The Two Best Friends I Never Wanted In The First Place

Dear Readers,

I am writing today, as a way to get the stinkin out of my thinkin.  I am bummed out.  Officially.  I woke up with a serious "Case of the Sads" this morning.  So today dear readers, I am going to share with you things that you do not know about me.  Today, I wanted to talk to you about the two best friends I never wanted in the first place.  

This may come to you as a surprise:  I have been blessed with the gift of Anxiety and Depression.  These gifts were given to me as a young child.  And will continue to stay with me the rest of my life.  They are part of who I am.  They do not define me.  They are one of the many things that make me.......well, me.

My two buddies Anxiety and Depression are and have always been with me...ever since I can remember.  They wake up right next to me every single day of my life.  For many years, I kept these two friends of mine a secret.  Then something happened about five years ago:  I decided to start being real with who I am. I stepped out of my closet of shame, and started telling my story.  And since these two friends and I are so close, I wanted to tell you about them.  

So everyone please welcome my two close and personal friends:  Anxiety and Depression.

I would love it if I didn't have these two for friends.  However, due to reasons beyond my control ...they will be with me forever.  A while ago, I decided that if I have to have these two buddies with me all the time:  It will be much easier to embrace them than to pretend they aren't there.  So I started to embrace my two friends (that I never wanted in the first place.)  

For me, keeping my two gifts a secret was a much bigger burden than coming out in the open.  Over the years, through much self education, reflection and meditation, and through the assistance of professional therapy, I have developed many coping skills.  Just because I have depression, does not mean I need to be Depressed.  And just because I have anxiety doesn't mean that I need to be Anxious.  These two things are part of who I am...but they are not Who I am.  They do not define me.

I know some of you are reading this right now and are kind of surprised. Some may be saying "Miss Oakley, you seem so happy...so normal...everything seems fine with you..."  I am fine.  This is part of who I am and I've learned that it is much easier to have fun with yourself than to focus on the negatives.  It is hard for people who have not had experience with anxiety or depression to understand them.  I am well aware of that.  For me, it is much harder to not be fully authentic with my life and to keep these things a secret.  So I know that talking about these two friends of mine may make people uncomfortable.  However, what makes me uncomfortable is not talking about them.

Some of you know, I'm in Graduate school for Counseling.  In approximately two and a half years I will be a Therapist.  I enjoy discussing things.  I specifically enjoy discussing things that are semi-uncomfortable.  Not because I'm a fan of awkwardness.  But because I think it really helps to talk about things that make us uncomfortable.  It is in my opinion that it is always better start a dialogue and get stuff out in the open that is often difficult to talk about.  This gives us the power back...instead of giving the power to that which is making us uncomfortable.  So by me talking about my Anxiety and Depression...I'm the one running the show.  Not them.

As you know, I have a blog.  You're probably reading it right now.  My hope with this blog is to help others through stories of my personal life.  If you've ever read any of my other blog posts, you've realized that I like to make fun of myself and literally no topic is off limits.  Recently, I've read a couple of other people's stories of Anxiety and Depression and reading about their experiences has made me want to share my story as well.  At the end of this post, I will attach links to their posts.      

There are many many many things I do to cope with my two buddies.  My coping strategies are forever changing and I have and will continue to try many things.

Today's Specific Coping Strategies Will Be:
Writing (doing it right now.)
Laughter (I'm going to watch some YouTube puppy videos upon completion of this blog.)
Rap music (for me it is the non-medication form of an anti-depressant.)
Sweat pants (they're comfortable and therefore sensible.)

Having Anxiety and Depression sometimes go hand in hand.  Which is my case.  I primarily have Anxiety.  And sometimes I get so anxious that it makes me depressed.  And when I'm depressed I get anxious that I'm depressed.  Then I get depressed because I'm anxious.

It's a cycle.

And it's also periodical.  A lot of it has to do with things that are going on in my life.  However, as I say that...Sometimes I can be anxious and depressed for reasons that are completely unknown.

I haven't been working for over a year and naturally, that is something that would make a person anxious/depressed.  And I am no different.  For over a year I have had a constant and extreme low level of anxiety.  So I have that whole thing going for me.  Or going against me.  Depending on how you look at it.

Also, I am moving.  Which is stressful.   And has therefore made me anxious.

And the final reason I have a "Case of the Sads" today is that I woke up with a fat lip.  Which is just kind of strange.  It is neither depressing or anxiety educing.  Just weird, and something I thought I would share with you.

Today when I woke up, I was extremely grouchy.  And I didn't know why.  I am NOT a morning person, so sometimes I wake up grouchy.  Actually, most days I wake up grouchy.  But today, it didn't go away after a couple of hours.  Which for me, prompted me to do a self inventory and some reflection as to the specific reasons I was having a "Case of the Sads".

Today Specifically, I am Having a "Case of the Sads" Due to These Three Reasons:
1)  My Unemployment Status.
2)  Moving.
3)  A Fat Lip.

1)  Being Unemployed/Every-Day-is-a-Saturday-For-Me:
I am now on year one, week one, and one day of being unemployed.  If anyone has been unemployed for any length of time, you may know how I feel.  If you haven't had the joy of ever losing your job...Well, then you may not exactly be able to relate.  Just think of waking up to every day being a Saturday.  Except this Saturday, all of your friends are working, and therefore, you are by yourself.  Also, you haven't gotten a pay check in a year or so, so in addition to being by yourself, it's probably not the best idea to go out and do anything that costs any money.  It's basically like the worst vacation ever.  



2) I Am Moving:
Where?  Approximatly 1.2 miles from where I currently reside.  Due to the outrageousness that is now what I'm paying for my rent...I'm moving in with the boo...and his brother.  I do not like moving.  At all.  It is non fun.  Specifically, the packing part.  Going through my stuff has been hard.  Mainly, I've started to question my ability to discern between what is crap and what isn't.  I have a lot of items that I probably shouldn't have:  Like a bunch of stuffed animals.  I don't have kids and I'm 30.  Why do I have a bunch of stuffed animals??

I am lucky that my boo understands me.  Actual conversation we had over the weekend:
Me:  "Hey boo, I have a bunch of crap that's moving in with me."
Boo:  "Like what?"
Me:  "Like a bunch of stuffed animals."
Boo:  "Ok."
Me:  "I think I'm only going to have a couple of them move in with me.  Just Ida, Minnie, and Walter."
Boo:  "Well, everyone is welcome."

That was it.  He didn't even question:  Why I had stuffed animals in the first place.  Or Why they had names.  Nothing.  If that's not a good boo, I don't know what is.



3)  I Woke Up With a Huge Fat Lip:  
Well, only half a fat lip.  My face has done this to me several times since high school.  For reasons unknown, I will at random wake up with a huge fat half-lip.  The only cure is:  time and a bunch of Benadryl.  I think it's stress related.  But it could be anything.  Sometimes my face just does fun things.  It likes to change it up.  Never a boring day.

