving in with the boo into his brother's condo.  The move is temporary, so the goal is to put most of my treasures into a storage unit.

What is currently giving me anxiety has to do with:  Storage.  There's what I would consider a potential storage concern at the condo.  The concern being:  There's not going to be room for my shoes.  Or coats.  Or vast collection of sweat pants.

The boo has a normal sized closet.  I honestly don't see how this is going to work.  He's optimistic about it.  I don't think he understands what all is involved when you are female.  There's a lot of stuff that you have when you are a girl, that guys don't have.  For example:  I have no less than ten scarfs.  Do you know how many scarfs he has:  ONE.  As in, singular.  A Single Scarf.

I'm going to be cutting this close.  Good thing I don't have one of those silly jobs to slow me down.  Supposedly, I'm moving Friday afternoon.  Or that's when the movers are coming at least.

Why would someone hire movers that are waking up to nothing but Saturdays everyday (aka not working)??  Because I love my boo.  And I'd like our union to continue.

In past experiences moving in with a domestic partner has been a non-fun event.  I'm talking about the actual move itself.  Not the living together part.

I've seen a rational person lose their ish over moving.  I'd like for neither of us to choke the other one out.

And for $300, I feel like a potential domestic dispute can be entirely avoided.

I've been packing all day.  Ok fine...I've taken a couple of breaks here and there.  But mostly, I've been packing and cleaning and moving around stuff from one pile to another.

Since most of this stuff is going into storage...I've been sorting through everything and have been trying to figure out what I'll need for the next month or so.

I feel like I'm packing for college all over again.  I can't decide what to take.

True Story:  For the past 10 minutes I've been staring at three white tank tops...trying to decide which are my "favorite two" to take.  It was at this point I decided I needed some fruit punch...and a break.

So this is me taking a break.


I have no less than 70 reservations about this whole thing.  I like my personal space.  A lot.  A lot a lot.

My reservations all pertain to myself personally.  The boo and bro are really laid back and I know everything will be ok on their end.

It's my end I'm worried about.

As I go through my belongings, I have started to question many things.  Mostly, I'm wondering if I've turned into a hoarder.

I'm not really a hoarder.  I just have an emotional attachment to some things.

My former life no longer fits into my current life.  But I can't just throw/give everything away.

I think I've done a pretty good job with sorting through my things.  Both literally and metaphorically.  But there are some things I just can't say goodbye to.

Like Walter (aka Wally).  Wally has been a part of my household for the last five years or so.  I got him as a gift one year for Valentine's Day.  I'm not a big fan of flowers (I thing spending $$ of roses is ridiculous...just not my thing).  So I understand how the former domestic partner had to go with an alternative option.  Also, he waited until the last minute and grabbed whatever was left at     Wal-mart.  And apparently, Walter is what is left if you wait to get your boo a gift on Valentine's Day.  

It's not the gift that I have the attachment to.  It's the time I've spent with Wally.  When I was driving around as a Drug Rep, Wally would come with me.  Don't Judge:  You put 5,000 miles a month on your car driving around Iowa...You'd bring a stuffed animal with you too.  

Anyway, we've spent SO MUCH TIME together.  And I can't seem to part with him.  Not because of an attachment to my former domestic partner.  But my attachment towards Walter himself.


Yeah, I know he's a red ape with a bad pleather jacket.  But he was with me when no one was.  Literally.  He rode in my car for thousands and thousands of miles and never once did he give me a hard time.  Never. Not when I rapped along with my boy Snoop Dog or Dr Dre.  Or even Bone Thugz and Harmony.  


Yes, I realize he's a stuffed animal.  I think this is what happens when you don't have kids.  Actually, no.  This is what happens to ME.  This is what happens when you're me.


Do I have a vivid imagination??  Yes.  Do I give stuffed animals their own persona's and make up stories about their lives??  Yes.  I'm forever a four year old.  


Guys, I'm not sure where I was going with this.  If I was even going anywhere.  I just needed a break to calm down.

I am now calm and can get back to sorting through my underwear and questioning why I bought those Sketcher Shape Ups two years ago (that I just found in my closet).

I'll keep everyone posted on the moving situation.


Should you have any thoughts, comments, concerns, or would just like to question my judgement overall...Just leave a comment!


Other Stories:
Bathroom Attendants, Sled Dogs, and Living In My Car
Dog Roommates, Big Pun, and My Closet
That One Time I Was a Drug Rep: A Tale of Type 2 Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction


Forever, Blogging About Very Important Stories Of My Life,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

News You Can Use: Celebrity Update

Dear Readers,
I feel the need to update you on all things Celebrity related today.

