Dear Kim Kardashian, Flour Isn't An Actual Problem

Per usual, I am blogging about things you never knew you wanted to know.  

Today I'm taking issue with Kim Kardashian's issue with Flour.

Last week, in what was most likely a PR tactic...
Poor Kim Kardashian had flour thrown on her.

FLOUR.


She now must decide whether or not to press charges.

The horror of it all.  I can't even imagine how she feels.  How can she even face the day??  If I was her...I'd be an emotional wreck...Just a total a shell of a person....If you can stomach it...Watch the video.  WARNING:  It's graphic.  Please don't watch in front of your children. Actually, no...Have your children watch this.  And then tell them if they ever grow up to be Kim Kardashian rich, to never become this ridiculous.

If flour was my biggest problem...You know what I'd do??

I'D TAKE THE FLOUR, MAKE A CAKE, THEN THROW MYSELF A PARTY.

Why??  Because, having flour thrown on you is not an actual problem.  And cake is delicious.

Here is a List of Actual Problems Kim Kardashian:
Poverty
Racism
Childhood Obesity
Type 2 Diabetes
Unemployment
A Senseless Murder Without Justice...AKA Treyvon Martin's Killing
Everything That's Happening in Syria

Kim Kardashian is now being faced with the difficult decision of whether or not to press charges on the flour "bomber".  Imagine if you had to make a decision like that??  How do you even wrap your mind around something like that?? How do you sleep at night knowing that the flour bomber is still out there??  How do you bravely continually step out into public knowing that at any moment...flour could be thrown on you??

Wait...These aren't actual problems.

So, Kim Kardashian is contemplating pressing charges against this horrible person who threw flour on her.

And I am contemplating pressing charges against anyone (who for reasons unknown is a millionaire) that would press charges against a thrower of flour.

America:  We need to unite.  We need to make sure things like this never happen again.

Wait, it was just flour.

America:  What we really need to do is:  Make sure things like Kim Kardashian never happen again.  Not even the flour incident.  The bigger problem is that she's even a celebrity in the first place, has millions of dollars, and so much influence that stories like this are termed as "News."

Let's Reflect, What Have We Learned?

• Flour is not an actual problem.
• Actual problems are actual problems.  
• Instead of pressing charges:  She needs to bake a cake and throw herself a party.  Because she needs to celebrate not having actual problems.  And because cake is delicious.

So, I Ask You?
Do you believe people throwing flour is the biggest problem we are facing right now??  What would you do if you had flour thrown on you??  Would you press charges??  Or would you bake a cake and celebrate?? 


Other Stories of Kim Kardashian's Life:
There Is Something I Need To Confess
Kobe Bryant, NBA Marriages, and Why I Never Married a Baller
The Iowa Caucus, Kim Kardashian's Clip On Bangs, and The Sugar Bowl

Forever, Blogging About Stuff You Never Knew You Wanted to Know in The First Place,

Miss Oakley

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