One time, years and years ago (I think I was about 21 at the time), half of my face decided to swell up the night before a date.  A rational person would have called and canceled.  I am however, not that person. Fortunately/Unfortunately I lack the ability to lie (I shall blog about this later...) and if I canceled on him, I know I would have had to tell him exactly the reasons for my cancellation:  I played that conversation out in my head.  It did not go well.  Since my own conversation with myself didn't go well...I didn't think it was the best idea to go through with said conversation with an actual person.

So I went on the date.  I wore a bunch of eyeliner (to try to hide the fact that my eyelid was swollen) and a bunch of lipstick.  I practiced sucking in my half-fat lip in the mirror for about a half an hour.  I convinced myself I could pull it off.

More than my acting ability I think what ultimately made me go on that date was that I had taken a bunch of Benadryl and wasn't thinking clearly.

So in summary:  I had a fat half-lip, a swollen eye, had taken a bunch of meds, and it was our first date.

Regardless of my situation, he turned out to be a real weirdo.  And this is coming from a girl that had taken a bunch of Benadryl and half of her face looked like a pillow.  So naturally, I went out with him again.  Again, he was weird.  Then just for good measure I went out with him another two times.  Both times more weirdness.  I don't know what I told him after the fourth date, but I basically tried to explain (nicely) that he creeped me out.  I might have just said "Hey, you creep me out."  Who knows.  All I know is that there was a conversation between us, followed by us never going out again.

So there you have it, the story of my two close buddies Anxiety and Depression and the specific reasons that I'm having a major "Case of the Sads" today.  In terms of my coping strategies:

• Coping strategy #1 has been completed by writing about my situation.  
• Therefore, I will  move on to #2 and watch some cute puppies on YouTube and laugh.  
• Followed by coping strategy #3:  A dance party hosted by myself and Big Pun.  
• Coping strategy #4 was completed before I even started writing this post...I've been wearing sweat pants this entire time.  

Let's Reflect, What Have We Learned:

• I woke up with a "Case of the Sads."
• I have a couple of friends I never wanted in the first place.  Instead of trying to hide them, I have chosen to embrace them.  
• For reasons unknown, I have a half fat-lip and am wearing sweat pants.  

So, I Ask You:
Are you surprised to learn my two best friends are Anxiety and Depression...And not Awkwardness and Randomness??  Do you have a fat lip and or are wearing sweat pants??


Links to The Two Stories That Encouraged Me To Blog About My Two Friends:
**It is important to note here that:  Everyone's own relationship with Anxiety and Depression are deeply personal and unique.  There are not two people on this earth that experience Anxiety or Depression in the same way.  For example:  When I get super depressed I feel "blah" and sleep a lot.  The links below contain some material that is heavy.  My personal experience is completely different than theirs.  The three of us are very different.  However, we are similar in the fact that we each decided to tell our story in hopes that it would help someone else.  


The Bloggess: "The Fight Goes On"
Rob Delaney: "On Depression & Getting Help"


Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life,
Miss Oakley

 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

Celebrity Weekly Wrap Up

Dear Readers,

I wanted to bring you some Celebrity news items from this past week:  Again, this is "News You Can Use".  As always, this is information you probably should know.  But never knew you wanted to know about in the first place.

This is the first ever Celebrity Weekly Wrap Up.  (We'll see how it goes.  If you love it, let me know.  If you don't love it, let me know).

I'm just going to keep trying different things and see what works.  I can only determine what works...if you tell me.  So holla at a sister with some feedback.

As I've stated before, I have a passion for Celebrity News items/blogs/magazines/etc.  It's more than a passion, it's a compulsion.  I make it my personal goal to know everything about everything (celeb related.)  Some people are really into sports.  Like my brother.  He can tell you who won every single Super Bowl since the beginning of football.  He knows pretty much every single sports related statistic known to man.  I took my knowledge in a different direction...And know everything in regards to Celebrities dating back at least the last two decades.  I don't know what to do with all of the information I have, so I thought I'd blog about it. Why should I keep these things to myself?  Consider it a gift?  (For you first time readers, I often blog about Celebrities.) 

Mental note:  I need to make another tab on this thing just for Celebrity info.  That way you guys don't confuse stories of my life and say...the life of Britney Spears.  It could happen.

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are Getting Hitched:
Earlier this week it was officially announced via People magazine that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are now engaged.  The two have been dating over 4 years now.  There was some chatter amongst my sources about a week ago that they got engaged...but I wanted it to be official before I discussed.  FYI...Neither one has "officially" confirmed, but it was in People magazine.  And seriously, if something is in People it is pretty much fact.  In my mind, they are about 95% right in their claims.  Unlike other magazines like the National Enquirer which is about 1% correct.

At any rate, the two have been together for quite some time.  This last  year has been a little rocky for them.  They have been on and off.  Most recently they were off.  Basically, she broke up with him.  Why??  Because he wouldn't commit.  As a female, she used her final playing card.  By breaking up with him.  And it worked.  He put a ring on it. 

Here's a secret I never dreamed I would admit:  I secretly love Justin Timberlake.  His MUSIC, not his acting.  However, l recently saw "Just Friends" and actually liked it.  To date, it is his best acting.  I verified this by the fact that I cried while watching this movie.  During the part where he took his pants off in the airport with his dad.

At any rate, my love for JT goes WAY back.  I'm just going to put it out there:  I've willingly been to TWO NSYNC concerts.  And paid good money for each.  So yeah, if JT wanted to sing in my ear, I'd let him.

Lyndsay Lohan is Still a Hot Mess:

Lyndsay Lohan is on the cover of "Maxim".  Which I'm not even going to post a link to.  She's a trainwreck.  I'm also pretty sure "Maxim" is going out of business.  If they weren't already, they are now. You put Lindsay Lohan on the cover of anything and it's a guarantee cry for help.

Big Week for TV:  The Bachelor and Jersey Shore Premiered:
It is no secret that I love really really really bad reality TV.  (I also love really good TV as well...so don't be totally worried about me.)


Viewership of "The Bachelor" is down.  Big time.  By 17%.  That's not going to stop me from watching it.  It's too soon to say  who my favorites are. Give me a couple more episodes and I'll be all over it.  I like Ben though...well I liked him from the last season from "The Bachelorette"...To be continued...

 The new season of "Jersey Shore" premiered this week.  This is the beginning of their 5th season and they are now back on the actual Jersey Shore.  I'm not proud of this but:  I've watched the show since their first episode.  It started out as a way to bond with my 17 year old step brother...And then it turned into me getting really into the show and watching every episode.  My favorite part of the first episode was not an actual moment, but rather a new character:  "The Unit".  Seriously, how do you get the nickname "Unit" (unless you're 50 Cent/Gt-Unit/part of that whole crew)??

Semi related to Jersey Shore:  A while back the comedian, Nick Kroll, did this audition skit for Jersey Shore on funnyordie.com. It is amazing.  Well, I love Nick Kroll so of course I am a little biased.  If you ever have time, look up his stand up DVD "Thank You Very Cool" on Netflix.  It also is amazing.  Additionally, while I'm hyping him up...You also should probably watch the show "The League"  It's on FX.  He plays "Ruxin" on the show.  It is in my opinion that "The League" is the best show on TV.  Have I sold you on Nick Kroll yet??  Either way you need to watch his "audition" for Jersey Shore:  You would be doing yourself a dis-services if you didn't click on this link..

Oh and here's another link to a Nick Kroll favorite.  He was on Conan (who I also love) a couple of weeks ago and his interview was classic.  Click Here to Watch Nick Kroll's Interview on Conan.

Kanye West Is Having Some Sort of Breakdown/Breakthrough:.
Kanye went off the other day on twitter about his new company named DONDA.  Donda is his mother that passed away a couple years ago (from complications of plastic surgery).  The Washington Post did a great job in their translation of his tweets.  Here's a link to what they said.  "Kanye West and the Donda Twitter Rant: A Translation.".  My interpretation:  He thinks he's turned into some sort of Steve Jobs and wants to create an empire greater than Nike.  

Drake Has A New Boo:
Drake is dating one of the girls from his last video. And per twitter, I found out that Serena Williams is having a COW about this.  Apparently she has a thing for Drake. (This is what you end up doing all day when you aren't working/waking up to nothing but Saturdays...you find out stuff on twitter that is super useful.)

Paris Hilton Has Made More Money Than Some Small Countries:
It was reported today (via this one blog I read) that since 2005 Paris Hilton has made $1.3 Billion dollars. I take issue with this.  Real issue.  Actually, several issues.  I'm pretty sure we all have issues with this.  I find solace knowing that she probably donated the majority of her profits to charity.  
Her charity being:  candy
snorted up her nose.

Bussel Brand and Katy Perry Headed For Divorce:
Sounds like Russel Brand and Katy Perry are headed for splitsville.  It hasn't been announced yet, but they have been spotted not wearing their rings and I'm pretty sure they didn't spend the holidays together.  My prediction is that the announcement will come in the next couple of weeks.  It's weird that these two didn't work out:  She likes to party and he's in recovery.   

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett  Smith:
Word on the street is that they too are headed towards divorce.  This has NOT been confirmed whatsoever.  This is just something that I've been following for the last year or so.  My prediction is that she will be the one to file and she'll do it in the next couple of months.  There are A LOT of things going on in that relationship.  Mainly the fact that both of them are in the closet.  None of which will ever be confirmed.  Except the divorce.  That will definitely happen.  

The Arnold:
There have been rumblings of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver getting back together.  The past couple of days it has been going back and forth.  Yesterday, there were getting back together.  Today, they aren't.  My personal opinion is that this is PR related.  Also, no one really cares.  Arnold is leaving politics and needs to stay relevant.

Birthdays This Week:

Kristin Cavalliri ("Laguna Beach, "The Hills", Jay Culter's current girlfriend),  25
Llyod (rapper/R &B crooner), 26
Tiffany Pollard (New York from "Flavor of Love" and "I Love New York"), 30

Dustin Diamond (Screech from "Saved By The Bell"), 35
Bradley Cooper (actor, "Hangover"), 37
Nicolas Cage (Eccentric and now Broke actor), 48
Katie Couric (ABC News, former anchor at the "Today Show"), 55
Kenny Loggins (most known for his song "Danger Zone"), 64

And this now concludes the first ever Celebrity Weekly Wrap Up.


Let's Reflect, What Did We Learn?

• JT finally put a ring on it.
• I like really bad reality tv.
• I have entirely too much time on my hands.

So, I Ask You?
What are your thoughts on the first ever Celebrity Weekly Wrap Up??  Should I do this every week??  Or should I get a life??


Forever, Blogging About Things You Never Knew You Wanted To Know In The First Place,
Miss Oakley


**Comments are Welcomed & Encouraged.  No Judgment Shall Ever Be Passed.
**Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
**Should you wish to read more of my profound thoughts throughout the day...
    Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

Junior High Was Rough: And I Now Would Like To Talk About It

Dear Readers,

I"m the one on the far left, in the black t-shirt.

I was going to blog about something totally different today...but then yesterday a childhood girlfriend posted THIS picture (on the right) on Facebook.  I have put the blog I was writing on hold.  For, I need to share some highly personal and definitely awkward information regarding my Junior High experience.

Oh, I'm in the far left, in the black basketball T-Shirt.

To say Junior High was hard for me would be an understatement.   A VAST understatement.  It was the worst.  I think middle school was tough for most of us.  It definitely was for me.  I still have flashbacks.  And naturally, I want to share some of these flash backs with you.

I have so many stories about Middle School that I could write a book.  No.  A series of books.  

ALL of my Junior High stories are awkward.  And therefore, I would like to share a couple of those stories with you, my dear readers.


First, You Need to Know Some Back History:
In order to fully appreciate the awkwardness that was my Junior High experience I need to explain my situation leading up to Junior High.

Kindergarten through 5th Grade was spent at a Baptist church/school.  Instead of "Science" class we had "Bible" class.  I wore nothing but dresses up until the 5th Grade.  Most were home-made or from a garage sale.  Ok, ALL of them were home-made or from a garage sale.

My family was not wealthy.  Quite the opposite.  Actually, definitely the opposite.  We were non-wealthy.  This school wasn't your typical "private school".  It was basically a couple of kids getting their learn on in the basement of a church.

An example of our non-wealth:  All my underwear was purchased at yard sales.

Your perspective on life changes when you wear another person's underwear.   

There were A LOT of rules at this particular school.  I'm actually pretty sure it was a cult.  My mom says it wasn't.  But seriously, all signs point to cult.

At any rate, I learned A LOT about the Bible, and very little about anything else from Kindergarden-5th Grade.

The rules were borderline irrational at this place.  No.  Completely irrational.  No music, No TV, No Makeup, No Pants...NO FUN basically.  That's not to say that I didn't experience any of those things.  You tell a bunch of kids they can't listen to rap and then FORBID it??  With the consequence being corporal punishment??  The end result:  A BUNCH OF KIDS ARE GOING TO SMUGGLE IN RAP MUSIC.  Which we did.  And this is where my love of  rap started.  The Notorious B.I.G. was forbidden.  So naturally, I was all over it.