I am in the process of moving and have been busy packing and therefore, am super stressed.  So instead of complaining about my life I thought it would be best to share what's going on in the lives of celebrities.   

So here is some
"News You Can Use."

Oscar Nominations Came Out Yesterday:
You can read the complete list HERE.  I'm ok with pretty much all of their picks.  Except anything to do with "The Tree of Life".  Which in my opinion, was horrible.  Was it not??

The Oscars are February 26th.

Demi Moore Has Been Hospitalized:
For "Exhaustion".  She collapsed from an epileptic seizure and was rushed to the hospital last night.  Lately, she's lost a ton of weight and those around her have been concerned for some time.  They believe that she's fallen off the wagon and has been hitting the booze pretty hard.  So in addition to getting a divorce from Ashton Kutcher, this is what Demi has been up to.  Celebs are notorious for being hospitalized for "Exhaustion".  It's weird, because I haven't seen her act in anything since GI Jane.  Maybe she's exhausted from plastic surgery??  We need to cut her some slack though.  Word on the street is that getting a divorce is non-fun.  Also, she has decided to seek professional treatment.  And for that, I commend her.  

Rihanna and Chris Brown:
Rihanna and Chris Brown never really stopped hanging out.  They were spotted out this last weekend together.  They have recently started to re-follow each other on Twitter.  It is in my opinion that these two are going to give it another try.  Should they try it one more time??  Uh, no.  Definitely not.  But I don't think they're going to listen to me.  Or you.  Or anyone except their loins.  

Heidi Klum and Seal Headed Towards Splitsville:
Heidi Klum is filing for divorce from Seal.  After six years.  (Some sources are saying it's been 7 years.)  I'm not sure...Let's just say they've been together 6-7 years.  And in Hollywood time that's pretty much forever.  I didn't see this one coming.  I'm really going to miss their Halloween party outfits.  My sources are saying that Heidi is just using this as a scare tactic to get Seal to go to therapy for his anger outbursts.  Apparently he has issues with anger management.  We'll see what happens.  
To be continued.  

Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari Have Come Down With A Case Of The Babies:
Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari are having a baby.  This is probably a bad idea.  Babies however get a lot of press.  PR wise I guess this is how Kristin Cavalleri is going to stay relevant.  And I'm pretty sure she wants to get paid.  There's no better way to make sure you get some consistent cheddar for 18 years than having a baby put in you.  Is this a bad idea??  Yes.  Is she going to be financially set for life??  Yes.

Lil Jon + Maury Povich = Bad:
Found this little treasure on YouTube.  Looks like Lil Jon teamed up with Maury Povich and made a song "Dat Baby Don't Look Like Me."  The song, is horrible.  You can check it out for yourself below.  The lyrical masterpiece starts at the 18 second mark.   

It's Getting Ugly Between Katy Perry and Russell Brand:
Katy Perry unfollowed her husband Russel Brand on Twitter.  This is looking like it's going to get bad.  Supposedly, he's working on a "tell all" book.  I'm guessing that this is going to get way out of control before it's all said and done.  

Jessica Simpson Knows How To Party:
Jessica Simpson wore this mask.  Why??  I have no idea.  And I'm pretty sure she has no idea either.  About a lot of things.  (If you can't tell, the mask is of a male reproductive organ.)  I'm hoping this is just her trying to be funny??  The pic was taken at a friend's Bachelorette Party.  She's super pregnant right now and therefore can't drink.  Still, I don't get it.  

Vanessa Bryant Is Getting Paid:
Vanessa Bryant (Kobe Bryant's ex) ended up with $75 million and 3 mansions.  Earlier, I projected she'd get $100...and so not to brag or anything, but I was pretty much right on.

Khloe Isn't A Kardashian After All:
Color me surprised.  I thought she totally looked like Kim and Kourtney.  No??  Don't any of you worry.  They're going to address this whole thing just like every other family does:  By having a special episode about the scandal on their show "Keeping Up With The Kardashians."

A Gem of a Photo I Found On The Internets:

Louis Vuitton Hockey Mask.  So you can be a serial killer in style.  

And Finally, A YouTube Flash Mob Sensation:

Should you have any thoughts, comments, or would like to reflect further...Just leave a comment!
Forever, Blogging About Informative News You Can Use,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley