To the surprise of even me, I worked out until the day I went into labor. And even during labor I squatted and well, that was the biggest workout of our lives. For everyone involved. So naturally I thought I would bounce right back and be back in the gym ASAP. Seriously. There was a part of me that thought I might be back to lifting a week postpartum. How outrageous is that?
Obviously, I had no idea how one feels after labor and what the postpartum period involved. To be honest, I did not think about it all that much and just like anything else, knew I would figure it out/wing it.
Color me surprised when I was NOT in the gym one week postpartum. What I was doing one week postpartum was: sweating up a storm, crying intermittently, barely making it up a flight of stairs, peeing my pants, and at one point my husband had to take both MY and our child's diaper to the trash. That's the reality. Is that too much for the internet? I don't know/care. It's the truth.
So no, I kind of had no idea what this process would be like.
After two weeks of not sleeping, I did go back to the gym. And yes, it was way too soon. But I did start sleeping from there on out. So it did the trick.
For me, working out is more than just looking a certain way or fitting into my pants. Although, I do enjoy fitting into pants that do not involve elastic. Working out is an active meditation. It's my happy place. Do I enjoy the act of working out? No, not really. I do enjoy how I FEEL afterwards. And I have never regretted a workout.
As a Counselor and a person who intensely feels things in this world I need a healthy outlet. Some of the things I deal with at my job are pretty unbelievable. And some of the things I have experienced in my life have been...traumatic. So years ago, I picked working out as my outlet. And well, it works. It's how I deal with tough stuff. And now it's just a habit. A GOOD habit.
The postpartum period has been hard for reasons that it should be hard for: I am caring for a cute tiny person who totally depends on me and also: I have no idea what I'm doing. Additionally, recovering from a natural labor is nothing to joke about. Although I do joke about it. Because why not? It was the hardest and yet the most beautiful experience of my life. And there were funny parts.
Here I am eight weeks postpartum and still trying to figure out how to be a mom and also how to fit in working out. As a Rehabilitation Counselor, one of my jams is to find solutions to complex situations. So while there were days when I doubted I'd find the rhythm to the beat of the newborn daily drama...I'm figuring it out. Slowly. And imperfectly. Very imperfectly. She is still alive and I have pants on. So I am calling it a win.
Enter, at-home workouts. Getting to the gym at this point is well, still too early to make it a priority. (I go when I can...which has been just a handful of times at this point). I'm still recovering anyway- as boring as it is, I should probably repair the abs that have separated and my pelvic floor BEFORE throwing around heavy weights for fun.
Looking at my options, I have learned there are a lot of things I can do at home. And at first I wasn't into the idea or process of working out at home. However, now I really like it and yesterday found myself looking forward to it? As with all things in my life, I keep it creative and go with the flow. That's what has made working out at home fun. And when I can involve my mini in a workout- I do. She's always watching and being a good role model on all levels, even with fitness, is important.
Do I still have wild aspirations of doing my first powerlifting competition this year? Yes. Will it happen? I do not know. Do I sort of want to try out a cross fit gym? Yes. Will it happen? Probably. Maybe. Who knows. If it does not, I will live. I will also figure it out. I've always liked a challenge and this new mom-thing is definitely that.
The point is that my original self-expectations were silly. No, I did not hit a PR one week after having a baby. But at the same time, I have never done this before so of course I did not know what to expect. And that's okay. It's natural not to know something that you have never done before. And none of the actual stuff you deal with being a new mom is in any book. You figure it out and do the best you can.
This tiny cute human is teaching me so much about life. About lifting. About happiness and what it means to live in this world of wild.
Until I Remember To Blog Again,
Mom Jeans
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