Ok, let me get back to whatever point I was trying to make...Which is:  Up until the 5th Grade I did not attend a regular public school and was totally clueless entering Junior High.  Also, I may or may have been in a cult situation leading up to Junior High.

Maybe it wasn't a cult, and just hardcore Baptist??  I don't know, it felt cult-ish.  Seriously.  I don't know.  I've looked into it heavily and there's no way or really knowing.  I'm just going to go with it.  This is honestly how I perceived it to be.  My perception is my reality.  Others may not see it the same way.  Namely, my mother.  At any rate, it was definitely a different experience.  (**I'd like to note here that this was not my choice, as I was a child.  I would not knowingly be in a cult.  When you're 5 years old however , you do what you're told.)  

After a series of unfortunate events at the church/school my parents decided it was time for us to join society and go to public school.  I'm guessing the series of events were do to the fact that we were in a cult.

I can guarantee when my mom reads this she is going to take REAL ISSUE with what I'm saying.  Regardless of what she says, it doesn't change anything.  It happened.  At the time, I know she thought she was doing what was best.  And you know what??  I'm a better person because of it.  Not because of the whole church/Bible thing...


But because of the fact that we were the opposite of wealthy...Which led to me wearing other people's underwear...And after wearing drawers that aren't yours...Combined with being in a cult....You develop a good sense of humor about:  EVERYTHING.

I laughed a lot during Kindergarten through 5th Grade.

Here comes the part where I enter the 6th Grade/Public school for the first time.  Also, the first time I wore something that wasn't a home-made/from a yard sale.

I remember that first day of middle school like it was yesterday.

Here's What I Wore On My First Day:
A Neon Green T-Shirt (tucked in of course...it was the early 90's.)
Black Lee Jean Shorts.
Scrunched Up Socks (2 pairs...again it was the early 90's.)
A White Pair of Keds.
A Gigantic Scrunchie.

I think in addition to my travesty of an outfit I had a home perm.  And Bangs.  That I curled and then feathered.  My outfit/hair/vibe was offensive.  I had no idea what I was doing.

Not me

Things spiraled out of control from there.  MAINLY WITH MY BODY.

I got braces.  And not like the "cool braces".  But the kind of braces that requires you to wear head gear.  For anyone that has never seen some head gear, take a gander at the photo on the right.  This isn't me.  This is what you find when you google "head gear".  I had to wear something similar to school.

I wore these braces for five straight years.  All of Junior High and most of High School.  It was awesome.

(Another thing that I'm just remembering is my Orthodontist.  That often kissed me on the mouth...)

SO.....MANY.....MEMORIES......

As I write this, I'm just glad that I'm a fully functional adult.  Things could have gone in a whole different way.

Ok so I rocked really bad braces and head gear.

Additionally, I had a bad case of acne.  Real bad.  So bad that there had to be medical intervention.

I also had what is considered a full on unibrow and mustache.  I didn't realize this for quite some time.  A nice boy on the bus pointed out my 'stache one day.  After he pointed out, it was followed by me crying for several hours and THEN SHAVING MY ENTIRE FACE with a blunt Bic razor.

My mom worked a lot and therefore was rarely home.  So all-things-girl-related I just took into my own hands.  I don't have any sisters, only younger brothers.  And like most younger brothers...I knew they didn't have any ideas of what to do with a sixth grade girl sporting a mustache...so I didn't ask them.  I just shaved my face.

Later, I wondered if this was the best decision.

There was no way of knowing.

I Got All of My Information on How to Be a Girl From:
A) Personal Trial and Error
B) Teen Magazines
C) A Combo of Both

I honestly learned everything I know about all girly things from magazines.  One day I learned that you could bleach your mustache.  So I ordered the bleach.  For the next couple of years, I was the proud owner of a bleached mustache, and not the regular kind.  (Later I discovered waxing and went in that direction.)

**Also, it is important to note:  Due to the above stated fact of our non-wealth related status I didn't actually buy theses magazines.  I just read them at a friend's house or in the line at the grocery store.  So sometimes I didn't get the full "story" which led to additional trial and error.

Now, that I think of it.  I had a lot of body hair issues.

Like my legs.  Does anyone remember the show "Harry and the Hendersons??"  Yeah, my leg hair was kind of like that.  So one day I decided to shave.  Without water or shaving creme or anything.  That didn't work out.  Turns out, you shouldn't shave your dry legs with a razor.  Who knew??  Definitely not me.  Why??  Because I didn't read about it in "Teen Beat" or "Word Up!" magazine.  

Ok so in addition to the hair, the acne, and the braces...I hit puberty.

Which was fun.

You know how the voices of young males change as they get to a certain age??

Well, so did mine.  I have no idea why.  (Honestly I think I had some type of hormonal imbalance.  Which you needed to know.)

My favorite memory of middle school was this one day in band class.  I was telling someone what I thought to be something witty.  A classmate heard me talk and to everyone said "Who is the new guy??!!"

That "guy"??  Me.

He and I remain friends to this day.

There were many things that did not work in my favor leading up and throughout Junior High.  The one thing that did work in my favor however, was happening to have the ability to laugh at things and having a decent sense of humor.  Which was developed because of the above stated cult affiliation.

Oh, memories.

Luckily, for you readers, I have always written.  Which means that some of these tales are in my Junior High diary.  And I'm 100% my stories are awkward.  I'm also 100%, I'll share them with you.

For today though, I think this concludes my segment on stories of awkwardness.

Let's Reflect, What Have We Learned?

• Laughing is better than crying.
• I am recovering from several body hair incidents.
• Wearing drawers that aren't yours, gives you a different perspective on life.

So, I Ask You?
Was Junior High awkward for you??  Did you ever have a pair of white Keds??  Do you or have you ever had a mustache??



Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted To Know About In The First Place,
Miss Oakley

 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

That One Time I Was a Drug Rep: A Tale of Type 2 Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction

Dear Readers,

Today I would like to share the story of that one time I was a Drug Rep.  In summary:  It's a tale of Type 2 Diabetes and Erectile Dysfunction.
  

Yesterday I blogged about:  The Iowa Caucus, Kim Kardashian, and The Sugar Bowl.  Today it's ED and Diabetes.  Clearly this blog is lacking some focus.

I recently have come to a career crossroads and have decided to switch teams.  I'm coming from a world of Pharmaceutical Drug Rep-ping and Medical Device Sales...to Counseling.  

I fully realize this is kind of an odd transition.  And not very traditional.  Actually, nothing I have ever done could be considered "traditional".  So, I'm not going to start now.

 Impala.

So let's get into it.  The story of Erectile Dysfunction, Diabetes, and why I carried a trunk load insulin, syringes, and ED pills around with me for a couple years in my standard issued Drug Rep Chevy Impala.    

Oh and yes, I realize by writing this blog I may never be welcome back and or embraced in the pharmaceutical community.  And I'm ok with that.  I'm pretty sure they'll get along alright without me.  Actually, I think since I've been out of the game they have continued to make money.  I'm not sure.  I'd have to look it up.  Let's just say for the purpose of this specific story that the Pharmaceutical industry is still profitable, despite me no longer being a part of it.

Being a "Drug Rep" was probably the strangest and most awkward job I've ever had.  And I've had A LOT of jobs.  I've been working since I was 14...and therefore have had a bunch of jobs in my career.

My very first job was at a trap and skeet range.  That served alcohol.  So...Guns, bullets, and booze.  I I was 14.  I didn't have a work permit...as they ran their business with minors working for cash under the table.  True story.  You can ask my mom.

I've also been a Resident Assistant (RA) in college for sixty co-ed undergraduates.  (That's a whole different blog post in itself.)  I could write probably 100 blog posts on the stories I have from being an RA in college...

Still, the Drug Rep gig overrides all other previous jobs...In terms of levels of awkwardness.  Mainly because for two years I had to talk about nothing but straight up Erectile Dysfunction and Type 2 Diabetes.

I have to give the Pharma industry some major props.  They educate their representatives as if we were scientists.  Ask me anything about ED or Diabetes.  I can guarantee I know the answer.  I don't know much about most things.  But I do know a lot about a few things.  And those things are ED and Diabetes.  I went through weeks and months of extensive training.  I've probably read more research studies than I knew ever existed.  I know my stuff.  And I can thank Big Pharma for that one.  What will I do with this information??  I don't know.  Probably blog about it. 

Let's get one thing straight:  I'm not knocking the business.  I'm just saying it's not for me.  I know A LOT of Drug reps out there.  Most of them love their jobs.  And I love when people love what they do.  I just happened to not love that job and therefore decided to go a different path.

Let's get another thing straight:  Erectile Dysfunction and Type 2 Diabetes are legitimate and serious medical conditions.

When I started in the Pharma industry I did so because I was/am super passionate about Type 2 Diabetes.  My grandfather (and also the greatest man I've ever known) died of complications from Diabetes.  My goal when entering this specific line of work was to do my part and help individuals educate themselves about Diabetes.  And I did that.  But I wasn't able to help in the way that I wanted.  It was very regulated and it was hard to tell if I was making an impact (besides sales).

It ended up not being what I wanted it to be.  The job that is.

Anyway, it was two years of weird conversations.  In both my professional and personal life.

You know how people ask what you do for a living??  Naturally, if you tell someone you are a Drug Rep, they're going to ask you what drugs you rep for.  And telling people about Erectile Dysfunction sometimes makes them feel uncomfortable.  Also, insulin is a little tricky.  Mainly, because it involves refrigeration, ice packs, coolers, syringes, and a bunch of needles.

So with this job I was not only shipped hundreds and hundreds of boxes of ED pills on a weekly basis, but also coolers of insulin.  In addition to a Chevy Impala showing up one day I was also issued:  a cooler the size of the trunk of my car, approximately 40 ice packs, another cooler, A REFRIGERATOR, and probably 100 boxes of literature/pens/crap.

Have you ever had a refrigerator for your job??  It's kind of a weird thing to have in your home office.  Needless to say, I had entire rooms of my house that were stacked with boxes and boxes of pharmaceutical paraphernalia.  And the refrigerator.

My decision to leave the industry wasn't because of the massive amount of stuff that I had to have in my house, in my car, and on my person at all times...it was the traveling.

Now, I LOVE traveling.  I absolutely love it.  What I don't love is traveling for weeks at a time and being on the road all the time.  I missed out on a lot of things.  I've been traveling for my career ever since I graduated from college.  I was on the road or on a plane for eight years straight.

Here's an Actual Schedule of My Former Life:

• Sunday:  leave Des Moines International (ha!) airport and fly out to Chicago.  Meet up with my Director for dinner and drinks.  Get to some random hotel.  Check email for a couple of hours.  Go to bed at 3am.
• Monday:  Wake up at 5am.  Meet my counterparts for a breakfast meeting.  Then an 8am presentation in downtown Chicago.  Talk for 4 hours.  Fly out of Chicago at 4pm, back to Des Moines.  Have the plane delayed and end up back in Des Moines at 10pm instead of 5pm.  Get back home, check email/voice mail for a couple hours, find some clean clothes, go to bed at 3am.
• Tuesday:  Wake up at 5am.  Drive to Omaha, Nebraska for an all day meeting.  Go to dinner with clients.  Drive home at 10pm.  Check emails/voicemail.  Go to bed at 2am.
• Wednesday:  Wake up at 4am.  Get to the airport at 6am.  Fly out to Colorado for another meeting.  Fly back home the same day.  Print a bunch of stuff off for the meeting in Oklahoma tomorrow.  Leave for Oklahoma at 5pm.  Get to Oklahoma at 1am.  Try to find my hotel for the next hour.  Get to hotel at 2am.  Check emails/voicemail for a couple hours.  Go to bed at 4am.  
• Thursday:  Get up at 6am for a meeting at 8am.  More meetings and presentations.  Get home at 2am Friday morning.
• Friday:  Get up at 5am.  Conference call at 8am while driving to Cedar Rapids, Iowa.  Get to Cedar Rapids at 10am and do an all day training.  Get home at 6pm.  Check emails and voicemail until midnight.  On a Friday night.  All my friends are out doing things that young 20 somethings do.  My former domestic partner patiently waits to see my face.  I pass out at midnight.
• Saturday:  I hibernate until noon.  Run errands, hit the bank, go to the dry cleaners, do laundry, hit up Target, call my mom.  See my former domestic partner.
• Sunday:  Pack, clean my house, and get back on a plane by 5pm to do the same thing all over again.

I did this for eight years more or less.  Sometimes the travel involved more driving.  Sometimes it was more flying. At any rate, I don't remember sleeping.  I was always working.  Always.  I'd get calls in the middle of the night.  If I had to approximate, I got 100-200 emails a day that needed answered.  Did I make good money?  Yes.  Was it worth it?  No.  Not to me.  You can't put a price on your sanity.  You also can't put a price on what your personal time is worth.  Let's face it, I'm 30.  One day, I'd like to be a mom.  Of actual real live children.  I'd also like to be in the same area code as my said children...I don't know...Just in case they needed their mother?  For mom-type stuff.  I'd rather not be stuck snowed in for four days straight in Sioux City, Iowa with no possibility for escape (true story).  
  
I've also always worked from a home office.  And I kind of am sick of working with only myself.  I would like to have actual co-workers.  After a while of working with only myself, I started to become annoying to myself.  I need a break from me.

So at any rate, that one time I was a Drug Rep and sold ED meds and insulin was a little different.  I have many many stories about that job...However, I think I may keep most of them to myself.  I am a little scared of the Pharma industry.  They have a lot of lawyers.  And I think some money to go with their legal representation.

I was cleaning my garage the other day...and came across boxes upon boxes of ED pens...and that's what prompted me to write this post.  On a side note:  If anyone would like several boxes of ED pens/highlighters just let me know.  I could have that arranged.

And this concludes the story of that one time I was a Drug Rep.

Let's Reflect, What Have We Learned?

• I once was a Drug Rep.
• Talking about Erectile Dysfunction makes some people uncomfortable.
• Someday I would like to have actual real live children.  
• I have a bunch of boxes of pens I would like to get rid of.  

So, I Ask You?
What's the strangest job you've ever had??  Does talking about ED make you uncomfortable??  Do you want a bunch of boxes of pens??



Forever, Blogging About Stories of My Life You Never Knew You Wanted To Know About In The First Place,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley

Recap of Yesterday: The Iowa Caucus, Kim Kardashian's Clip On Bangs, and The Sugar Bowl

Dear Readers,


As always I am bringing you some "News You Can Use".  I would like to discuss relevant and current news items.  This blog is about getting the truth out and stating the facts.  As you know, this blog is highly informational.  It's basically a cross between CNN and the Encyclopedia.  Or not at all. 


News Items We Will Discuss:

1)  The Iowa Caucus.
2)  Kim Kardashian's fake clip on bangs.
3)  The Sugar Bowl.

I live in Iowa.  There is a caucus going on right now as I type this (I wrote this last night).  Alright, I'm not going to get all political on this thing.  That's not my goal.  My whole point is that the general feeling here right now in Iowa is that everyone is undecided.  Why??  Because it's a choice between "Worse or Worser". I'm probably going to get a bunch of fan un-mail for talking politics, but I'm not really getting political...I'm just stating some facts.  


(**Fan un-mail is just like fan mail, except with a more threatening tone).   



Ok, so I need to explain my "Worse or Worser" stance.  Whenever there are two things going on that I am not a fan of I do a cost benefit analysis.  I call my cost benefit analysis of both equally bad things:   "Worse or Worser".  I realize "worser" isn't a word.  Yet, it makes sense.  To me.

I need to be honest about something.  This is the first time in the history of being legally able to vote that I haven't participated in the Iowa Caucus.
I realize that makes me either:
A) A Complete nerd or
B) Awesome.

Either, way it is what it is.  I really got into the last caucus.  I MEAN REALLY INTO IT.  I wore t-shirts and everything.  But this time, I feel like my caucus options aren't really options at all.  I feel like the choice is between people with different faces, saying almost the same thing.  For me it's a choice between "Worse and Worser."


However, because I live in Iowa all of the news coverage is around the caucus.  It's kind of a big deal.  That's all anyone is talking about.  The coverage has been completely horrible and a total Snoozefest.  However, I can't stop watching.  It's like watching a train wreck.  Worse than the ACTUAL Caucus itself...are the political ads.  Don't even get me started on their ads...

I don't know what it is, but I'm just not into this caucus this time.  Not to get political on you or anything, but I'm not a huge fan of any of the candidates.  Additionally:  SHOCKER:  I'm super Liberal.  I'm neither Republican or Democrat.

I think we need more than two parties.  It's ridiculous.  This is AMERICA.  We have more options of sunless tanner than we do in political parties to run our country.

Here's a List of Stuff That We Have More Than Two Options Of:

• Car Washes:  Regular, Deluxe, Super Deluxe, Professional Grade, etc.
• Nail Polish Colors:  Pink, Purple, Red, Gold, Blue, Green, etc,
• Coffee Drinks:  Lattes, Iced Coffee, Cappuccino, Frappuccino, etc,  
• Subway Sandwiches:  Meatball, Cold Cut Combo, BLT, Vegetarian, BMT, etc.

Seriously, have you been to the drug store or Target recently??  I've actually stood in the toothpaste aisle trying to decide between 20 different types of toothpaste.  There are so many options out there that sometimes it's overwhelming.

As Americans we are inundated with options.  Except when it comes to political parties.  You are either a Republican or a Democrat.  You can claim to be part of a different party.  However, if you've ever exercised your right to vote you know that in order to vote you have to be either one or the other.  There is no "other" category.

True story:  In the last election, I saw a guy have a COW because he couldn't claim to be an "Independent".  This guy got in a verbal altercation with one of the elderly cotton top volunteers at the polling location.  It wasn't a pretty sight.  Here is this grown man, approximately 40 years of age, chewing out a member of the local retirement community.  That volunteered to be there.  Apparently, he didn't get the memo on how the actual voting process worked.  He ranted and raved for a good 15 minutes.  I got what he was saying though, but it's just not how the game is played here in the U.S.  You can't be an "Independent" when you actually vote.  You have to pick one side or the other.  And there are no other sides.

It's 10pm as I write this so the caucus isn't over.  The final count is projected to be at 1:37AM.  I am projected to be sleeping at 1:37AM.   


I have set the old blog be automatically posted at 12AM...So what I'm saying is that I won't have the actual results listed here.  Sorry.  


So far the winner (s) are/is:  Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney.  They're basically tied right now.  
The loser:  Me.  I'm actually watching this.


You'll probably want to check with additional new sources to get the actual results of the Iowa Caucus.  I need to get my sleep on and I'm not staying up for the results of this Snoozefest.  


And without transition...


Transition:  Kim Kardashian's Clip On Bangs:
I'm switching over to another subject that is also on my mind:  Kim Kardashians fake clip on bangs.  What I'm outraged here with is the fact that she's trying to pawn them off as the real thing.  THEY AREN'T.  Nothing she does is real.  Not even her marriage.  (For additional coverage of Kim Kardashian's marriage click here.)

Clip in bangs

They other day my boo and I were at Walmart.  Why?  Because we're classy.  At any rate, we're getting ready to check out and we start looking at the celebrity magazines.  Two magazines are sitting side by side:  One shows Kim Kardashian in all of her photo-shopped glory.  It doesn't even look like her.  It looks like a cartoon character of her.  The other magazine shows her without makeup.  My boo was AGHAST.  He couldn't believe it.  

Kim Kardashian With Makeup

Kim Kardashian Without Makeup

Kim Kardashian Side by Side Comparison

At this point in time I decided it was best to rant to him about how celebrities are so photo-shopped in magazines that it gives young girls a unrealistic idea of both themselves and what women should look like.  Little girls look up to these celebrities.  Yet, nothing about their pictures are real.  


Things About Celebrities That Generally Aren't Real:
Their hair.  Everyone has extensions.
Their teeth.  Most are veneers.  
Their eyelashes.  Fake.
Their body parts.  Various body parts have been enhanced and or re-adjusted.
Their skin.  Photo-shopped.  Spray tanned.
Their body.  Again, photo-shopped.
Their abs.  Spray on six pack.

I don't know why I'm all riled up about Kim Kardashian's bangs...But I am.  I'm outraged.  All I want her to say is that they are fake.  She tried tricking us last year with her blonde wig.  I refused to be tricked in 2012 by you Kim Kardashian.

Kim Kardashian's Blonde Wig Trickery

Finally, A Bowl of Sugar:
As a trusted Sports analyst I would be doing you all a disservice if I didn't talk about the "Sugar Bowl".  It's about 10PM as I write this and right now they're in the 3rd quarter and Michigan leads with 17, Virginia Tech has 9.  I project that Michigan will win.  Again, you may need to do some additional research on the game results as I am posting this before it's actually over.  I'm just going to say that Michigan won.

Let's Reflect:  What Have We Learned?

• The Iowa Caucus is a Snoozefest and has turned into a contest of "Worse or Worser."
• There are more options for Subway sandwiches than there are political parties.  
• I refuse to be fooled into Kim Kardashian's trickery in 2012.
• Either Michigan or Virginia Tech won the Sugar Bowl.  

So, I Ask You?
What are your thoughts on the Caucus??  Do you think we should have more than two political parties??  Are you tired of being tricked by Kim Kardashian??



Forever, Blogging About Informative News You Can Use,
Miss Oakley


 **Comments are Welcome & No Judgement Shall Ever be Passed.
 **As with Everything I Write, Feel Free to Share.  Sharing is Caring.
 **Should you wish to read more profound thoughts throughout the day...
          Follow my twitter account @MissOakley  @MissOakley

2011: The Year I Got Over Myself

Dear Readers,

It's the start of a New Year and I have resolved:
   
"Not To Resolve."

This means I will continue to tell you things you never knew you wanted to know in the first place.

One thing that you never knew you wanted to know is that:  I stopped making resolutions a couple years ago.  I found that it was too much pressure to keep my ridiculous and impossible resolutions I made for myself.  And I always let myself down.  Knowingly letting myself down, is not healthy...and therefore, I am no longer doing it. I'm pretty sure I formerly let myself down because all of my resolutions were, in fact, both ridiculous and therefore impossible.    

You Know Those Silly Resolutions You Make To Yourself To:

• Work out every single day of the year and never miss a day for any reason whatsoever.
• Climb a mountain.
• Go on a safari.  
• Build a house with your bare hands.
• Rescue an eagle and set it free into the wild.
• Write a poem for every one of your friends/family, laminate the poem, make it into a puzzle, wrap it up, and set it outside their front door on their birthday.

You know...impossible and ridiculous resolutions.

Maybe I am the only one who made outrageous claims for the New Year in the past, I don't know.  What I do know, is that I, myself, stopped the outrage years ago and haven't made a resolution (that I couldn't keep) for a long time.  And I'm good with that.  I'm perfectly content to: Resolve not to Resolve.

2011 Was a Pivotal Year in My Life.  A Lot of Stuff Happened:
One of things that happened was something that actually DIDN'T happen.  I did not work in 2011.  Not at an actual job for actual monetary pay.

I was released from my last job January 3rd, 2011.

Today is my one-year non-work Anniversary.  I don't know if I should throw a party or get myself balloons or what.  I think I definitely should have a cake made to honor my non-work.

Although, I did not work for pay...I did get a lot of stuff done.


Most importantly, 2011 was the year I decided to get over myself.

My Decision To Get Over Myself:
I have been in the process of getting over myself for the past couple of years.  Well, I think to be honest, I have been working on it all my life.  However, I didn't become actively involved in getting over myself consciously until the last couple of years.  It has been a long road.  A lot of gains were made in 2011 and I can honestly say that I'm 85% over myself.  Which, is a percentage I'm good with.  It is going to take the rest of my life to get over the remaining 15% of myself.

Up until about 27 years of age, I feel like I was living a lie.  Not like a full on blatant lie.  More like, I wasn't being true to myself.  To make matters more complex, up until a  couple of years ago I didn't even know I wasn't being true to myself.  All I knew was that I wasn't as happy as I know I could be.  And that I was standing in my own way.  Once I determined that I wasn't being honest and truthful with myself...I began the conscious effort of getting to my true self.  And in order to be my true self, I had to get over myself.  

I've had a lot of hurdles in life.  A LOT.  Yet, I think my biggest hurdle has been myself.
  
My Biggest Decision Has Been Letting Go of Fear:
To date, fear has been the thing I feared the most.  Just straight up fear itself.  The fear of the unknown.  Fear of fear itself.  There was a lot of fear and therefore many things I was afraid of.  I call this the "Fear Factor" (yes, I realize this is a hit tv show)...But, it's also what I call my biggest hurdle.  

What I feared the most was the unknown.  For a long time I somehow felt safer knowing where my life was...and being borderline unhappy.  I wasn't unhappy unhappy...I just wasn't as happy as I could be. 
  
One year ago today, I was thrown a bone.  On January 3rd, 2011 I became the recipient of the gift of unemployment.  I have been waking up to nothing but Saturday's for a year now.  To read more about "My Saturday Situation and the American Dream" click here.

I knew it was coming...for the year leading up to me being laid off my company was very open with me.  I knew the day was eventually going to come...but I didn't know when.  Knowing that you are going to lose your job...but not when is semi-maddening.  I woke up every day for a year thinking "Is today the day??"  Finally, when the day came I wasn't sad.  I was relieved.  I don't think I've ever been more relieved in my life than when I got "the call" from my Director.  It was finally over.

I was relieved because now I had the option of making some different life choices.  I wanted to do some major re-adjustments in my life and now I had the chance.

Nothing was holding me back:
I no longer had a job...so that was no longer holding me back.  
I wasn't even dating anyone...so I didn't have to take another person's feelings/life into consideration.  
I didn't have a house/lease to worry about.  
I didn't even any pets to take care of.  Or a house plant.  I didn't even have a FERN. 
I had NOTHING to consider except my myself and my own happiness.

In 2011, I decided to face my fear of the unknown and try a couple of things out.  I decided to let go of fear and just go with it.  And by "it", I mean "Life".
.  
So, in 2011 I Tried Something New:  Letting Go of Fear:

• I did not freak out when I was laid off.  I decided to change career paths instead.  This included deciding not to stay in sales and go in an entirely different direction. I am trying to be true to myself, which includes not settling for something that isn't right for me.  Am I independently wealthy??  NO.  NOT AT ALL.  I am however, a planner.  I always plan for the worst.  I had planned for the worst when I left my former domestic partner/shared dwelling situation.  In my mind, the worst scenario would be that I was living on my own and then lost my job.  So I saved up.  For two years, I saved everything.  And against all odds:  My worst fear was realized.  So when I lost my job, I knew I was going to be ok.  Why??  Because I had saved and budgeted my life into an excel document that said I was going to be ok.  So no, I am not wealthy.  I am just a planner that uses excel documents excessively when I need to make life decisions.  I seriously have made a document for every major decision of my life.  
• The day I became unemployed I took it as a sign and I decided to apply to Graduate school.  And since I am not independently wealthy, I also decided to apply for a scholarship to pay for said graduate school.  This process involved many things.  After six months of completing everything that needs to be completed in order to get school paid for...it actually worked.  I received an RSA scholarship that would pay for grad school.  I took this as another sign that I was going in the right direction.
• I didn't have any pets and I really missed taking care of all things furry.  I contacted someone at Panora PETS, a rescue organization in Panora, Iowa and decided to become a foster mom.  I ended up fostering two dogs:  Pooh Bear, and Mr. Bingley.  Being a foster mom for these two dogs changed my life.  (I shall blog more about these guys later).  I was able to get my pet fix, take care of two dogs that deserved it, and they ended up being adopted into loving homes...Which made my heart happy.  

Mr. Bingley and Pooh Bear

• I decided to take the winter off from dating.  I had my two foster dogs, and that's all I needed as far as "dudes" in my life.  I wanted to take a couple months and re-evaluate my dating decisions.  After about 15 years of dating, I noticed a pattern.  The pattern was:  ME.  The only common denominator in my past relationships was me, myself.  So in order to have a future healthy relationship, I needed to sit myself down and figure myself out.  So I took a break and re-evaluated some things. 
• I got a passport.  I've traveled throughout the US extensively.  A lot of my traveling was for former jobs and I've pretty much been to every state (minus Alaska, the upper upper NW, and Oregon/Washington).  I love traveling and really wanted to say that I had been out of the country before I turned 30.  So one of my girlfriend's and I decided it would be a good idea to go to Canada.  So as soon as I got my passport, we did.  There was an issue at the border and something was confiscated...and I had to be detained and sign some papers...But other than that it was a good trip.  (I shall blog about Canada later.)
• Around the time of Canada I met someone that I thought I would never date.  I honestly went on a date with him, just to see how bad it was.  It wasn't bad.  So I continued to date this person.  I swore up and down I would never date this guy.  Turns out, he's the love of my life.  I gave the last guy on earth I thought I'd date a chance, and he ended up being the best boo ever.  I love that guy.  
• I turned 30.  It's kind of a big deal to turn 30 when you are a woman...When you aren't married, with no children...not a home owner...Not employed and therefore not on a career path...you know the whole American dream.  There was a two month period (leading up to my birthday) where I kind of had a major problem with turning 30.  Once I turned 30 though, I decided it was awesome.  I love being 30.  I think my thirties are going to blow my 20's out of the water.
• A couple of days after turning 30, I had to intense longing to be around my family.   So randomly one day I got in the car with Mr. Bingley and drove 14 hours to visit my brother and his girlfriend in west Texas.  Earlier that day he had called me and told me he missed me.  I missed him too.  And since I had nothing but time on my hands, as I was waking up to nothing but Saturdays, I packed up, and left within the hour.  I spent a week with a couple people I loved.  It was awesome.  It was also a trip I needed.  I did a lot of thinking in Texas.  I also did a lot of eating. 

My brother and I

• I had the summer of my life.  Probably the best summer ever.  My friends made sure of that.  Having the summer "off"/being unemployed is nothing short of being the total bomb.  In addition to every day being a Saturday...Every Day Is A SUNNY Saturday Full of Fun.  So my summer was incredible.  (Except for August, which I'm not going to blog about.)  But minus, August, it was the best summer ever.  Pretty much every weekend was spent with friends on a boat/body of water/pool/lake...It was amazing.  Also, I got a wicked tan.    
• I entered graduate school.  Like, I actually started classes.  This is different than applying for graduate school.  Actually buying your books, and showing up to your first class makes everything real.  On my first day of class I remember taking forever to decide what to wear.  It was like the first day of middle school all over again.  I was convinced my outfit on the first day of class would determine the course of my education.  As I reflect on this now, I can't even remember what I wore.  I DO know that I did wear some articles of clothing...as I was not arrested.  However, the details of my actual outfit are unknown.  At any rate, I actually started school.  In three years I will be a Rehabilitation Counselor.   
• I finished my first semester of Graduate School.  Turns out, going back to school has been the best decision of my life.  I love my classes and the people in them.  I love everything about Rehabilitation Counseling.  So far, so good.
• 2011 was also the year that I let my friends and family fully emotionally support me.  It was the year that I let everyone into my vulnerabilities, insecurities, and fears.  I let my loved ones be there for me.  My friends and family are amazing.  My family doesn't live in the same state as I do, but they were emotionally there for me whenever I needed them.  The girl friends I have here in Iowa are nothing short of incredible.  If it wasn't for them, I don't know if I could have gone on this journey of getting over myself.  You have friends and then you have FRIENDS.  Like straight up, legit friends, that will be there for you no matter what...these girls are those friends.  They love me unconditionally...which I know for a fact.  I will be friends with these girls for the rest of my life.  And that's the best feeling ever.  

Girlfriends

• I also had the best holiday season of my life.  Normally, the holidays are stressful and sometimes non-fun.  This year however, it was different.  Instead of having panic attacks around the holidays, I looked forward to them.  It was the best year ever.  It was also the first year with my boo...And I'm pretty sure that had a lot to do with it.  We spent this holiday with everyone we cared about:  my friends, his friends, my family and his.  He and I also decided to spend all future holidays together.  We decided it would be for our own good to team up and just spend the rest of our lives together.   

My Boo and I

So, 2011 was a big year.  The Year that I Got Over Myself  (Or at least 85% of the way over myself).  I'm super pumped for 2012.  I'm also super pumped to continue getting over myself.  I'm glad that everything in my life has lead up to where I am today.  I am able to look at all of the mis-steps, and wrong turns and fully embrace my past.  I look forward to my future.  And because I am me: I know my future will embrace awkwardness, randomness, and there will be many stories.  Which I plan on sharing with you, my loyal and devoted readers (aka my mom). 

Let's Reflect, What Did We Learn?:

• Sometimes we make impossible and ridiculous resolutions like:  Rescuing an eagle...in hopes to set it free in the wild.     
• "Fear Factor" is not only a hit television series, it is also the main hurdle in my life.  
• Making excel documents is how I make major life decisions.
• I am 85% over myself.  I will spend the rest of my life getting over the last 15%.

So, I Ask You:?

What was your New Year's resolution??  What is your process of making life decisions??  Do you or do you not, want to rescue an eagle and set it free in the wild??

Forever, Blogging About Things You Never Knew You Wanted To Know In The First Place,

Miss Oakley

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